I HATE THIS TOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UP [david]

[andrew bartholomew wilde]

no. no, no, no, fuck this. drew was an adult. maybe he didn't want to be an adult - he didn't want to be anything - but fuck it he could recognize that he left behind the third grade, ya know...when he progressed to the fourth. and even when he was younger, he was never annoying. he was funny; class clown. growing up, people liked him because that was drew before he figured out that everyone out there in the world is a bastard covered bastard with bastard filling. he had a sense of humor and a damn good one and it was still obvious whenever he spoke to people. he made a joke out of everything; maybe now he was pissy because fuck jetlag and fuck hartford and fuck david fucking harrison, but once he'd had time to rest it would become obvious that the guy couldn't be taken seriously to save his life because well...life was just a joke to him. just the annoying interlude between birth and death and boy was he looking forward to death. but sense of humor that he had, he was also easily annoyed by the stupidity of others. and david wasn't being funny - he was being stupid.

stupid! a fucking idiot by drew's normal standards and god he had never wanted to punch somebody so badly before in his entire life just because of sheer nerve. his entire life was falling apart; hell they'd barely allowed his wrists time enough to scar the fuck over before sending him on his god damn way to hartford and this guy, this fucking guy who was supposed to be helping him thought that it was wise to mock him? that was his response and his parents thought him qualified to turn drew into a better person? he was going to turn him into a nuisance with shit like that and god help him if he gave a fuck if they put him on death row for the murder of this mother fucker because at least his lawyer would pretend to give a fuck before sending his pretty little ass away to get a happy injection from the doc.

he turned to face him when his impersonation continued, a look of complete incredulation on his features and he shook his head slightly in disbelief before scoffing and looking away again. great. great. this is what he was stuck with. this. he didn't understand it. the longer he was around this guy, the longer he was regretting not going to the back of the plane and finding something to off himself with. not that it would have worked since they check the bathrooms every like ten minutes or something like that nowadays but still it would have gotten the message across that this sorry second attempt at life wasn't something that he was really interested in and maybe they'd send him to a real therapist or a real institution seeing as attempting suicide is a crime or something stupid like that and he was supposed to be kept incarcerated in a facility instead of in a car with this mother fucking lunatic.

"nice to know you're taking this just so seriously," he said to the window where he could barely see the reflection of some of david's clothing, pulling his jacket tighter around him as he continued to just stare out the window. now he could just...ignore the guy. he was just going to ignore him, completely disregard anything he said. fuck, he'd stay in the car until david gave up on him and sent him off to prison or wherever it is that suicide victims go when they suck so badly at life that they can't even kill themselves properly. just as long as he didn't have to put up with him, just as long as it at least got him sent back to the state where he committed the crime because that would mean that belle was there and belle could visit and belle would be close by and he could stop feeling like...like his life was somewhere else and he was missing it because instead he was here. being mocked by a two year old in a grown man's body and wondering how the hell his life sunk this low.

[/justify]

[david william harrison]

there's a fire starting in my heart

reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] ROLLING IN THE DEEP ! drew was going to be work, he was more than aware of this face from the moment that the other man had come into sight. he was going to be a lot of work and at a time where david really didn't have it in him to break another person. he was suffering some sort of heartbreak from leaving peter and kyle behind. and he was upset. and really, he didn't want to have to break someone. not that he didn't have it in him, because he did. he had the training, the know how. and none of it included mocking, but hell, david knew that even if he had tried striking up conversation with the other man he would just be ignored. drew didn't want to be here, there was probably a huge part of him that was convinced he didn't need to be there, or that david wasn't going to be the person to help him. he could tell by every little move the other man made what was going through his head. it wasn't difficult, it wasn't complicated. david had seen enough people of drew's breed in his time. so why not mock him? why not have a good time of it, even if he was the only one that was having a good time. he would draw a line though, if only because there was only so much that he could do before letting out a laugh. and something about drew's look that he shot his way, and the words that he mumbled caused david to break. the man relaxed his own position into something more natural for him and he let out a small chuckle. "something tells me you are serious enough for the both of us," david mused in simple tones letting a smile slip into his cat like mouth. with that he reached towards the mini-fridge pulling out a water for the two of them and offering one to the man at his side. he wasn't sure really if drew would take it, but it wasn't in david to be rude and not offer something. silence fell over the pair again as the older of the two took a long pull off of the bottle before capping it and then relaxing back into his seat. eyes closed as he settled and he just enjoyed the silence. after all, the way that david saw it, silence was one of the greatest things that a person could experience. he didn't see much need in filling those gaps where all he could hear was the steady breathing of the both of them. a calm washed over the man as he let his mind wander back to his days with matthias. back to his training. to where he didn't do things the way that he had for over a decade but instead the way that he was trained. it was almost like he had to go over the lessons again. there were the root ones, the ones that he hung onto and lived his life by. trust, truth, compassion. the pain to pleasure ratio. all of these things that had been instilled in him, that were a part of him as much as his heart or brain were. he couldn't live without these lessons. eyes finally opened and he lulled his head to look over at the man seated beside him. there was only so much he could read about a person. things that had been placed in the file that he'd studied over. it wasn't all that odd to find that he had ended up with the sort of air about him that he had. parents who never seemed to care. a little sister with a so called disability that had probably caused drew to lose faith in the kindness of people. eyes watched the man at his side, studied every little aspect about him. a small frown took over his lips, sympathy filling his eyes. he could see it just by looking at him that had he been given a different lot in life this drew would be a much different person. finally his gaze tore away as they pulled up to the large home. a mansion really. now was when things would really start. the silence would be broken. "we're home," he informed him in soft tones as the driver parked the car and then opened the door for them. he stepped out of the vehicle hands moving to take hold of the bag that drew had brought with him. "follow me please," he spoke softly before leading him into the house. eyes then landed onto alex and a smile pulled his lips. "hello love," he greeted before placing a small kiss to his boy's pout. "can you please take this and put it in my room?" he asked handing him the bag that belonged to the new house member. his attention turned back to drew. "would you like a tour, or would you just like to just go to your room?" 8 3 8 WORDS , renee/drew , and so the heartbreak begins

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[andrew bartholomew wilde]

his lips pursed at david's comment about his serious attitude and he pointedly ignored the water bottle offered to him as he chose to instead go back to looking out the window at the passing scenery. he'd never really left ohio and of course the first time that he did, he was trapped in a car with this fucking psycho toddler man to be mocked and ridiculed. really - it was fan-fucking-tastic. he could see why his parents thought this was such a great idea. honestly? could anyone blame him for being bitter? he just got done digging a knife into his arms trying to kill himself. excuse him if he wasn't the most jolly fucker in the world then and there because he immediately got kidnapped afterward and sent off to be in the care of this man who was far too happy and obviously didn't know how to deal with people in situations like his. he was so fucking sorry.

god he wished he'd just drive him back to ohio. he thought about stopping his sulking for a few seconds to ask but he had a feeling that the guy would just tell him to shut the fuck up and deal with what he'd been dealt. he wasn't going back to columbus anytime soon, wasn't going to see his sister anytime soon, and while it sucked, talking to this psycho wasn't going to change that. so he stayed sitting there in silence, lips pursed as he thought about this situation. he wondered for a moment if they were going to fill his position working at the garage - wondered if he'd ever be able to go back and work with them ever again. he wondered how harper, his best friend, was getting on now that drew hadn't shown up to work for a week or two. he wondered if anyone told him he tried to kill himself. he wondered if he had access to belle. and he wondered a lot, for most of the trip back to the guy's house, if he would ever get the chance to see either of them again. a sinking glance back at david told him probably not.

as the car approached the house, his initial response was just a raised eyebrow. apparently the dude was loaded - great. from one set of rich bitches who couldn't help him out to the next. this was going to be just peachy. he couldn't stand looking up at the damn place and focused his eyes straight ahead of him at the seat. only when david reached down to grab his bag (he immediately reached out to take it back but that risked having to touch him so he immediately fell back with a set jaw) did he look away to acknowledge his surroundings. the house was nice. nicer than anything he'd ever lived in that much was certain, even with his parents' money. most of their expenses went toward belle - hospitalization and nurses and people to watch over her when drew couldn't. but they always had plenty to adorn the house with. belle just didn't need the extra confusion of more rooms.

it was nicer on the inside and drew paused to look around, taking in the decorations and style of the place. it was very obviously a man's house. little to no female influence which was nice. the last thing drew needed was anything there to potentially steal his heart - he had it on lockdown and didn't want to risk feeling any connection to the place. a woman would only drag him down. though apparently he didn't have to worry about that as david walked into the house and kissed another man who was there promptly on the lips. he watched as the other man took his belongings (seriously? who gave them permission to manhandle his shit? and why was it going to david's room?) said, "sure thing, baby," and gave david another kiss before scurrying off. immediately his stomach churned.

not that he was homophobic. no, drew didn't care much about gender, had been with a few men himself, but he had been counting on david being like...straight. a woman was bad but being in the care of a man who liked men was worse. great. he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, sighing deeply. "pardon me for being blunt," he said, "but if i have to see anymore of this place, i'm going to hurl. jet lag. bad mood. don't want to be here. i'd rather just go to my room."

[/justify]

[david william harrison]

there's a fire starting in my heart

reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.tinypic.com/wb98wn.jpg');,true] ROLLING IN THE DEEP ! it occurred to david on more than one occasion that people thought that he was just some spoiled kid who had had money his whole life. that he didn't know a thing about pain. a thing about the real world. or things that helped shape a person into who he was. he couldn't help but think as they pulled up to the house that drew was probably under the impression that david had no idea what he was going through. that he had never had to struggle in his life, that he'd never been dealt a shitty hand. the older man knew well enough what people assumed when they looked at his big house, at his cars, at his art gallery, or all the things that belonged to him in his life. and so many just wanted to assume that he had just gotten them because he had been born into a wealthy family. this wasn't the case, soon enough, drew would know that this wasn't the case. that david himself might not carry the scars like the ones that drew had on his wrists, but he did have his won battle wounds from the never ending fight with getting the shit end of life. what drew didn't yet know, was that david could relate to him in ways that he probably didn't even think were possible. but, there wouldn't be a whole bunch of story telling. not yet. he wasn't going to push drew too much. the boy was in a foul mood, he had just been taken from everything in the world that he knew and loved. he had just been forced into a different life after having been ripped out of everything he knew. and of course there was a part of david that felt bad for the kid, there was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to make all of the pain go away and change everything for him. make it better. make his life better. but the bottom line of it was, that it would all take time. everything with drew was going to take time. and there was nothing to change that. the question was, though, how much time was it going to take. he hadn't broken someone in this way in so long. all of his pets came to him willingly. drew was different from the start. and if only david knew that drew was going to be the end of him. that this was some kind of prologue to everything that was going to rattle his world. david didn't know any of that, though. all he knew was that he had this boy in his home now, who needed his help. but in a different way than his other boys had needed his help. and he knew that he could do it. he knew that he could fix something in him, if not everything, and if nothing else maybe make it so that drew didn't want to drive another knife into his arm anytime soon. that he would see that there's something more to the world than the pain and the horror. david was able to see it, after months and months of living with matthias, he was finally able to grasp onto the fact that there was a lot about life that was worth living. that simply having friends was a thing that was worth living for. or a sister who meant the world to you. she seemed to be something that drew had forgotten. but most of all, david wanted to teach this boy, that he himself, mattered to himself. and that was the real lesson that he would need to teach. for the time being though, he was just going to lead him to his room. "i understand, and don't worry. i take no offense to it," he spoke in soft tones. "this way," he instructed before leading him into what would be his bedroom. in which, the only things that were a bed and a table. no television. no books. no anything. start from scratch. start him off with the bare minimum. this was how things were going to work. david pointed to the intercom on the inside of the room. "if you need anything, you can use this," he explained with a gentle smile. "i have some things to see to. what would you like for dinner?" he asked, keeping that smile on his lips. idgaf WORDS , renee/drew , and so the heartbreak begins

table by california dreaming @ caution 2.0

[andrew bartholomew wilde]

the more drew saw of this place, the angrier he became. he couldn't put his finger on it. maybe it was just the happiness that bugged him. where he came from in columbus, happiness didn't come from a house with all the amenities and a boyfriend. no, a big house in columbus was lonely and a boyfriend - ha, a boyfriend was heartbreak for sure. to drew, happiness had always come in a bottle, sometimes a glass if he was feeling particularly social, a can if he was really desperate. he wasn't happy all the time but he pretended for his little sister, with whom pretending was as good as reality. his best friend had been homeless for most of his life, abandoned by his parents, and all his co-workers had the same jaded attitude and dry sense of humor he did. there wasn't much happiness in drew's life. maybe it was just the dark shadow of his own lonely depression that made him think that way but it was hard to pinpoint happy memories. most of them happened when he was wasted.

but david wasn't drunk. drew couldn't smell alcohol on him (and if there was one thing drew could usually track down, it was alcohol) and he didn't seem drugged. he just seemed legitimately happy to be there, and hell, maybe he had a right to be. the house was clean. there weren't guard rails in every room; corners of tables could go unpadded. important things didn't have to be locked away and he didn't have to watch everything he said. it didn't smell like beer or undone laundry and lacked the air of being thoroughly lived in - and he didn't mean 'lived in' in a very good way. david wasn't torn away from his life; david lived comfortably in a big mansion with a pretty little boy and a house big enough to have a fucking intercom system for christ's sake. he was privileged. he had things drew couldn't fathom having despite his family having the means to get them. overall, the house had an air of being generally cared for. and that was probably what annoyed drew the most.

"damn," he responded teasingly before he could stop himself when david said he didn't take offense. annoyed as drew was, there were some aspects of his personality that weren't going to fade with jetlag or near death experiences. and that dry sense of humor was one of them. he followed him to his room in silence after that, though, not trusting his tongue to be kind enough not to betray a sense of humor beneath the scowl. the last thing he needed was david attempting to crack more stupid jokes. so he just followed and when they reached the room, he thought to himself that this was more of what he was used to. a plain room. no fancy decorations. no tv, no books, no anything. just a bed and a table and not even particularly adorned ones. this he could live with; this was the only place he'd been in a long time that felt even slightly like home. and even that was ruined by the intercom.

but hey, it had a bed, and if it had a bed, it meant he could sleep away his days there, bury his head into the pillows and never wake up again and will himself to die in his sleep. he'd heard people had done that before; willed themselves to death. he could only be so fortunate. he took in the room a few times looking for anything at all that could be potentially entertaining. but his bag had been taken and he had a table and a bed and honestly that was enough to give him to sit around and think which was probably more entertaining than anything david wanted to throw at him. so he could live with it. at the mention of food, though, drew waved him off and moved further into the room, taking a seat on the bed, happy to rest. "not hungry," he lied, as he childishly bounced himself for a second on the mattress just to test what his sister always called the overall "springyness". she used to say an extra springy bed was a happy bed and he wasn't sure what that meant but the memory depressed him anyway. he didn't want food then and there. food would only distract him from thoughts like that and while it hurt, belle was the last sane thing he had to grasp to. he'd gone days without food before; he could do it again.

[/justify]