ONLY YOU THERE IN THE KISS {alec}

[jason allen wilson]

How could he ever had been afraid of this? How could he ever think that it would be frightening to fall in love? Nothing he had done with Alec, nothing, from agreeing to go out to ice cream with him for the first time to their question-and-answer session to even the first time his boyfriend's hand got the okay to head a little further south than usual when they kissed, had terrified him. Nothing had gotten his breathing to go erratic in a way that would lead to a panic attack, nothing had gotten him so frightened that he couldn't even speak, and nothing, nothing at all had left him staying up late at night wondering whether or not it was okay to regret the actions that he continued to repeat. Nothing. For the first time in his life, Jason just felt....comfortable. Unconditionally loved and adored and everything else he could never in a thousand years see himself actually feeling. And it was all because of him. All because of this amazing man with so much love him for him and so much love for the world around them that sometimes Jason even felt himself believing one day he could leave the house without first cleaning the doorknob and using germ-x every hour on the hour until he got back into the comfort of his own home.

Because that was the way that Alec made him feel. Invincible. Like nothing in the world was able to stand in his way as long as he had this perfect man by his side. Of course, he knew that his boyfriend was far from the perfect human being. Hell, he sold pot for a living and though it was legal, medicinal marijuana, Jason knew it wasn't always honest and Jason knew that his boyfriend smoked. He knew that Alec wasn't always sober though he at least had the good graces not to get high around him. No, Alec Hoades was far from a perfect person and maybe he wasn't Jason's ideal Prince Charming. Maybe he didn't have all the qualities that Jason had once sat down and thought that he needed in a person. Maybe he wasn't subtle or always calm, maybe he did smoke pot, maybe he wasn't as innocent as Jason was when they met, maybe he wasn't this made up, fake, ideal image of what Prince Charming should be. But if anything, that's what made Jason love him more. He wasn't something that he dreamed up straight out of a novel; he was real. Tangible. Something that was in his grasp, literally as well as figuratively.

He couldn't see himself with another human being for the rest of his life, could only close his eyes and see himself with this man. And terrifying as that should be, Alec made it okay. Just him being there was enough to soothe any worries Jason could ever have about their relationship, enough to give him the strength to smile and say that it was okay and mean it. Because he had him, someone who understood at last that he wasn't "Baby J" or this naive human being who couldn't handle the world. Alec knew everything that was wrong with him, knew everything that messed him up. The things even Kendall didn't know. He knew about Cait, about that teacher of his, about the anxiety, about...about everything. And he stayed anyway. He stayed and he made Jason feel okay. Even though Jason didn't want to speed through their relationship. Even though he was new to pretty much everything Alec had already experienced. Even though he was this...imperfect, incomplete person, he stayed. And that...that was more than anyone had ever done. He didn't try to change him, didn't try to make him "right". He just stayed there in his arms, beneath him, kissing him, holding him, loving him.

And the noises that he made, the way that he kissed him, the smile that always seemed to be on his lips...everything was perfect, all of it. There wasn't a part of being with Alec that Jason disliked, wasn't a thing he would change about his time spent with him except that maybe it would never end. He could lay in bed with him for hours kissing him, touching him, just talking and enjoying his presence and never, ever having to do anything else. "I love you," he whispered quietly and grinned widely at him, happy just to be there with him. Everything that he did was precious, everything that he said he would do for them, for their relationship, for everything that they had been working toward in the past months. The testing, the sweet words he said, the words Jason genuinely believed...he was perfect. Imperfect by Prince Charming standards maybe. But perfect still. He kissed him softly, tenderly before adding, "There's no one else in the world for me but you. So don't even worry about that."

When the question came up of whether or not Noah told them to do anything else, he couldn't stop the blush from spreading across his cheeks or the small, awkward laugh that escaped his lips as he pulled back to rest his forehead on Alec's shoulder, hiding his face. Yes. There was something Noah had mentioned but Jason had...purposefully avoided that subject because even when Noah had first told him about it he had been too embarrassed to even speak. Because he had to face it - he could stand Noah talking to him about everything else but his last suggestion...well that had been a little much. He'd never even really...watched porn on his own. Watching it with Alec? That was....different. But he asked so Jason soon lifted his head, an amused smile still on his lips. "Yeah," he said, nodding ever so slightly. "Yeah he mentioned, uhm, that for...uh...well neither of us have ever...with another....guy...so he uhm...just thought it would be wise if you...and me....together, uhm...watched..." He trailed off, trying to think of the right words. "Well an adult movie, I guess. With two uhm...guys." And that was all he was getting out before his face burned a brighter red and he once more hid his blush by nuzzling into his boyfriend's neck.

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[alec chase hoades]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 330px; border-right: 20px solid #000033; background-image:url(http://i1059.photobucket.com/albums/t422/TechnicAware/Apple%20Headphones/BackgroundBlueMetal.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] we found love in a hopeless place, yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side, and your shadow crosses mind, what it takes to come alive, it's the way i'm feeling i just can't deny, but i've gotta let it go there were moments like these where alec wished that he had some way to show jason more than he already had how much he loved him. some way he could express it to him with more than just words, with more than just actions, with something that no human had ever used to show another person that they loved them before. because that's how much jason meant to him. that's how perfect he was in alec's eyes. he deserved more than just common romantic gestures. he deserved more than alec would every be able to really give him, but that wouldn't stop the boy from trying, because, well, he loved him that much. wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of his life, as strange as that was for a boy of twenty to say. but it was the truth. alec was happy, more than happy, he was in love, and he had this overwhelming feeling that he could search the world ten times over and never find a love like the one that he had with the wilson boy. they had been made for each other, in some way that alec couldn't explain. and they were perfect in a way that never happened in real life, or at least, that was what he thought. when it came down to it, they weren't very similar. alec was too laid back to be human sometimes, and he smoked pot, and he loved being around people. and he came from a family that was filled with more people than some mormon families. and jason, he didn't deal well with people, or germs, or drugs, or anything like that. he was quiet. he was reserved. and it just made alec love him more. they created a yin-yang sort of dynamic. where jason lacked, alec succeeded, and vise versa. it was amazing, it was perfect, it was everything that alec didn't know he needed but there was no way that he was going to give it up now that he had it. this happiness, which was so much more than he'd ever had before in his life. and really, that was saying a lot for a guy who really didn't have many problems. if any. and the problems that he did have he just brushed off like they were no big deal and he moved on with life, but jason came into his world. and he wiped away everything that had ever been bad. and would ever be bad. alec knew it. and he only hoped that he did the same for his boyfriend. so many would probably say that the reason they felt they were each other's happily every after was because they were still in the honeymoon phase. and maybe alec was naive for thinking that this was just how they would be the rest of the time they were together. maybe he should've been wiser about it. but whatever the case was, he loved jason. and even if they went through rough times. even if they were fighting or anything like that. even if jagger and alec ended up going to blows because jagger was an ass hat who couldn't just accept his little brother's relationship. alec would stand by him. he would work for what they had. he wouldn't give up their relationship so easily, no matter what happened. alec was in it for the long haul, and he was sure a lot of people said that when they were newly in love, but alec meant it. there was nothing that jason could do that would push him away or make him not want to be with him. a wide grin took over his lips at jason's words and he after returning the soft kiss. "i love you too, jase," he spoke in tones as soft as his boyfriend's had been. the reassurance in his words caused him to kiss the boy again. "likewise, baby." and wasn't it the truth. he knew he would never feel right like this again ever in his life, so there was no reason to give it up. a curious sort of expression fell into alec's features as he waited for jason to answer. he could tell that his boy was blushing without even looking down at him, and he let his fingers pet his hair in a loving way, twirling some of the blonde locks gently. the question was, what exactly had it been. not that it took a whole hell of a lot to get jason to blush, but alec had a feeling that this was going to be a bit more than talks about condoms or who would top. if only because of the way that he was hiding his face. and all of this only cause his curiosity to intensify as he waited. he locked eyes on his boy's when he looked at him again, and an amused expression came onto his lips the more that the words fell, as staggered as they were, from jason's mouth. he couldn't keep the small chuckle that escaped in when jason was finished. he nodded in understanding and pulled him closer. "well, i see. noah wants us to watch gay porn together," he said the words in a more comfortable way that they had come out from his boyfriend's own mouth. "you know, it might not, be such a bad idea. i mean, noah doesn't have a lot of points when it comes to a lot of things. but i think with this he has a bit of experience and expertise, ya know?" he concluded followed by a light shrug. of course, the thought of watching porn with jason was a bit amusing if nothing else, but hell, it could be educational. "it's up to you what we do, though, jase. i don't want you to be uncomfortable." and with that he placed two fingers under jason's chin to lift his face so that he could press another loving kiss to his lips. tag || RENEE/JASON || words || 1 0 0 3 || outfit || PFFT || notes || yay cotton candy

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TEMPLATE BY ANYA OF CAUTION 2.0
LYRICS BY RIHANNA[/center]

[jason allen wilson]

jason didn't used to understand how people did it. how they could hold hands with somebody and walk around town, or how they could let someone sling an arm around their shoulders or waist while they walked. he didn't understand that level of possession - didn't get what would compel someone to want somebody to place that sort of ownership on them. it's not that it really disturbed him. jason was far from free-spirited, as anyone could tell you, and he knew that people needed one another to survive. he just had never had the compulsion to let someone claim him or to claim someone before. he'd never understood how someone could let someone else touch them all the time, how they could possibly look at another person and think that it was a good idea to let their hands touch, their lips, their bodies entwined in a darkened room. to him it felt so...so personal, so awkward. he didn't think he could ever get it.

but with alec, suddenly, he understood. suddenly it made sense in his head. when alec put his arm around him, jason snuggled into the touch, loved the looks they got in public when people realized that they weren't two friends messing around but two boys who were stupidly, unconditionally, irrevocably in love with one another. when alec kissed his cheek or ran a possessive hand along his waist in public, it wasn't to lay a claim or show ownership. it just felt like a simple reminder that he could, that jason was something he could touch and god did jason ever love when he touched him like that. it was like even while all these other people were around, alec could still give him something intimate, something that was uniquely his, and suddenly the appeal of a relationship and public displays of affection became very apparent in jason's mind. because suddenly jason wanted them. he wanted alec's arm around him and his lips on his lips and their bodies entwined in a darkened room.

and shit sometimes it was embarrassing, his feelings. he remembered the first time he'd ever gotten aroused because of what alec was doing, the blush that had come to his cheeks, how he'd hidden his face in abject horror against his boyfriend's chest. things like that, breaking through all the firsts with alec, had been completely embarrassing. even their first night spent together, innocently wrapped in each other having done nothing but slept, had made jason embarrassed because he didn't know if he snored or if he moved a lot while he slept and when he woke up in the morning, it was to a horrible tenting in his pants and a horribly embarrassed baby wilson. but alec never teased him, never pushed him, never made fun of him for acting like a kid who had been caught jerking off in church every time he felt something new or experienced a new sexual feeling. he was steady and supportive and constant and jason loved him more for it. if life got better than life with alec hoades, then jason didn't know how people could sit around and strive not to reach for it.

because alec was the single most understanding and loving and caring human beings that jason had ever met in his entire life and he had never felt so safe as he did in those moments when it was just the two of them and alec was guiding him into a new experience in his life. he nuzzled into his neck as he spoke and when he lifted his chin to kiss him, jason was hit again with the dizzy feeling of being so completely in love with this man that it actually hurt. "as long as i'm with you," he said as he pulled away, "i don't think i could be too horribly uncomfortable." he pressed another kiss to his lips, addicted to the feeling, and smiled. "i think we...should. i mean...we need some point of reference and i know it's not terribly accurate but..." he cuddled in closer to him. "but it's something. and i'm certainly not asking anymore people, asking noah was..." he trailed off. it spoke for itself. "but yeah. as long as it was just you. and me. and that's it. in the house. in the vicinity. i think i'd be okay." he smiled at him lovingly. "anything to prepare us for this."

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