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Post by maddox makena starr on Feb 22, 2012 23:01:03 GMT -5
Laying there with his arm shielding his eyes from the light in the room he was actually slowly starting to feel less dizzy and he could feel the painkillers slowly starting to help a little with the headache as well. A small sigh of relief escaped his lips though he was still in quite a substantial amount of pain. Any minor relief was still something to be happy about at this point. He knew people tended to look weirdly on his non snobbish attitude about sitting on the floor and the likes but honestly he'd never planned on becoming a model or being a part of that upper class sort of world after he got his tattoos and he didn't much give a crap about what people thought about him. However as he heard her close the door, he figured she thought he wouldn't want people seeing him on the floor. Maybe she was even a little embarrassed on his behalf, but honestly wasn't laying down on the floor better than ending up puking all over the floor at the firm because he was so dizzy?
"Oh, I'm sorry I'm so used to the fact that people refer to me as freak that I tend to use it about myself half the time. I mean what way better to disarm a word from it's offensive nature by using it yourself right?" he said and shrugged a little. He sounded like he was starting to feel slightly better, oh there was still pain in his voice but it seemed a little lessened than before they'd made their way into the conference room. "I would never consider calling names to anyone else though, believe me I know how much simple words can sting. I try not to do that to anyone else. There's no need to really" he said simply, and of course it made perfect sense that he knew how it felt to have people tossing hurtful words his way with the tattoos and all, but he wasn't really referring to that, more to the fact that his parents had done that to him constantly.
"You know they're not just tattoos that was made to shock other people or to make a statement." he muttered, most people always thought he'd gotten his tattoos simply to get attention from the world but the truth couldn't be further from it. He wasn't after having people stare at him and judge him. He was simply after trying to be comfortable with he who he was and then also because the human anatomy fascinated him and he wanted to show off something that was important to him. The ability to dig himself into anatomy books and horror flicks when he was younger was the only thing that had been keeping him sane. It made sense to him to display that with who he was no matter what it would do to the way people looked at him. He was rather used to being shunned and mistreated as it was and there really was nothing worse people could do to him than what had already been done to him.
He didn't really know what else to say at this point, despite the fact that she was nice there was a little bit of awkwardness in the air. He just didn't want to lie there in awkward silence either. So there he was trying to think through his headache trying to figure out what to say next to keep the conversation going but he was coming up with a blank. Just staring at the back of his elbow. Sighing he close his eyes and bit his lip slightly. Fucking hell he hurt so bad, but at the same time he wanted to get through the day at work. He hated backing out of a deal he'd made, a promise was a promise and it wasn't something he easily backed out of. All he really wanted to do right then though was to go home and get some rest. Sleeping likely wouldn't do him much good though, but he wasn't much in the mood to be pleasant yet he enjoyed the company at the same time.
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Post by diana evelyn mason on Feb 22, 2012 23:56:50 GMT -5
He looked so pain, and she felt so bad about it. Though it was probably also in part because of his tattoos, there was definitely something darker about Maddox then there was with anyone else she had seen all day and she had a feeling that pain was a big factor. She knew how pain could affect people's moods, making them grumpier and cranky and even a little mean sometimes and though he had been nothing but a complete doll to her, she was beginning to get the feeling that he was annoyed with her. Maybe it was because of the way he seemed to be defending his personality even if she hadn't spoken against him. Maybe how disgusted and repulsed she was by the tattoos wasn't as well hidden as she had originally believed. Maybe he could sense it, and that made her feel bad but what was she supposed to do? Tell him to stop explaining himself? Because to tell the truth, he was making her feel a lot more comfortable. She knew she had a bad habit of just taking everything people told her at face value and believing every lie they threw her way. But she didn't think that Maddox was lying. She had a feeling he was genuinely trying to be reassuring and if anything, that helped her get comfortable. But it also made her feel so bad because he was so kind but also so pained and her judgment probably wasn't doing a thing to help.
Because he probably got that a lot. Judgment. She knew what that was like, too, being judged because of how you looked and who you were, though she probably got much different insults tossed her way than the ones Maddox got. Still she knew what it was like - the whispers and the way people always seemed to stop talking right when you looked their way so that you didn't catch them talking about you. She'd been there. She'd lived it every day of her life, was still living it and though it as probably nothing compared to what he got, she at least sort of understood. It was hard, living life and staying strong when everyone around you was talking behind your back and no one seemed to meet your eye. It was hard being judged, whether it was for being too pretty or too dumb or too rich or for having too many tattoos. Why you were judged didn't make it any easier to cope with, because no amount of beauty or money could take away the sting of people's words. She didn't know how people other than her dealt with it and she especially couldn't imagine the reactions that Maddox got every day. And maybe it was that or maybe because their mutual judgment brought them a connection, but when Maddox didn't move from the ground, Diana decided to move from her place on the chair to sit cross legged in front of Maddox's basically motionless body.
"If anyone asks," she told him with a kind smile, "I stayed in a chair the whole time." Because as much as she hated to admit it, her reputation among the other employees did mean something to her. She was always so careful while there, refusing to give anybody a reason to criticize her. She always looked her best (her jeans that day were such a rare occasion) and she always DID her best around the firm, making sure she looked and acted professional at all times. She worked hard, never faltered, never let anything get her down and she definitely didn't take any personal time to just...sit and relax like she wanted to. No one ever saw her vulnerable. No one ever heard her singing along to a song or dancing around her office or even really doing so much as sit down. It wasn't like her. But with Maddox she felt that he might appreciate the comraderie. And with Maddox she felt that she couldn't be judged. With him, she felt free to stop being a queen and to act like the mortal girl she was beneath the ego, the makeup, the job, and the reputation. "They're fascinating, you know," she told him, examining his arms with her eyes now that she was closer to him. "Your tattoos. Though you probably get that a lot." She bit her lip. "If you don't mind me asking, if it wasn't for the publicity or...attention or to shock people...why did you get them?" She paused for a moment before adding, "You don't have to answer that. I'm just wondering. I've never quite understood tattoos."
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Post by maddox makena starr on Feb 27, 2012 5:25:49 GMT -5
The nauseous feeling due to the headache was slowly dissolving, but as he shifted slightly to get a bit more comfortable he could easily feel that it'd come back if he got back to his feet yet. Luckily there was another good while until the next shoot and he could just lie here and rest the whole time. He wasn't quite sure if she would stay the whole time, but the best guess he had was that she would if she wasn't asked to leave. As much as trying to be pleasant and come up with a conversational topic was difficult, he honestly did kind of want the company. There was just something about her that seemed a bit different from most of the other people around here. She seemed genuinely nice and pleasant. It didn't seem to be an act with her as it was with so many other people he had met while he worked as a model. There were just so many of them out there that would do anything to kiss his ass and get on his good side. As if they thought he'd explode if they said something wrong.
"Your secret is safe with me" he said honestly as she told him to never admit to anyone that she'd been sitting on the floor with him. He had no issues understanding that she wanted her colleagues to see her as perfect and professional, but to him the whole act most people seemed to have when it came to these things was stupid. After all, why couldn't people just accept everyone the way they were? Everyone had their quirks and the things that made them different from others and why everyone felt the need to be sheep he'd never understand. Fair enough though, if that's what made them comfortable with their lives, who was he to judge them? He could feel her eyes on him and figured she was studying his tattoos, after all, she was much closer now and would be able to get a better look if she wanted to. It wasn't uncommon that people who were able to get close enough ended up studying them.
It wasn't so usual for him to have people state that they were fascinating though, either people usually thought they were cool and awesome or people found them grotesque and disgusting. Fascinating wasn't the word he heard most often. "Oh yeah? Nah actually it's not something people generally say about them, it's either that they're cool or that they're disgusting." he said truthfully. He still sounded pained but at least it was getting a little better. When she asked about the why, he took a moment to think about his answer. This was again something he wasn't asked too often, people all pretty much just assumed it was for publicity or attention and didn't feel the need to ask. Even in the interviews he'd done it wasn't a question he'd been asked very often and he needed to think of an answer that wouldn't have him spilling his guts about his past, because she really didn't need to know about that.
"Well, firstly I've always been very fascinated of the human anatomy, aside from what we can see with the naked eye. The muscles, skeleton, tendons all of it. I've read countless books about it and medicine and all sorts of stuff like that. I've also always been vastly interested in horror movies and the likes. For a lare part of my life this was a very important part of my life and I spent most of my time invested in both those things. They're a big part of my life and I wanted to make it a permanent thing instead of just having it as a hobby. Secondly I never really felt very comfortable in my own skin. I never really was until I started getting tattoos. I had some regular ones at first, nine separate ones actually before I got the look I have now. I feel more complete this way, as much as it has cost me a lot of judgement and even looks of hate from people, it still makes me more comfortable." it was a long explanation but it was the best he could make at this point in time.
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Post by diana evelyn mason on Mar 11, 2012 12:06:23 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #C36241; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture-orange.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;]
please , PLEASE, FORGIVE ME, BUT I WON'T BE HOME AGAIN. MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL LOOK UP, AND BARELY CONSCIOUS, YOU'LL SAY TO NO ONE, "ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING?" YOU WON'T CRY FOR MY ABSENCE, I KNOW. YOU FORGOT ME LONG AGO. AM I SO UNIMPORTANT? AM I SO INSIGNIFICANT? ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING...? ISN'T SOMEONE . . . |
[/size][/div] missing me? 
dia tilted her head to the side to study his tattoos more intensely while he spoke. her fingers barely ghosted over the skin as she stared, not wanting to be rude and actually touch him but needing to get a solid sense that it was more than just make up. she still didn't quite understand. the tattoos were amazing feats of artwork, and she was going to give the artist his or her props because if she could recognize anything in the world it was when someone had taken a canvas and done absolutely everything that they could with it. but she didn't understand. it wasn't hard for people to see that underneath those, maddox was attractive. if they looked hard enough, examined his features, it was obvious that he was a good-looking kid before he had gone and tattooed absolutely everything. she understood the concept of not being comfortable in your own skin; but what she didn't understand was how this was supposed to make it better.
she figured it would just make everything worse, to walk around looking like a skeleton, having people react in horror or even just innate fascination. she didn't know how he could take the stares; she couldn't take them and she knew for a fact that she wouldn't attract as many stares as maddox would if they were to walk into a public place at the same time. he mentioned looks of hate and honestly, she didn't quite understand that either, as his tattoos were nothing to hate. just something that took a little adjustment to. but dia very rarely understood people and the way they worked so she didn't question it. she just sat there and stared at his arms, at his face, his neck, at every inch of tattooed surface that was offered up for her eyes to see. well they had done a good job in bringing out what he wanted. she wondered if he designed them himself or if it was someone else's work. she wasn't sure how the tattooing process happened, really, but whatever the case, it was really interesting to stare at. as if they'd painted him with a needle.
so on that note, she was surprised to find that people didn't find them fascinating. if anything that was the first word that she'd use to describe them. a little startling and harsh to the unprepared eye but definitely fascinating. maybe it was just that child-like wonder and naivety that got her into so much trouble with society that was making her think that but body modifications of any type especially to this extent were just great fun to look at. then again that could just be her art and fashion background as well, making her want to appreciate everything that the eye took in. that was the thing about her - superficial or not, she couldn't deny a piece of art when she saw it. maybe people thought her too stupid to be able to appreciate culture but her right and left brain were in no way connected. if diana mason understood anything at all it was art, so knowing people could give maddox looks of horror or disgust for his was a little unnerving.
"well i think they're fascinating," she said with certainty, as if that was the only thing in the world that mattered. and in a way, it sort of was to her. why should she care what other people had to say about maddox's tattoos? it was her appearance and how she came off to people that mattered in her mind; not the people she was seen talking to. besides that, maddox was a model and a model that appealed to a wide range at that. if people wanted to judge her for finding interest in someone so pertinent to her work, then maybe she wasn't the dumb one after all. "the whole aspect of it. if we're being honest, i've never step foot in a tattoo parlor before in my life. i don't even know how any of that works, getting the design...i mean you can't mess up with a tattoo, right? it's not like a drawing. there's no needle eraser or whatever." she surveyed his face. "how does it feel? do you even notice it?" she chuckled. "sorry if i'm being nosy. i've just never really met someone with so many tattoos."
[/left] LIV/MADDOX, outfit, (:
MISSING by EVANESCENCE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0 [/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by maddox makena starr on Mar 26, 2012 11:59:50 GMT -5
Maddox couldn't help the smile that spread on his lips when she again stated that she found them fascinating, and he could tell, because he could feel the presence of her hand so close to his skin, sure, she wasn't actually touching him, but her hand was close enough to where he could feel the slight heat radiating off her hand against his skin. "You know, if you want to trace them, or see what they'd feel like, you can, I wouldn't much mind you touching my arm for a moment." he said, there was a bit of amusement in his voice actually, but there was no mocking or suggestion that there would be anything more to it than her touching the tattoos because she found them fascinating. He was in no state of mind where being suggestive was even close to the surface. In fact, he wasn't the suggestive kind of guy at all really, of course he had some classic male urges at times, but the fact was that he wasn't actually sexually active. The act of sleeping with someone didn't much appeal to him, mostly because of the experiences with his parents, it just seemed, uncomfortable to him.
Not to mention the fact that not a whole lot of girls found him very attractive anymore. Not many looked behind the tattoos to see who he was underneath the cover. If he was going to be honest with himself though, he kind of liked her fascination with the tattoos and didn't much mind the questions that came with it, after all it wasn't very often he got to talk about the technical side of tattoos or even the meaning behind his, and it was refreshing. He shifted his legs around ever so slightly to get more comfortable and then uncovered his eyes for a moment to look her in the eyes. "I really don't mind your questions. It's a bit refreshing to have someone be fascinated enough to ask instead of just making assumptions and going about their business" he said honestly. There was still pain in his eyes, but there was also a look of honesty and appreciation, as well as true friendliness.
Placing his arm over his eyes again, opening them had made his headache flare again, he let out a soft laugh at her comment about a needle eraser. It wasn't a mocking laugh, or even one that seemed to think her stupid, it was just an amused sort of laugh. "Yeah I guess the whole concept can seem a bit strange if you haven't really had to deal with it on your own huh?" he stated, it wasn't really meant to be a question, more of a telling of facts. "But you're right of course, there is no needle eraser, if there's a mistake made, there is nothing you can do aside from incorporating it into the design or covering the mistake with something else." he said and shrugged a little, which looked kind of weird with the position he was in on the floor. "Basically, if you want to know the story about my designs that is, mine started off with me having some idea of what I wanted." he began, diving into story telling mode and for the time being almost forgetting about the pain he still felt.
"I went into the tattoo parlor and talked to a few of the people working there. We had a lengthy discussion about it, looked at anatomy books, some zombie pictures, and more anatomy books, then they all started sketching out suggestions and we discussed it more once they were done, then did more designs and sketches." he took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh as his head decided to throb a bit more insistently for a moment before he moved on. "Once we had a general design finished, I pretty much undressed and they started using me as a piece of paper. See what is done at first is to just draw on the skin with a sort of special pen. It's not permanent, but it'll stick to the skin as the work is being done. Then once they had it all sketched out, mostly the outline of things, we looked it over and tried to decide if we were happy about the way it looked." he seemed to be quite content talking about the tattoos and the way the process worked.
"Once we were happy with the sketches and outlines on my body, they got to work, at some point I had three people drawing outlines on me at once. You see, tattooing takes a lot of time and to get all the outlines done in one sitting, well it was needed to use a lot of people. I'm not going to lie, some of it hurt pretty bad, especially around the sites with thinner skin, like under the arms, the and the under side of the upper arm and over the ribs. Of course the face wasn't the most pleasant part either, nor was the top of my head" he seemed very thoughtful as he spoke as if he was back at the tattoo parlor. "The first sitting to get all the outlines done took us about ten hours. With a break for some food and smokes of course. Then from there I would go in at regular intervals and get the rest of it done, the filling in and the shading. I don't really know how many hours it took, but let's just say it took a very long time to get it all finished. It was in the time frame of about a year and a half or so." there was a smile on his face that clearly stated he loved his tattoos.
Another laugh left him as she asked if he felt them and if he noticed them. "Well, you sure feel them when you're getting it done and some of it hurts pretty badly as I said, but no I don't feel them now, and I don't notice them on a daily basis. Well that is unless I look at them of course, in which case I notice them quite well." he said, once more lifting his arm so he could look at her. "Did that clear some of the questions up? I mean if not I really don't mind that you ask. If you ask something I don't want to reply to, I'll just leave that answer out." he was actually quite enjoying the conversation and found that he'd talked more in the last few moments than he normally did for an entire workday. It was nice to have someone talk to him and genuinely be interested in the tattoos. He didn't think she was faking her interest or that she was just being polite by saying she found them fascinating and he was usually a pretty good judge of character.
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Post by diana evelyn mason on Apr 7, 2012 17:21:13 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #C36241; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture-orange.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;]
please , PLEASE, FORGIVE ME, BUT I WON'T BE HOME AGAIN. MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL LOOK UP, AND BARELY CONSCIOUS, YOU'LL SAY TO NO ONE, "ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING?" YOU WON'T CRY FOR MY ABSENCE, I KNOW. YOU FORGOT ME LONG AGO. AM I SO UNIMPORTANT? AM I SO INSIGNIFICANT? ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING...? ISN'T SOMEONE . . . |
[/size][/div] missing me?
with his permission to touch the tattoos now, diana let her fingers make the final hairsbreadth journey to actually venture across his skin, tracing the tattoos on his arms with careful fingers. it was smooth - the same as touching somebody's arm, only she kept expecting the texture to change beneath her fingers as the patterns did on his flesh. but it never happened. she smiled slightly to herself as she traced the pattern up his arm, surveying the art closely and thinking to herself that tattoos really were strange. she expected it to feel different and even as she retraced the same pattern, it just amazed her that it looked so different from normal flesh but felt all the same. like it was some sort of magic trick even if it was just painted flesh. only it was beyond that because paint left a texture on skin as she knew all too well and this...well this was fascinating.
and as she listened to his story it just got all the more fascinating. honestly, she'd never understood why people got tattoos. she loved her body and she kept it meticulously clean and had a whole spa treatment that she put herself through at least once a week while at home and sometimes even went to an actual spa anyway just to keep up appearances. she was proud of her almost ever-tan skin and smooth complexion and worked hard to make sure that her body was as naturally beautiful as it could be. body modification just seemed strange to her and even piercing her ears was something that she had taken years to do just because she didn't quite see the need. she just felt that she was fine the way she was - that everyone was fine the way they were - and that tattoos, while sexy, were a little pointless.
but with the way maddox was describing it, she could find herself understanding why he did what he did. and it seemed like a beautiful process. something he had to be really dedicated to in order to finish judging by how long it took. and it did look very, very beautiful. she had to respect him for going through with it because after seeing all of it drawn out on herself, she didn't think she would. just all the pain and then of course having to adjust to the fact that it's permanent...well, she just didn't see herself ever getting into the right mindset for it. but maddox really seemed to enjoy his tattoos, as did some of the rest of the world obviously, and she figured that it was something that he loved and thus something he didn't regret and she had to respect that. they did look very nice anyway.
"sounds like a really...really long process," she commented pointing out the obvious and at long last pulling her fingers away from his arm. she smiled down at him, surveying his face, the tattoos there. "but really awesome as well. i've always wondered what happens when people get tattoos. i mean it never really clicked in my head before, ya know?" she tiled her head to the side, examining him. "i think that clears up all my questions, though. if i have anymore, i'm sure i'll just blurt them out anyway." and she would. now that she knew she wasn't going to get a patronizing answer that would make her feel ten times more stupid than she usually did. now that her questions about him were up though, she surveyed his face and rearranged her features into a look of concern. "how are you feeling, though? your head?"
[/left] LIV/MADDOX, outfit, (:
MISSING by EVANESCENCE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0 [/td][/tr][/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by maddox makena starr on Apr 13, 2012 5:32:18 GMT -5
As she told him what she thought of the tattooing process and the fact that she didn't have any more questions for now, he made an effort to keep his eyes open and looking at her, it was only polite after all, but it really didn't help his headache, even in the darkness of the room, his head throbbed while his eyes were open. "Yeah, it's a pretty long process and I guess you could say it takes some dedication to get it done when you're getting as much done as I was, but at the same time it didn't feel like much of a chore to me. I mean I enjoyed it, I wanted it, and I definitely don't regret it, though I need to get some of them re-colored as they're turning more gray than black." he said, the last comment was more for his own sake than it was for hers, but still at least he was doing a decent enough job at keeping the conversation up and it helped of course that she seemed genuinely interested in the tattoos and the reasoning behind them.
"Well if you think of anything else you'd like to say about them, just let me know." he said and smiled a little as her fingers left his arm, actually, it was weird. Normally physical contact made him massively uncomfortable and he'd expected the same to happen with her as well, but in fact, he'd rather enjoyed having her fingers tracing the patterns of the tattoos on his arms. It had felt nice, and well... comfortable. His head started throbbing really badly again though at this point and he lowered his arm over his eyes again. "Honestly? I've been better, but I think it's a bit better than it was" he said truthfully. He felt no need to lie to her and say he was fine, besides it was obvious enough that he wasn't, so she'd see right through it anyway. Again he shifted slightly, but the smile stayed on his lips. Despite the pain his head was getting him, this was pretty much the best day of work he'd had for a while. It wasn't often he met genuine people in this business.
"So, you've now heard my story, but I'm kind of curious about yours?" he said honestly, there was no mocking or even hostility, just curiosity. "It's not very often I meet someone so genuine whenever I'm at a shoot. I mean it's not like they don't all treat me well of course, but none of them usually seem to care about anything other than getting their shoot perfect." he continued and then chuckled a little. "In fact, they all seem to think I'll explode at any moment and tend to try to keep as much distance as they can, well except for the photographers who are always extremely fascinated at the possible images they could get" his voice was amused, it was clear he was used to that kind of treatment and that he had accepted it as part of life instead of getting worked up over it. He'd been through far worse things than having a few people staring at him after all.
"I mean, what brought you into a place like this? You seem so much more... pleasant and genuine than most" he asked, and it wasn't so much that he was criticizing the kind of people he normally met, it was more that he just didn't understand how people could be so face. "I'd think someone so genuine and nice wouldn't much like a place like this?" there, that was the bottom of the question, he didn't quite get why she liked her job, especially with the fact that she'd said the models she usually had to deal with were also less than nice. Wouldn't it be better for her to find a job where she would be appreciated and where people didn't think the most important thing in life was looking good at all costs and working their ass off to the point where they had no time to enjoy the things in life that made them happy? In a way, this was as confusing to him as his tattoos surely were to her.
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Post by diana evelyn mason on May 26, 2012 16:14:58 GMT -5
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #C36241; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture-orange.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;]
please , PLEASE, FORGIVE ME, BUT I WON'T BE HOME AGAIN. MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU'LL LOOK UP, AND BARELY CONSCIOUS, YOU'LL SAY TO NO ONE, "ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING?" YOU WON'T CRY FOR MY ABSENCE, I KNOW. YOU FORGOT ME LONG AGO. AM I SO UNIMPORTANT? AM I SO INSIGNIFICANT? ISN'T SOMETHING MISSING...? ISN'T SOMEONE . . . |
[/size][/div] missing me?
next to maddox, diana just felt so boring. of course, she knew that she wasn't. her life was one people envied a lot. she had everything handed to her. parents who were supportive, school she could breeze past so long as she stayed pretty and naive enough for teachers to get away with using, and of course a job pretty much handed to her because of who her father was in relation to the fashion industry. she was over-privileged and spoiled and spent a lot of her childhood being handed things on a silver platter. but that was the thing. though her life was envious, she felt that it was somewhat empty. like no one could really relate to her because they all had these experiences - things that made them want to do things like tattoo their entire bodies - and the most adventurous she'd ever gotten was skinny dipping at her friend's birthday party when she was nineteen.
so next to maddox she just felt so...plain. but she didn't focus on that. she instead focused on him saying that his headache was easing and while this pleased her it was sad to note that he was still feeling so bad. so she moved over to sit near his head, saying quietly, "okay this might hurt for a second," before gently lifting his head into her lap and placing two fingers on either side of his temples, massaging slowly. "just let me know if that's too much," she said quietly leaning in toward his face. "but my sister used to get these awful migraines. my mom always did this for her. i guess it's supposed to help." to be honest, she wasn't really sure. her sister had always seemed satisfied with it but that could have just been her basking in the comfort of their mother's attention. she had never really been sure.
however, she would continue the massage until maddox told her that yes, it was in fact a bit much and would she please stop that? but she'd never been good at locating boundaries so she figured...if it was going to help why not go for it? when the tables were turned and focus was suddenly on her though, she stopped to consider his question, massaging his temples slowly as she considered it. she never stopped to think about why she worked there. sure, her boss was a big meanie sometimes and she wasn't always treated with respect but she stayed anyway. she liked it. some people were just rude but she was used to rude people in her life. she never thought of the industry as being fake before, though, so it surprised her to hear maddox say such a thing. maybe it was just her being bad at picking up on people again. she didn't know. but she'd never felt unique in this sort of setting before.
"i don't know," she replied honestly, looking around the darkened room as if realizing for the first time that she was in a business setting. "i guess i never really thought about it that much." and it was the honest truth. going to work was just part of her schedule; she couldn't think of doing anything else. "i just really liked fashion growing up. my daddy's a lawyer and he helped out with some big names a lot and growing up, i've just always been involved somehow. they used to give me and my sister clothes to thank my dad, you know." she paused again. "i don't know. i like it. i do some modeling stuff too so i know how it works like on both ends and stuff, right? and it's what i know and if we're being honest, i don't pick up on learning new things fast." she chuckled quietly. "i guess i never thought of it as fake ever. i mean it's my job, all i've done since i was little. how can that be fake to me?"
[/left] LIV/MADDOX, outfit, (:
MISSING by EVANESCENCE
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