Post by michael on Mar 11, 2012 11:39:48 GMT -5
[atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding:0; margin: 0; background-image:url(http://i1029.photobucket.com/albums/y353/shockwavesyndrome/thisiswar.png);background-repeat:repeat-y;width: 450px;height:600px;] he was starting to get nervous. call it social anxiety or maybe just the fact that he was not used to getting stares like that unless someone had just lost a bet, but he could feel his heart beginning to pound more the longer that cerian lounged around. he knew it was wrong of him to want this guy to go. he knew it was probably very rude of him, especially since in all honesty he wouldn't mind having him around just to stare at. but that was exactly the reason why he needed to get rid of him. he couldn't get distracted. eventually someone else would need him or he'd figure out there was a special someone already in cerian's life that made him feel like a jerk for getting so flustered around him or his mouth would get the better of him again and start saying things far more embarrassing than just the fact that cerian was attractive and that wasn't what he wanted. he didn't mind going through a moment of seeing the attractive guy and being let live in happy infatuation until he completely vanished from his mind with time. so long as he didn't make a bigger fool of himself, he'd be fine. so part of him wanted cerian just to pack up his food and go. he wanted him to stop talking, stop opening that pretty little mouth of his, to just say something rude and offend him and to just...stop being attractive, stop being charming, stop being everything that michael could find himself staying attracted to when it was a very, very bad idea. he couldn't do that. he had worked so well in being able to keep his emotions and his attractions in check throughout the years and to just keep focus and he wasn't going to lose it now. or he didn't want to. it was just a set-up for disappointment and he didn't think he could really deal with it when the final downfall came to his attention. if he thought he could be friends with cerian, it'd be a different situation, but guys like him weren't friends with guys like cerian. there would be too many awkward moments and he'd slip up too much and it was just...too much. he didn't know how to be something worth cerian wasting his time on, even if in a strictly platonic manner. he didn't quite know how to 'do' friendship. "pretty sure it's safe," he smiled in spite of himself, chuckling quietly. "and quite good. and good for you. a wise choice, in my opinion. then again, i own the place, so you could be buying crap and i'd call it a wise decision." and he had to go and take it too far again. which is what he always did. talked a little too much. honestly, what had his father been thinking, sticking him in a job like this? he was much happier doing inventory and helping with loading and unloading cargo. there was very little interaction, it was quiet, it satisfied and soothed his mind, and things like this didn't happen. he didn't even have to see customers who could make him feel flustered. he did give him a grin, though, at the mention of seaweed and gestured for cerian to follow him. "it all depends on what you want," he explained as they walked down the aisles, his eyes scanning the shelves until at last the familiar packages caught his eye. "there's just plain nori which is what i usually have but that's because i usually eat it with things. rice. fish. most people preferred the seasoned ones. korean or japanese, though i recommend japanese just because it's less oily." he laughed. "i could seriously talk forever about seaweed embarrassingly enough so just tell me to shut up at any time." |