you are my only vice. [jonas]

[marilyn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 420px; border-top: #bd003e 8px solid; border-bottom: #bd003e 10px solid; background-color: #ffffff; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/24o0v2t.png);] [atrb=width,400] just dont let me go she was sobbing. the damn boy had come back into her life. she had spilled her guts through fucking... an im. he wanted to kill zane, and she was lost. stuck in her head wondering how the hell she was going to get out of this problem. she knew he didn't want her anymore. he said it himself he had moved on. she couldn't push herself onto him but she needed to see him. mare was off the computer and running to her infiniti. not only was it probably one in the morning, she was speeding so fast that everything was blurring, plus her tears were fucking up her vision. she barely needed to see to make it to his house though, and she didn't even need to look at the keypad lock on the backdoor to sneak in. she knew it by the feelings in her fuckin fingertips. within seconds she had stealthily maneuvered up the steps, past everyone's bedroom and into his. they were in their twenties and they still snuck around, or at least she did. she just needed to slip into his bed with him. mare found him. she stared at him for a good minute before taking off her jeans and her teeshirt, getting into just her bra and panties. she didn't want so be anything more than cuddling but at much of his skin touching her was what she wanted. "hi." she said as she touched his bed before crawling in. tag: name word count: ### outfit: link notes: a few brief words.

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[jonas]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

by some strange phenoma, jonas had been reunited with his ex-girlfriend by way of a chat room. a chat room. when did that ever happen in real life? after three, almost four, years of not talking, jonas had run into marilyn through freaking instant messager. it was hard to believe it could actually happen, of course, and maybe it was a little hard to register once he had established the fact that he was actually talking to marilyn nicole fakas, his ex-girlfriend and ex-love-of-his-life, but whether it was a good thing or a bad thing was still unclear to the twenty three year old. not that he didn't miss her, because he certainly did, but because he never thought he'd ever have to face her again. he thought that for the rest of his life, he'd remain missing her. he'd already accepted the fact that marilyn and he were over and that there was a one in a million chance that they'd ever even have another chance at a friendship, nonetheless a relationship.

when he had told her to come over, though? that's what really shocked him the most. what in the hell had he just done? he didn't want to see marilyn. he didn't want to look at her, face to face, and he didn't want to talk to her, face to face. he didn't even want to think about her, but at this point, that seemed impossible. at this point, both of the former seemed impossible as well, because she said ok. ok, which meant, okay, i'll come over which really meant get ready for a rollercoaster ride, jonas. he had been given a good twenty or thirty minutes of time in between when she signed offline and when she apparently arrived at his home. he didn't worry about unlocking the back or front door, because he knew she knew the way in and he was almost positive that his parents hadn't changed the locks or passcodes since they were teenagers.

before long, jonas could hear her delicate footsteps down the hall, making haste to get to his room. within only a couple of minutes, she had arrived at her destination- his room- and for a good minute, there was what seemed to be a staring contest between the two of them. jonas was already in just sweatpants- with boxers underneath, obviously- so he wasn't worried about his attire. marilyn had stripped down to nothing but her underwear, and while jonas did think of this as a bit of a ballsy move, he didn't worry about it. hi, she said and didn't hesitate crawl into his bed. hey, was his only reply, tense as she joined him.

GABBY AS MARILYN,without the shoes duh, <3

[marilyn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 420px; border-top: #bd003e 8px solid; border-bottom: #bd003e 10px solid; background-color: #ffffff; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/24o0v2t.png);] [atrb=width,400] just dont let me go it was alomst instinct to just crawl onto his huge bed and find her way under the comforter. although she was crawling towards him she stopped short of grabbing the blanket and beginning to pull it so she could get in. she just looked at him again, wondering what statistic could be compared to this moment? possibly winning the biggest lottery in the history of all mega millions? who knew. she couldn't even think straight. the fact that she was looking at him in person was enough to make her believe that anything was possible. though having stayed in the position she was in, on her knees and her hands she got goosebumps. the air that was drafting through the window played against her skin and she felt them grow. mare got under the comforter, not getting close to him as fast as she had hoped she was going to be able to get to him. she couldn't stop asking herself how?. marilyn sighed, "i missed you." she slowly moved closer, her legs finding their way to touch his and the rest of her body moving closer. she had waited for this moment since she had gotten on that plane to europe, and she wasn't letting up. her hand found his, entwining his fingers in hers she fell back onto his pillow, still not as close as she wanted but she wasn't going to mess this up too much. tag: name word count: ### outfit: link notes: a few brief words.

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[jonas]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

this all was natural for jonas. it was like old times, like it was years ago when they were together, when they were just kids and in high school and they didn't know what love actually was. this was a second language for him- being like this with marilyn, being that close, and having so much potential to possibly become intimate with her. of course, at this point, becoming intimate with marilyn would be wrong. she was his ex-girlfriend and while there was no law against having relations with your exes, this ex was different. jonas didn't know how he felt about marilyn. he knew he still loved her, though. however, he didn't know if he'd ever look at her the same way. no, he knew he'd never look at her the same way, ever again. why? because she left him. she abandoned him. she picked up and left, across an entire ocean, for europe. for european boys, for a european culture, for a european school. before they graduated, five years ago, jonas had all intentions on spending his life with her, starting a family after they graduated college, and having a life like his parents had, but that didn't happen. instead she left, she abandoned him, and she threw jonas away, like he was just practice and she was leaving to take on the big challenges. like he was expired and she wanted freshness in her life. however, he did love her, which made his feelings for her garbled. he didn't know what he wanted, he didn't know what he felt, and that's why this was all wrong, as natural as it was.

yet he didn't care. he had, after all, been the one to invite her over. even though jonas had been getting the feeling that that was what she was inching towards, he'd been the one to ask her to join him at his parent's house. he couldn't really blame this visit on anyone but himself, which was why he wasn't pushing marilyn away, even though he knew that he should have been. he had, after all, told her that all he wanted to do was talk. he should have scoulded her the minute she had started stripping down to almost nothing, he should have told her to stop and reclothe, because they weren't together. they weren't an item, not a couple, not in a relationship, and they hadn't been for years. they certainly were not about to have sex. they hadn't even seen each other for years, which should have immediately put jonas' guard up... but it didn't, because this was marilyn nicole fakas, the once love of his life. he finally felt her bare legs touch his body and he immediately became tense again, but he didn't try to fight what she was doing. he didn't know why he wasn't because he knew he should have been, but he wasn't. he was allowing it to happen. i missed you. what was he supposed to say back? that he had missed her? he had missed her, but he was content with just that- missing her. he didn't necessarily want to stop. yeah. me too. he mumbled, feeling chills run down his bare torso.

GABBY AS MARILYN,without the shoes duh, <3

[marilyn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 420px; border-top: #bd003e 8px solid; border-bottom: #bd003e 10px solid; background-color: #ffffff; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/24o0v2t.png);] [atrb=width,400] just dont let me go the day that marilyn got her letter from cambridge college she nearly peed herself. she ran through her house screaming "I GOT IN! she showed every maid, and every gardener, she was too happy and excited for words. she was so happy she cried, and called her father who was already in europe and her mother who was out with her friends. marilyn didn't tell jonas at that time, though. it took her a long time to come to the realization that she was going to be thousands of miles from him. no way in hell was she expecting good to come from this, and after that whole event was over and she was left with the pain of leaving jonas she was depressed as hell. at that time she wasn't on drugs, and she was barely ever getting drunk. she was such a good girl, which was a reason, that she knew, why jonas had fallen in love with her. marilyn wasn't the typical rich party girl, though she desired to go to europe and party harder than anyone she knew here. she remembered telling him that she was leaving. remembered the trail her tears took as they fell from her eyes. she remember looking at him and the look he gave her back. it was the hardest thing to leave. they practically lived with each other between each other's houses. their parents were and are still friends, and they never had a problem with the kids sleeping over each others houses. half of marilyn's wardrobe was at his house, and she had half of his as well. then they broke up and he had to get his things. she had to get hers, and pack them up. marilyn wanted him to stop her, she wanted him to show up at the airport and just drag her back home. but she wanted europe. she wanted to go gallivanting around the countries in that part of the world. make her way to australia a few times. run the london streets. it was just calling her, and she couldn't say no. jonas wanted to stay home, wanted to stay in their hometown, wanted to make a family, and marilyn couldn't say she didn't want that. but at the same time she could say that. she wanted to bear jonas' children, and she wanted nothing more than to have the brantley name. marilyn's father wanted to move his empire of hotels and business to jonas, she overheard her father speaking of it once with jonas' father. they were pretty much handing down both businesses to jonas and marilyn. they would be the richest people in the world, and there was no way in hell they were going to let anything break up their children. then that letter came in the mail. so now she was staring at jonas, this human being who was so familiar yet so foreign. she wasn't used to this tension. this feeling that she couldn't have him, though she wanted him, though she didn't. she didn't know what she was doing, and she didn't know how to handle this. marilyn sighed, letting go of his hand and pulling her legs away from him. she curled up in a ball facing away from him. "i can't believe i did this to us." she said, practically taking the blame. she actually was taking the blame, and she couldn't take back the years. the time it took for him to change. the time it took for him to let his love fade. it was always there on her side. she loved him now like she did years ago. tag: name word count: ### outfit: link notes: a few brief words.

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[jonas]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

i can't believe i did this to us. then silence. jonas didn't dare say a word in response to that comment, because he knew it would come out harsh, more cruel than he would have wanted it to be. it wouldn't sound like something two reuniting lovers would say to each other, it would sound like something that two people would say going their separate ways. something like maybe it was for the best or we're just different people- something cliche and corny like that, with a hint of hatred, because jonas did feel that way towards marilyn sometimes. he could hate her so much and at the same time, he could love her more than he loved himself, which was saying something as they hadn't seen in each other in over four years. it was because of what she had done, too. he had such a high dislike for her because of what did to them and as much as she said that he was at fault, too, he wasn't. he didn't make the decision to leave, he didn't decide that he was no longer happy being stuck in plain ole' connecticut, bored in a relationship with, and had a desire for the bigger and better things that came with europe. she used the you didn't chase me excuse on him and all he could say to that was that he wanted her happy. he was looking out for her emotions, her feelings, her desires, not what he wanted, not what made him happy, and not his own emotions. could she honestly tell him that she would have had it that way? could she honestly say that she would rather a relationship with him than to be a jetsetter? he honestly didn't think she could.

he could remember the day just like it was yesterday. it was still vivid in his mind, engraved there forever so he'd always have it has a reminder to the day that he lost the thing in his world that mattered the most to him. he'd lost his other half that day, he'd practically lost his entire heart to her, and he'd never stop blaming her for it. however, he couldn't say that he could ever stop loving her, because she was his first love. jonas had told her that his love had faded, but it was a lie- a cold, cruel lie. he had planned a life with her- how many kids, what their dog's name would be, what ther careers would have been together, where they would let their children grow up. obviously, he had loved her more than life itself, which was why, no matter how hard he tried, stopping the flow of love for her was impossible. even though it might have sounded like a good thing, it wasn't. it meant that he was stuck with that baggage. he'd always have that weight on his shoulders. he didn't want to love her anymore.

don't blame yourself, mare. we make mistakes, he shrugged, although it's not like she could have seen. she was in a ball a couple of inches away from him and he still used the headboard of his bed for support of his back and head, legs straight in front of him, and hands limp at either of his sides. he rolled the back of his head on the headboard as much as he needed to to see her, though, and from the corners of his eyes, he observed her for a good two minutes or so. she looked so vulnerable and innocent, like she could do no damage, and although he knew that wasn't true, he believed it for a couple of short seconds. reaching with the hand closest to her, he placed it on top of her hip bone, which was still as bony as he remembered it. mare, look at me, he said, his voice soft this time, without a trace of tension as it had before.

GABBY AS MARILYN,without the shoes duh, <3

[marilyn]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 420px; border-top: #bd003e 8px solid; border-bottom: #bd003e 10px solid; background-color: #ffffff; background-image: url(http://i739.photobucket.com/albums/xx40/tippykazoo/Caution/24o0v2t.png);] [atrb=width,400] just dont let me go marilyn was laying there listening to his breathing, to the familiar clock ticks on the wall. the occasional creak and at one point she heard a door open then close, but she knew if anyone found her in his bed they would probably be more happy than mad, and the fact that if he had moped around and told his parents how much he hated her they would kick her out in that scenario. but, really, she had no idea what would happen tonight. she knew he practically hated her, the thoughts of what he could have heard and probably seen in photographs, especially on the front of magazines as 'Europe's Biggest Hotel Owner's Daughter Running Rampant Through London'. marilyn didn't know how much he hated her, all she knew is that as she was pulled away from him she knew it probably wasn't going to end well. as she heard him move and say, we make mistakes she sighed. she just sighed in response because it was just so true. it was like everything she had ever done in her life was just one big mistake, and the only good thing she had had was jonas and she did him wrong by leaving him. now, she is like a rebel child in that stance where she won't be taking back her europe trip, and she won't take back what she did in europe, but it is like time was cut. she wished that it would go from the day before she told jonas she was leaving to this point now, and there was no hurt and time and pain in between. she knew that wasn't able to happen, since she was thinking realistically sometimes, but she still wished she could cry and have a fairy godmother come save her. not realizing that there were tears streaming down her face and onto the pillow, when he touched her she couldn't help but let them stream even more. marilyn honestly couldn't take this anymore. she was laying there and his hand on her hip for the five seconds before he spoke felt like the past five years it was there. mare didn't want to look at him, didn't want to show him her weaknesses as she lay there silently sobbing as she was staring at the wall. mare, look at me, and with that she turned around, completely open to scrutiny when he looked at her, she didn't care. she couldn't hide anymore. the pain she was feeling was too overwhelming. her whole body turning over as she staying the the same curled up ball except looking at him, now. "what?" she said in a whisper and she looked down, her eyes looking up to see his. they were red and puffy and she didn't know how he could love someone like her. as she kept that thought running through her head not only was she asking herself, "you never even fucking deserved a guy like him... he was so good to you and you completely ruined his life. now he hates you and you are never going to get him back. so good job you fucking whore." she couldn't help but keep crying as she was stating all those truths through her head. "i know you hate me, i know it. i'm sorry. please, jonas please just if you are going to eventually just kick me out cause you hate me so much now, just... just do it. i can't take it anymore. i know i ruined your life and did everything i shouldn't have done. but im sorry. i am just so sorry..." by this time her voice was trailing and her tears were more and more. she pushed upwards with her arm, and sat indian style for a minute before pulling her legs up and putting her head on her knees. marilyn was so vulnerable, and all she wanted was her clothes back on. but she kept there. she didn't move, she waited for him to kick her out, or to do whatever. it was like whatever he told her to do she did. but it wasn't in a weird like, abusive way. she did it because no matter what he asked of her, just like when he said to look at him, she would do it. she just loved him too much. marilyn loves him more than she loves herself. tag: name word count: ### outfit: link notes: a few brief words.

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[jonas]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

marilyn rolled over onto her other side. although still curled into a ball, which made jonas still think of her as a much more innocent, vulnerable marilyn, she was at least facing him. however, when she turned over, she revealed the redness cheeks from all of the sobbing, the tear stains upon her face, the swollenness of her still beautiful features from all of the crying, and the sadness that was clear from her eyes and the absence of her everlasting, happy grin. it hurt to see marilyn like that, but there was nothing that jonas could honestly say or do. of course he loved her, of course he missed her, and of course he would have done anything in his power to win her back four years ago, but that meant that he was ruining her happiness. if he had done thought, he would have been selfish and although it was all the more selfish of her to just pick up and leave- to just destroy their relationship with no input from his side, to pull all the strings without enough consideration of jonas' feelings- jonas wasn't a selfish person. he was thoughtful, considerate, and most of the time, put others' feelings before his own. thats what he had done when marilyn left and moved to europe. he didn't stop her because he knew that it would make her happy, so he didn't hold her back, even if that had meant losing his relationship with the woman he loved more than life itself.

so, yeah, of course it hurt to see her this way. it hurt more than he could say, but there was no way in hell that he was going to take the blame. this wasn't his fault and although he had invited her over, he didn't encourage her to strip down to practically nothing, he hadn't said a word that would have possibly given her the motivation to start bawling, and as he recalled even further, there was nothing that he had honestly done to make her so upset. then again, maybe it was just being in the prescence of her ex-boyfriend. maybe it was just the intimidation that was added when you saw your ex-lover. what? she murmured and after that, there was only silence. jonas didn't know how to respond, because of the truth of the matter was, he didn't know what he wanted to say to her.

after the moment of silence that had losted more than a couple short minutes, marilyn switched her position to sitting up, knees tucked in towards her torso, head tucked into her knees. once again, it hurt to see marilyn so miserable, especially knowing there wasn't much that he could do to fix her. i know you hate me, i know it. i'm sorry. please, jonas please just if you are going to eventually just kick me out cause you hate me so much now, just... just do it. i can't take it anymore. i know i ruined your life and did everything i shouldn't have done. but im sorry. i am just so sorry... the words that came pouring out of her mouth hurt just as much as her appearance did. hate her? kick her out? where in the hell was he getting this from? he obviously didn't hate her and he was the one to invite her over- why would he do that just to go and kick her out, tell her that he hated her guts, and never look back?

jonas, leaning forward for a few quick seconds, pulled marilyn towards her, uncrumpling her from her previous position. leaning into his own previous situation on the headboard, he kept marilyn close to his torso with one of his muscled arms. i don't hate you, he said, reaching for the comforter sprawled across the bed and pulled it on top of them. and i definitiely don't hate you. i just... i mean... mare, you left and... and i can't just be okay with that. but i could never in a million years hate you, he added, trying his best not to tighten the hold that he had of her around her shoulders.

GABBY AS MARILYN,without the shoes duh, <3