TAKE A BITE OF MY HEART, ANNIKA/ALEX

[sparta]

HERE WE GO AGAIN, I FEEL THE CHEMICALS KICKING IN, IT'S GETTING HEAVY AND I WANT TO RUN AD HIDE, I WANT TO RUN AND HIDE, I DO IT EVERY TIME, YOUI'RE KILLING ME NOW, AND I WON'T BE DENIED BY YOU

the animal inside of you

the transition from los angeles, california back to boring, old hartford connecticut had definitely not been the easiest of transitions. in fact, it had been difficult, to say the least. he had been through several withdrawals, including missing his old friends that he had left behind in california, his old job back back in california, his reputation that he had gained over time in his old home, and just the state in general. california and connecticut were not alike- not in the least bit. california was crowded, fun, sunny, and there was always a party going on somewhere. connecticut... connecticut was boring. it seemed like nothing exciting ever happened, like it was the same thing day after day. everything was plain, dull, and nothing was ever new, it felt like. it was the same routine, over and over again. he felt... well, alone is the word. sure, he had audio, austin, jacob, and his brothers. he had his parents in hartford and his sister and archer. still, though, he was lonely. he felt plain in connecticut, normal like everyone else. this town didn't give him that special feeling like los angeles had. he was sure that he'd get used to the feeling eventually, though. if he was going to be living in hartford, he would have to. it felt like everything had changed, though, after the four, five, maybe even six years he had been gone, living the fast life in california. he'd have to get used to being the lame sparta koufidakis he was before he left. no more badass, big-man-on-campus alex koufidakis.

connecticut wasn't all bad, though. he had at least gotten a job like the one he had in california, although it wasn't the exact same thing. in california, he had been coaching a high school varsity football team. true, a college varsity team was a little better, but he wasn't exactly a coach here. he was more like the coach's assisstant that was only in charge when the real coaches were too busy to be in charge. it wasn't as glamorous as his job in los angeles, but it was still something and it was still revolved around football, so he couldn't complain too much.

being any sort of coach or employee at the college, though, meant that he had certain dutys to fulfill if he was going to get a paycheck. one of those duties was supervising the motivational speeches and lectures that came around every now and then. after all, they were college students and college students weren't always the most behaved people. although it sure was a boring job, it was something to do and he got paid for it, nonetheless. however, this motivational speaker wasn't all that bad, to be completely honest. he had known holly, the guest today, through her older brother, jacob, since alex and jake were both freshmen in high school together. she was a lovely girl and apparently very talented when it came to public speaking. the speech wasn't too boring at all. in fact, there were some parts that alex really enjoyed. he still zoned out every now and then or would participate in the small talk that the coaches that he stood by had started.

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CLOTHES, RENEE AS ANNIKA, YAYAYA, © HANNAH

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[annika kendall del rosa]

annika loved to see holland at work. honestly, she did. holly didn't often talk about her past outside of these seminars - the abuse that she suffered, the way she overcame it, the general story that a phoenix rises from the ashes and blah blah blah bullshit. it was all stuff she'd heard before if she was being completely honest, all things that she had experienced before with her own family, but to hear holly speak of it was always an experience. her friend was a brilliant orator and though ani honestly detested hearing about abuse when she had been so much a part of it herself (it was how the pair had met; she'd fled her first seminar so quickly that holly couldn't avoid going after her and bringing her back to speak to her) she could listen to holly talk for hours. she never seemed to really dwell on the topic. it was more about inspiration; not so much about sob stories.

and she'd gotten numb to hearing the sob stories portions after hearing the speech so many times. after a while, when it was no longer required for her to attend, she just started tagging along with her friend to speeches to hang out between lectures if she had nothing better to do during the day, such as attend a class. which she didn't that day and it was how she found herself lounging around to the side of the lecture platform watching her friend speaking attentively and occasionally looking out at the crowd to see how well they received her. per usual a few people were fucking around, ignoring her, generally just sitting through the lecture because it was something a friend had dragged them to but the majority of people there were paying rapt attention. holly did that; she just got up on stage and commanded attention in the sweetest way possible. and people gave it to her. it was one reason annika had treasured her as a friend, allowed her into her life. she had power; even if it was just the power of charisma.

after the lecture was over and people filed out, ani felt it safe to join her friend on the platform, helping her pick up note and cue cards and casting her a smile to tell her she'd done a good job. she always found it hard to speak after holly; like somehow the oration gods from beyond the stars would smite her down if she dared uttered a word. thankfully for her, though, holland had long since picked up on her non-verbals and so her attention was easily stolen again but someone that her friend had spotted in the audience and she gestured for annika to follow her as she left the platform and made her way over to a group of men. somehow, ani wasn't surprised though not for the reasons people might think - holland had a large group of male friends but there was always a reason for that and it had nothing to do with her friend. it had more to do with her older brother.

"alexxx," she heard her friend coo as she approached one of the men in the group specifically, one of the younger ones, rather good-looking aesthetically speaking with facial hair annika felt the compulsive need to tell him he could barely pull off. but she kept her mouth shut and allowed her friend to purr her hellos and her greetings and her "hi how are you"s to everyone around them and offered up her own little smile when attention turned on her. but honestly she had no desire to speak up to these men. as far as she was concerned, they held no importance to her, wouldn't hold any importance to her, and holly was just taking the chance as always to be as social as physically possible. but the other men soon dispersed and only the one holly had called out as alex remained behind. it was only when it was just the three of them that holly seemed to remember annika didn't know who they were speaking to and she quickly remarked, "oh right, stupid me. annika, this is alex koufidakis, he's a friend of mine and jake's from way back. and alex, this is annika del rosa, a current friend of mine and jake's." ani gave him a tight smile and said a quick, "'sup?" before planning on falling back into her silent bubble until holly was done.

but then her friend's cell phone went off (ac/dc's familiar "highway to hell" which indicated it was either jake or someone on the same tier of importance as jake) and she quickly excused herself to answer it, saying quickly, "i'll be right back. socialize amongst yourselves," and giving them both a wide grin before walking away and answering her cell phone. eyes widening slightly at the realization that she had just been dumped with a stranger, annika turned back to alex and awkwardly hooked her thumbs in the front pocket of her jeans. "so," she said simply, bouncing up slightly on her toes before falling back flat-footed. "uhm. holly's seminar. it was..." she trailed off, adding, "interesting," quietly before biting the inside of her cheek. socialization honestly wasn't her strong point.

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