(IT'S THE BITCH OF LIVING ASKING WHAT WENT WRONG)

[jagger owen wilson]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g79/Juliart/background_black.jpg');,true][cs=2] L E A D S T O N O W H E R E

[atrb=width,240] jagger had three rules - no stupid designs, no disney tattoos, and no whiners. that was it. three very very simple rules that he hoped to god people would try to abide by when asking for him to do their tattoos. three simple rules that really were not very hard to figure out. you didn't ask him to do a stupid design that a three year old could do with a ball point pen, you didn't ask him to do anything disney as he hadn't watched a disney movie since cate died, and you most certainly did not whine while he was in the middle of the tattoo. some people hissed in pain, some of the weaker ones let a few tears go, and he'd had a few ask him to stop in the middle, but he had never, ever tolerated one who whined. he always passed them off to someone else, in the middle of a design or not, and let them take care of it. because this was his art and he wasn't going to sit around listening to someone bitch about it while he slaved away trying to make it good as physically possible considering he hated them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. but of course, there was always that moron that liked to ignore these rules. always that moron who went up and asked for a stupidly designed disney tattoo and gave the impression that they would bitch through the whole thing. and it was people like this that made jagger so, so happy that he had co-workers. honestly, it was a miracle he hadn't punched a customer in the face yet. no one would put it past him. he was a guy who wasn't exactly known for giving out hugs and kisses but instead black eyes and broken bones. it was just the way he was anymore. the way he'd been for years. he just...he didn't do kindness very well and it was much more common to hear him raging about a customer in the back of the shop than it was to hear him say something nice. he always found something to complain about. the tattoo design. color choice. where they wanted it. how long it would take. how reluctant they seemed to part with money. the complaints about his rate. sometimes, he even went on for thirty straight minutes just about how ugly the customer was and how he didn't want to be staring at them for the next two and a half hours while he attempted to get the outline of a dragon around their shoulder and down their back. because even their back and their shoulder was ugly and he would not stand for it damn it. but of course, he did. unless of course they broke one of his rules. then he left for a smoke or for a jog and came back about half an hour later still peeved but having burned off a little bit of steam. that's what happened to him today. he'd had three people approach him in the hour he had been at work. one wanted a stupid design and he'd sent them to a girl who put up with these amateurs. another wanted a disney tattoo on their side and he nearly grabbed the poor thing by her hair to show her the rules. and he was half-way through a celtic knot-esque design on a woman's arm when she started whining about it stinging and he had walked away then and there to let somebody else take over. it wasn't professional; hell he knew he got docked pay every time he overreacted. but damn it, he had rules and when they hired him, these people knew that these were things they would have to abide by. maybe he was a little more temperamental than everyone else in the place but he was still an employee and they should still respect his wishes. he'd gone out for a jog and came back before the cold got to him. people these days. honestly. he settled back behind the counter in the front room of the shop, grabbing a random portfolio off the table in front of him. he worked with some talented people, he would admit, and he scanned each design with a small smile. it wasn't a particularly exciting day. not a lot of new people coming in and those who did come in looked like they'd piss him off and others hurried to their service before he could scare them off. whatever. he preferred it. he wouldn't make as much, sure, but the designs he did do would be worth it. and that was what mattered. kendall made enough money to support their small house, especially with some donations from their parents every month, and it wasn't like they had to pay for jason to go to college, bright thing that he was. his tattoos usually just bought gifts or nice dinners. he didn't need the money. but the satisfaction was what he wanted. he clicked his tongue as he heard the front door open and didn't look away from the portfolio he was going through before saying, "if your design is stupid, disney, or if you're a completely fag with pain, you're going to have to wait a minute. the patient artists are occupied."

[atrb=width,100] words , 8 9 6 words tagged , sami as addison ! notes , babies being wonderful and cute and oH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[INDIA MAEVE WILCOX]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD SET THEM FREE. OH IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY YOU WENT AND THREW IT AWAY. The Words: eight ninety The Outfit: here! The Notes she's got balls! a cough escaped from addison's throat as she slid open the door to the indoor barn. inside, she spotted her father and brother working with her younger sister, her brother sitting behind her as her father rode beside them and a smile crossed her face. she made her way closer to the rails, pulling herself up and perching herself on top. she watched her family ride and noticed her step-mother sitting further away, watching intently. a content sigh escaped her lips as she watched them for a while, quietly. addi knew her siblings had spotted her, but they didn't seem to care much, seeing as they continued riding. she eventually dropped down on the dirt and made her way towards them, a smile plastered across her face. she hadn't been home early the past couple of days and hadn't gotten much of a chance to see her little sister. naturally, she was more than ecstatic to see the little girl. even when addi was having the worst day possible, just seeing little stella made every bad thing go away and replaced addison's grouchy mood with a good one. the horses stopped in front of her and stella leaned down to addison to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek and addison couldn't help but laugh as she kissed her sister's forehead, asking if she had a good ride. their conversation was short-lived, but addison knew she had to get going soon. she had been talking herself into getting a third tattoo and she had finally decided on a design, which made her happy. this particular tattoo was dedicated to little stella and she decided on a blue and yellow nautical star with her sisters name along the top point. like so. it had taken her so long to chose the design, but she wanted something that would be important to her and to stella. she was quick to say hi to the remaining members of her family before dipping out of the arena. she made her way back up through the barn, pausing to say hi to her own horse, kissing him on the nose before she made her way up to the house. she loved the architecture of the modern stone house and the way it sat on top of a large hill overlooking the paddocks and the barn. she made it inside and ran upstairs, throwing off layers of clothes as she ran towards her old bedroom. she quickly jumped into the shower and washed herself as fast as she could before she jumped back out. she put on the fresh change of clothes that she had brought with her for her overnight stay at the family home. she loved living at home, but she enjoyed her own house better. the privacy was better and it had two extra rooms so that she could babysit stella or accommodate her brother whenever he felt like escaping the family home for a bit. addison bolted down the stairs after putting on her makeup and drying her hair and made her way into her car, starting it up. she was in love with her little hyundai sonata. it was jet black and was a very "addison-like" car, as her family told her. her teeth chattered as she drove, waiting for the heat to come in. she hated how cold she got after she took a shower. it finally began to warm up just as she pulled into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor closer to her own home. she had been trying to get the balls up to go in to get her previous tattoos done by someone she had known very well as a kid, but she simply never caught him at the right time. while her tattoos were created by another very talented artist, she had been waiting to see jagger. they grew up together. she loved him. he loved her best friend, then they drifted. addison had heard he was working today and she crossed her finger and prayed for a split second before forcing herself to get out of the car. as she pulled open the door, there he was behind the counter, barely bothering to look up at her. "if your design is stupid, disney, or if you're a completely fag with pain, you're going to have to wait a minute. the patient artists are occupied." his words were sharp and she couldn't help but raise and eyebrow, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. "that's odd. last i recalled, you had all the patience in the world," she teased sarcastically, rolling her eyes. she leaned against the counter and lightly tapped her fingers on the portfolio he was looking at, a small smirk on her face. "remember me, stranger?" she added quietly. her brown eyes were gentle and her body language showed that she was extremely confident, yet on the inside, addison though she was going to hurl. this was the boy she spent her entire childhood chasing after and he fell in love with someone else. she bit her lip, nervous of what he would say to her or if he'd even remember her existence in his life. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[jagger owen wilson]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g79/Juliart/background_black.jpg');,true][cs=2] L E A D S T O N O W H E R E

[atrb=width,240] jagger wasn't jumpy. it was a well-known fact in his family that the jumpy, scared-as-shit person was jason, who honestly jumped at his own shadow for reasons that no one else was actually sure of. in fact, if they had to pick one of the braver people in their family, it would be him. he never jumped, never got frazzled, never found himself rendered speechless, and it was a miracle if you ever got jagger wilson to be afraid. it just wasn't in his blood; it wasn't something that happened and never had been. it was a bit disappointing, as he sometimes missed the shot of adrenaline to his body, the feeling of power and energy coursing through his veins as he tried to run from a problem much bigger than himself. but he'd grown so numb through the years that it was hard to remember what that was like anymore. that was how rarely he actually got scared by....well, by anything. but when he heard addison's voice, saw her fingers, looked up into that familiar, beautiful face, he nearly fell off the stool he was sitting on in shock. his heart pounded inside his chest. no. way. there was no way, absolutely no way in hell that addi could be there. it was just wasn't possible. he had lost her ages ago, years ago, when they grew apart as he and cate grew closer. he hadn't seen her since...shit since they were still in school, still kids really, untouched by the corruption of the world and ideas of death and brutality and abuse far from the recesses of their minds. he thought for sure that when she hadn't been at cate's funeral or by his side when he honestly needed a friend more than anything...he thought by that point that he'd lost her for good, that their friendship was nothing but a happy memory. because they had been friends. back when jagger still found a use for them, they had been rather good friends actually. best friends. they'd grown up together, same as he'd grown up with cate. having her back...he frowned. it was like having a bit of his childhood back. and he didn't need that. he didn't. however beneath the annoyance and anger that was known anymore as his most neutral emotions, he could feel a little something else bubbling up. something light that sent a different sort of energy through his body than adrenaline did, something that made him feel like if he tried hard enough, he could probably manage a smile. something similar to joy, but that honestly couldn't be right because he hadn't felt joy since the funeral. in his confused, still shocked stupor, he heard himself mumble out, "holy shit." and that pretty much accurately summed up how he was feeling. holy shit indeed. what was he going to do now? he couldn't just....he couldn't just treat her like he did before. like a friend that he liked, a person he wanted to be around. it wasn't right. he didn't want friends; he didn't need friends. what he needed was for people he cared about that he thought were safe from who had become to stop coming back into his life for him to lose again. that was really what he needed. he was getting frustrated now, with himself more than anything. it shouldn't be so hard to greet an old friend. honestly it should be very simple. he'd say hello and ask how she's been and what she's been up to and she would respond and tell him and maybe she'd get a tattoo or maybe he'd just have to talk to her after work if a new customer came in but they could get into the flow of things. he could feel it; it wouldn't be hard. but he couldn't bring his mouth to form the words, couldn't bring his emotions to feel the warmth and the nostalgia. instead he just felt angry and annoyed and frustrated and scared more than anything because here was someone he once considered his best friend, someone he had written off as safe, someone he couldn't lose twice, and then there she was. and that was incredibly unfair. "it's been a while," he finally managed to say when his voice began to work with him instead of against him. he sounded wary, though, almost cautious, and silently cursed himself for becoming vulnerable enough for that to even be apparent. "a long, long while." he thought back to her comment about him having all the patience in the world and felt his lips purse. teasing or not, it wasn't really something he wanted to focus on, how he was in the past. "so long it seems your memory's getting a little shitty." which probably could have been taken as a joke if he didn't sound so serious. he bit the inside of his cheek. he couldn't do it; he couldn't look her in the eye and honestly say that he felt comfortable befriending her. not when it would crush him to lose her twice. he had to get rid of her. "what do you want? out of coming here, i mean. not exactly the prime location for socializing."

[atrb=width,100] words , 8 7 7 words tagged , sami as addison ! notes , he'll warm up to her once you give him time to stop being so freaked out (;

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[INDIA MAEVE WILCOX]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD SET THEM FREE. OH IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY YOU WENT AND THREW IT AWAY. The Words: 925 The Outfit: here! The Notes a;lskdjf c: <3 scaredy cat! addison chewed on her bottom lip, nervous for her life. of course he had to remember her, right? they were the best of friends and he protected her. but back then, things were so different. cate was still alive and addi watched as her two best friends fell in love while she slipped into the background and slowly disappeared from their lives. she tried so hard to be happy for them, knowing that it was what they wanted, but she couldn't. there was only so long she could keep a smile on her face and pretend like everything was fine and she extremely happy for them, but addison, in all honesty, hated it. she hated that she had fallen head over heels in love with jagger and she was slightly kicked to the curb when the two got together. she had been their third wheel for so long and she was tired of running home after school and crying herself to sleep or to the point where she couldn't breathe anymore. addison had taken their relationship to heart and she felt like the worse friend in all of entirety, but she couldn't control herself. she was fifteen. there wasn't a whole lot you could tell a fifteen year old to convince her that things would work out. addison felt guilt hanging over her head as she stood there in front of him. she hadn't been there for him when they were younger and he probably needed her. she deserted cate and jagger when they fell harder for each other and addison fell into the wrong crowd of people. she began trying drinking, she smoked, she started hooking up with guys just to rid of any pain she felt from the cate and jagger relationship. at the time, addison never really caught wind of what happened between the two and the funeral was never even brought up to her simply because most of her new friends knew about how angry it had made addison and how she didn't want to talk about it. when she graduated from high school and made it to college, only then did someone remind her about it and she was clueless. she had no idea that cate had died and addison felt even more guilty. she felt like in some way it was her fault for abandoning them and being so angry with the two of them. there was nothing addi could do however, the past was the past and like most things addison dealt with, she pushed it away and focused on her music. thoughts of jagger and cate never really crossed her mind ever again until she and her band mates had gone in to get matching tattoos. she had spotted jagger working on one of her friends, but she kept her head low and her mouth shut, terrified to approach him. she thought he had graduated and left town, rarely running into him. but now, here he was standing behind a counter in front of her and by the looks of it, he was just as surprised to see her as she was. holy shit. the words that escaped his mouth made her uneasy and she chuckled nervously. you're telling me. she thought to herself. god. everything about him was the same to addison and different at the same time. he was gorgeous, but there was something in his face that wrote him off as older than she last remembered him being. addison's stomach churned and she felt as though she should've just left right then and there. he didn't seem very interested...yet. so long it seems your memory's getting a little shitty. his words stung slightly, but addison hardly flinched. this was the part of jagger she vaguely remembered. his blunt comments, but she was immune to them by now. "I know...it's been like six years," she muttered quietly. she was humiliated and slightly angered when she said six years. that was so long to completely cut him off and she was starting to feel the guilt. "what do you want? out of coming here, i mean. not exactly the prime location for socializing." his words cut at her heart and she felt it drop as she stood there silently in front of him, her body becoming rigid. she was nervous as hell, but she didn't want to show him how weak she was just seeing him. she had spent all of her childhood falling for him and now here he was. she could only imagine how much he didn't want to see her. she slipped her hand into her back pocket and fished out the folded piece of paper with the tattoo design that she had drawn out and slid it across the counter to him, an eyebrow raised at him. "came for a tattoo, figured you'd be the best one for the job. or so they tell me," she replied smoothly. she set her hands back in her back pockets to help stop them from shaking. god, he made her so nervous. "i know it's not the most elaborate, outstanding thing, but i'm doing it for stella," she added. addi imagined he remembered stella if anything. though she was young, jagger was one of the first people addison brought home and stella seemed to like jagger, though she'd probably forgotten him by now, but addison remembered everything and those small details were what she clung onto. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[jagger owen wilson]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g79/Juliart/background_black.jpg');,true][cs=2] L E A D S T O N O W H E R E

[atrb=width,240] six years. jagger bit back his emotions, blinked away his pain and frustration at that particular statistic. six years since he'd last been around addison. five since cate and by extension their child had been killed. too soon, it seemed, to be reminded of a wound that still hadn't closed, too soon to hear that stupid figure thrown back at him. maybe in terms of how long it'd been since he'd talked to addison, six years was a long time but when it came to cate? five years wasn't nearly enough time to get over it. it still hurt like it happened yesterday and he felt his hands ball into fists even as his face remained stoic. the only comfort he got was in the knowledge that her bitch of a mom was rotting in jail but that honestly didn't tide him over as well as it had when she had first gotten arrested. he had had time to contemplate her sins and he decided her punishment was nearly horrible enough for what she did to her daughter, to her grandson or granddaughter, to her husband, and to him. five years. she'd only been gone for five. years. it physically pained him to think about, and he could feel resentment burning deep in his core at addison for bringing up the time period again. then he reminded himself that she couldn't know - most people didn't know how cate had died or for what, just that her mother had been arrested for involuntary manslaughter which made most of them think that it was just a negligent accident. but people didn't go to jail for life on negligent accidents. they didn't get put away for leaving a towel on the ground and having their daughter trip on it and die. they get put away for forcing an abortion. for rupturing organs and being inexperienced with any sort of sharp tool, for mutilating their daughters from the inside out for the sake of family pride. remembering it made him sick and if addison hadn't moved on to talk about actually getting a tattoo, he probably would have gotten up and just left again. he didn't want to think about how his girlfriend had died. he didn't want to remember anything about life six years ago. but then addison popped out the tattoo design and stella's name was brought up and he found that the twisting in his gut increased and left him nearly immobile. no, that wasn't fair game. she couldn't bring stella into this; jagger always had a weak spot for the girl. she always brought out a tenderness in him that he hadn't even tried to harness in years, and the ice surrounding his heart seemed to melt a little just looking down at the design. it was simple - not something he would classify under 'stupid' but definitely something he would have passed on to someone else if he didn't know the person asking him to do it for her. he stared down at the paper for a while longer, tracing the outline of the star lightly with his finger as his eyes read the words on the top edges over and over. stella elyse. he felt nauseous. another girl in his life he'd lost contact with due to time, though in a different way. a way that made him actually feel guilty. he sighed. "my rate is eighty an hour," he said, looking up at addison. "though i know you and it's for stella so i could probably dock it ten or twenty bucks if you promise not to tell any of the asskissers who like to report to the owner of this dump." he looked down at the design again. "it won't take too long, though the shading will take a little longer than the general outline and depending on your schedule, we can do this in two parts with the outline of the star and then her name and the next session we would cover the shading." he paused and looked up again. "is this the font you want? for her name. the thing's permanent as i'm forced to remind people so you have to be sure." he let out a breath. he could handle this like business as usual, right? right. he could...move on with this. talk to her like another customer. "you might have to schedule to come back in, though. i don't know if you found me in the best state to do my usual art."

[atrb=width,100] words , 7 5 4 words tagged , sami as addison ! notes , blah mainly business talk. D; it's a cover up though, since he doesn't really want to talk feelings~~

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[INDIA MAEVE WILCOX]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD SET THEM FREE. OH IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY YOU WENT AND THREW IT AWAY. The Words: 925 The Outfit: here! The Notes ewww. she's cute :3 she could see the look on his face after she said six years and even though he probably figured she didn't notice, she did. that was addison, taking note of everything and collecting it into a little folder in her mind that she could pull out and look at all the time. she felt awful for what she just said because now she had just reminded him of cate, she was sure. addison felt her stomach churn as her heart dropped and she bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from almost crying out an apology. she was pathetic at this point. she wasn't sure what drove her to come here and seek him out all this time later. she probably would've made it easier on him if she just stayed out of his life and left him alone, but she couldn't. addison wanted him back in her life, otherwise she wouldn't have spent almost a year trying to force herself to simply walk into that tattoo parlor. she closed her eyes for a moment, gripping them shut as she thought back to when they were fifteen. addison was at that cute, adorable stage in her life with her little turned up nose and big, brown eyes. she could've had so many boys, but her eyes were set on jagger and she even blew that and lost him to cate. they claimed they were destined for each other which had always angered addi. she never got a chance to prove she could've been just as good, but then she was being selfish because she remembered learning about cate's death and how guilty and sick she had been for almost a whole month. she didn't really think coming back here was the best idea of hers, but she figured she might as well try. if he truly didn't want her in his life, he'd straight up tell her. that was how jagger used to treat her. if he didn't like something, he wasn't afraid to tell her. but now, addison wasn't so sure she'd be able to take it if he told her to go away and never come back. would she remind him too much of cate? she could see his expression soften as he stared at the tattoo design and she felt herself relax slightly. she remembered how much stella loved running around the house chasing after jagger or telling addi how much she enjoyed jagger being around with her little cute, slurred speech. being around people always made stella beam and jagger was certainly no exception, but now she felt like she was guilt-tripping him into accepting her back into his life. well, whatever way got her back into his life. she missed him. as he traced the outline of the tattoo, she took him in all at once. his hair, his eyes, his hands. everything was still the same, just a lot older. back then, he was seventeen and she felt so cool hanging around with him and cate, but then it all faded like most things do. he kept looking up after each time he spoke and addison's heart was melting each time he looked at her. she missed that. this. he must have hated her for coming around like this, intruding on his normal, daily schedule. she nodded her head slowly until he asked her if it was the font and everything. this business talk wasn't exactly how she wanted to talk to him and she pulled back slightly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. she couldn't bring herself to look at him as she felt her heart dropping. he didn't want her here at all. "yeah i'm sure," she replied quietly. i'm reminding him of cate. shit, i fucked up. her thoughts were buzzing in her head and now all she wanted to do was make an appointment and run for the hills. she shouldn't have come back and that's all she kept telling herself as she stood there. each second she stood there longer, she could feel her face heating up even more in shame. "t-that's fine. i can come back another time," she answered quickly. she reached out and took the paper back from him in such a hurry, she wasn't sure what she was doing. she didn't say anything else as she stuffed it into the pocket of her hoodie and she turned around and began walking away hurriedly, wanting to just get away from this. she wouldn't come back. fuck it. she just wanted to run and forget this ever happened. she paused for a moment and just stared out the glass windows. addison felt her bottom lip quiver and she instantly bit it, trying to stop it. don't fucking cry, you idiot. she turned back around to face him, not having gotten too far from him. "jag, i'm sorry, okay? i just...i just really miss you. i just wanted to say that." she began backing away, fearful that he wasn't going to come after her. after all, this was a whole new jagger and based off of how he was treating her like just another customer, she figured he wouldn't even care if she left and never walked back into his life ever again. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[jagger owen wilson]

s h o u ld i g i v e u p o r s h o u l d i

just keep chasing pavements even though it

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style,background-image: url('http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g79/Juliart/background_black.jpg');,true][cs=2] L E A D S T O N O W H E R E

[atrb=width,240] finally, he found himself thinking as she turned to leave. honestly, he had figured a cold look or two after six years of separation would have been all it took to get an old friend off his back. he didn't know he had to go to actually telling her to leave and come back another time in order to get her to actually....well leave. if he had, he would have said it the moment she walked in the door. it was rude, sure, and it was a little brutal as he was sure she missed him and he knew that he missed her. but he gave up who he used to be for a reason. because he didn't want nor desire the closeness that he used to have among others; he didn't want best friends or acquaintances or anything. he wanted to be alone. alone with his brother and his sister and maybe a handful of others who met him after cate, after his transformation, and that was it. he didn't want the past. he didn't want old friendships. he didn't want addison, even as the twisting in his gut got worse as she began to walk away. it was for the best. for the both of them, it was the best thing to happen. but...no, no she was turning back around and no, shit she was saying she missed him, that she was sorry, that she just wanted to say that and she was backing away again like...like he was going to let her go which honestly he probably would have if he hadn't seen that tattoo design. it was a reminder - a reminder that life wasn't too bad before cate and him even got together. that there were people like stella who liked him, people like that that he genuinely cared for and wanted to protect. a reminder that there was a gentler person hidden beneath that cold stare and rough exterior. but he just had lost track of who this person was and now...now this person was scaring off addison miller, the girl who had been his best friend for years and years and years. the girl he had shared most everything with, everything that he had to give except for what he'd given to cate. and she was backing away like...like he was some sort of animal telling her to get off his territory. like he was some predatory monster. he glanced around the room to make sure no one was walking in before letting out a breath. no - he couldn't let her go. it wasn't...it wasn't right. "addi, wait." he wasn't moving from behind the counter - no that showed that he cared a little too much and he was far too concerned with keeping up the tough guy act around his co-workers to go running after her, but he could at least try to stop her with his voice. it was a request more than a command, softer in tone than the cold ice he had been throwing her way before. he sounded a bit like a jagger he hadn't heard from in five years, one that was younger and vulnerable and open and kind. one that actually bore some sort of resemblance to his younger brother. one that had been addison's best friend. "you just...shit, you caught me off guard." there. he admitted it. softly, and he glanced nervously toward the doorway as if expecting all the other artists in the place to come running in to laugh at him, but he had admitted it all the time. "it's been six...years." he tried to meet her eye. "i've changed. it's hard to..." his voice caught. "it's hard to go back to that. and shit, it's shitty of me to say and i'll never say it again but i don't want to go back to being a fucking pussy because some old friend dropped by to take me on some weird ass journey down memory lane. it's hard. letting go when you're guarded." he sighed and looked away, back at the counter. "just...don't go."

[atrb=width,100] words , 6 9 1 words tagged , sami as addison ! notes , that was...short and shitty and i apologize D; BUT IT'S PROGRESS

TEMPLATE BY THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY @ CAUTION 2.0

[INDIA MAEVE WILCOX]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] IF IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SHOULD SET THEM FREE. OH IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY YOU WENT AND THREW IT AWAY. The Words: 925 The Outfit: here! The Notes i like when she's mad :3 if there was one thing that addison wasn't, it was clingy. she wasn't about to sit here and beg for him to forgive her or even talk to her. she came here for a tattoo and the chance at getting to talk to an old friend that had once meant everything to her. once her apology had left her mouth, she wished it hadn't because she had a strong feeling he wouldn't give a shit about what she had to say. she hated feeling like she was interfering with people's lives, which was what lead her to cut of cate and jagger originally. she never had to rely on anyone nor did she need anyone to care for her. she had dealt with her mother getting kicked out and she saw the pain her father went through to get over her. addison never had a mother be there for her so she certainly didn't need anyone chasing after her, though deep down, it was secretly what she desired. maybe it was the fact that she had seen way too many romantic comedies for her own good, but it was worth a shot. but she wasn't stupid. the way jagger spoke to her made her start backing away faster, cramming her hands into the center pocket of her hoodie. she bit her bottom lip again and began to turn away, her back to him. she didn't need to embarrass herself more than she already had. with her back turned, she reached up and rubbed a sleeve across her eyes, ridding of any tears that had just been sitting there, just waiting for enough pain to make them fall. addi, wait. his words hit her and she was oddly surprised. she was expecting him to let her walk out and never show her face again. after all, she was sure he wouldn't want a daily reminder of his past with cate and all. she stood there for a second and clenched her jaw, slightly angry. what could he possibly want from her now? he made it very clear that she wasn't welcome back in his life anymore and she was mad at herself for even bothering to come here. she whipped around to face him, the cute, innocent smile gone. she continued to keep her jaw clenched, wanting to avoid saying anything completely rude or sarcastic to him. maybe he was giving her another chance. his voice. this was the jagger she knew five or six years ago. the one that told her everything would get better the older she got. the same one that tried to get her attention in the halls of the school a few weeks after him and cate got together and she avoided contact with either of them. "you just...shit, you caught me off guard." she raised an eyebrow at him, keeping silent. she understood that she caught him off guard, but she also didn't expect to be treated like just another stranger to him and that was what hurt addison the most. she knew she deserved it after cutting him out of her life, but addison was too stubborn to realize that. she tried to hold his gaze, but he couldn't even look at her, which crushed addison. her heart sank even more and she opened her mouth to say something, but he continued. "it's hard to go back to that. and shit, it's shitty of me to say and i'll never say it again but i don't want to go back to being a fucking pussy because some old friend dropped by to take me on some weird ass journey down memory lane. it's hard. letting go when you're guarded." her mouth dropped slightly at his words and she couldn't even believe what he was saying to her. she couldn't help but get angry with him. she knew he had every right to feel this way, but she was being a bitch and didn't want him to. she wanted him to want her back in his life, but he was 'guarded' and couldn't just let it down for five seconds to let someone back in that had spent most of his childhood following him around like a puppy. "is that what you think you'll be? a pussy? because to be completely honest, jag, that's how you're acting right now," she spat out at him. instantly, she felt bad for saying what she had just said, but this was the anger she had for him that she kept bottled up inside coming out six years later. mad that he picked cate over addi back then. she was an idiot for being so selfish and getting so jealous of cate, but at fifteen, you couldn't really help it. "look. i know it's been a while and i'm sorry i cut you out, okay? i came down here thinking maybe i'd just get you back in my life, but i wasn't expecting the fucking daggers being thrown at me. i mean, you can't even look at me," she murmured quietly. she moved closer to him again, standing a good few feet away from the counter, but she held herself together, folding her arms in front of her. she forced herself to calm down and not get mad. he didn't deserve it. what happened in the past was in the past and wasn't his fault. his heart chose cate and not addison back then and she had to get over it. but just looking at jagger made her soften up, seeing him like his old self little by little. she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, dropping her arms to her side as she leaned back against the corner of the counter. "i'm sorry," she mumbled, staring at her shoes and the floor in front of her. now she felt like an idiot for going off on him. she was just being the usual, stubborn addison and she couldn't help it sometimes. "i'm not going anywhere this time." she replied softly. she looked over at him, folding her arms again. she let out an exasperated sigh, unsure if she was doing the right thing here. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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