WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL || tagged: hannah/icarus

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 743 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE she wasn't sure why she started going to the clubs with noah. to be honest, she didn't even enjoy herself when she was there. she always just sat at the bar sipping on some water with an extra glass nearby watching noah prey on young, innocent men while she got eyed by lesbians and had to explain over and over again that she was only there as her roommate's designated driver and sorry, but she's straight. and even that didn't deter them all the time and she once had to spend the better part of an hour getting an extremely drunk brunette to leave her alone while noah sucked on some guy's neck like a vampire and watched. it wasn't exactly her definition of fun, and every time noah dragged her out of the house on the weekend, adaline found herself wondering why she put up with it at all and why in the hell noah never paid her back for it. maybe that was just part of being a good roommate. when she had to go and review plays, she dragged noah out of the house (though that wasn't really a punishment) and when he wanted to go and get drunk or laid or both, he dragged her out of the house. it was a give and take sort of relationship that kept their friendship so alive. or maybe it was just because noah was so damn charming. she could sit there and try to deny it all she wanted but the guy had charisma and she had a feeling one day she might be reviewing him up onstage. he was just everything that a good actor should be and when he batted those pretty long eyelashes of his and asked you to do something, it was oftentimes very, very hard to say no. even if you're one hundred percent positive he's gay and you know you'll never get anything out of it, you have to say yes. maybe that was why she allowed this to happen to her. or maybe it was just because this was part of her new life now - her new life in america that she had grown accustomed to. and she wasn't about to mess with the flow of things now just because she happened to be on better terms with noah than ever before. whatever the case, that's how she found herself sitting in yet another (or the same, noah seemed to like this one) gay hot spot on a night that could be better spent working out or watching movies or doing anything but this while keeping an eye on her best friend who was currently in the process of talking to a particularly flamboyant blonde and doing that thing that noah does when he just...exists. adaline sighed as she took another sip of water. she loved her roommate, she did, but this was honestly not the life that she envisioned when she made the move to america and went through the grueling process of getting duel citizenship. she did not imagine that she would be sitting in bars denying advances and taking (oftentimes) two wasted gay men back home and then leaving to whoever else's house or sometimes even a hotel to give them their privacy. she didn't imagine that she would sometimes find herself at home alone with nothing but a few pints of ice cream and the latest romantic comedy. to be honest, she imagined a life filled with...more than this. with love and romance and...things she wouldn't think about. she drained her glass and asked for another. what she wouldn't give to risk drinking... but she didn't. she didn't because she knew that at any moment noah might want to leave and she was a good and responsible roommate. she sighed again, pouting slightly, and thanked the bartender when he brought her another glass of water, looking incredibly amused. they had had the "so, designated driver?" "yup," conversation on more than one occasion and she knew the only reason he let her get away with sitting there looking mopey was because noah paid him back in full with how many drinks he always bought. she grabbed her glass and started sipping on it again slowly, losing noah in the club for a second before finding him again with a different guy. some redhead. she wrinkled her nose. it was going to be a long, long, long night. any and all notes can go here

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[icarus mcgregor koufidakis]

EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU'RE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND

if anyone he ever knew saw icarus right now, his life would definitely be over. it wouldn't just be over, but it'd be ten levels of over. worse, if any of his co-workers ever caught him at gotham citi gay club, it wouldn't just be ten levels of over- it would be awkward and ten levels of over. trying to explain yourself as to why you've ended up in a gay club when you're clearly straight? it didn't sound like a very appealing night for him. besides that, he was a teacher at a high school- it'd be pretty embarrassing for the both of them. luckily, that'd never happened before. he'd always been able to get away with entering a joint mainly for lesbians and gays without seeing someone he knew. this was his first night at this particular one, however. morgan, his best friend who happened to be a homsexual, dragged him out to it, claiming it was "the best in connecticut." he also claimed that he'd be too drunk to drive home, like he did every night when icarus said he wasn't doing anything or had papers to grade. he'd turn into the designated driver, because there was no way that he was going to teach a class with even the slightest hangover.

there was a first time for everything, and it was icarus' first time at the gotham citi nightclub. morgan was right about one thing- it probably was the best place in connecticut for a gay person to meet their one and only. it was crawling with interesting characters, and even though icarus never had discriminated against people with different sexual preferences than him, things always got just a little bit awkward when icarus escorted morgan to one of these places. he was an attractive guy and he was at a gay bar, so people were obviously going to assume things- for example, assume he's gay. he wasn't, but could he really blame anyone for thinking that? he was at a gay bar, after all. when someone approached him, he politely turned them down with the same excuse, which was he was meeting someone there. he was surrounded by a bunch of gay men and women, so he should at least pretend to fit in, right?

upon arriving, icarus made a bee line for the bar, like he always did. he'd rather avoid using the "i'm gay and i'm here on a date" line as much as he could. icarus was many things- a virtuoso, a paeleontologist, a nerd, but an actor he was not. he'd been discovered once or twice, and believe it or not, it was pretty embarrassing to be caught pretending to be a homosexual. he ordered water, like he usually did, and seated himself at the bar. he wasn't entirely bored just sitting there, though. these places had their pros, one of which watching lesbians get it on with each other. he was still a male, and still found girl on girl action hot. sometimes, he'd find other straight people, that were there as designated driver's for their own homosexual friend, but that only happened on rare occasions. not that he had anything against conversations with gays, it was just nice to relate to someone in his situation.

after getting another glass of water, he left his stool at the bar, to go find morgan. it was getting pretty late, and icarus still had work the next day. while morgan trusted people he didn't know to give him a ride home, icarus didn't, especially not when it came to his best friend. trying to get through the crowd was like trying to get through a wall, though, even when he used his strategy of staying close to the bar. usually that worked, but unfortunately, this time it didn't. when he was well away from where he had started, he was bumping by a pair of giddy boys and his water splashed onto an unknown girl sitting at the bar. while most people wouldn't give this a second glance, icarus was... icarus. something as little as this was like a hit and run, and he couldn't do that. "shit, i'm really sorry about that..."

[/font] even if he was just asking for a shit storm, at least karma would still be on his side.[/div]

721 WORDS. LOL I DIDN'T EDIT IT SO IT MIGHT SUCK. WEARINGTHIS, HOLLLLA.

[/center]

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 692 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE ah and the token mishap of the night. honestly, it wouldn't be a night at the club if something bad didn't happen to her while noah was out getting ass as was his usual night on the town (how he managed so many sick days after he went on binges like this, she didn't know, and to be quite honest, she didn't want to know). sometimes it was just the typical creepy lesbian trying to get her pants off, sometimes it was that her bartender 'friend' wasn't working and she had to explain herself to somebody else. sometimes it was just random mishaps like gum on the shoe or somebody mistaking her for their friend. but not tonight - tonight was one that she'd only had happen to her once before. somebody spilled their drink on her top. thankfully, it didn't look like something that would stain; it didn't even smell like alcohol so there was always the lucky chance that whoever ran into her that night happened to be drinking water same as her, whether to keep themselves busy or sober up. at least, she could pray for that - the blouse was a favorite of both hers and noah's and both of them would probably have a fit trying to get it clean if anything ever happened to it. however, that was the least of her problems. because when she looked up to see which drunkard had poured something down her back, her eyes widened in shock when she realized that it was a familiar face. older and honestly more attractive than she remembered, but a face that no one could pay her to forget. honestly, of all the places... anger she didn't know she had flared up and turned her cheeks red - or was that embarrassment? honestly, she felt either emotion so little that it was hard to tell sometimes. but it didn't matter. all that mattered, all that she could focus on, was that icarus was there in a gay bar on a night that most certainly was not typical for a single (was he single? did it matter?) straight man to be attending on. or at least, she thought he was straight. after all, a relationship over a year long typically convinced someone of their significant other's sexuality but she had heard plenty of stories from noah about seven year marriages going down the toilet because the wife finally figured out that the guy was gay and hiring prostitutes or something on the side. he'd mentioned something about serial killers being born that way, too, though so she wasn't sure how true any of his stories were but it would make sense if her ex was gay. it would explain why everything went so shitty so quickly. but she wasn't thinking about that. even with him right in front of her, she wasn't going to think about it. she couldn't afford to. so instead she just tried to figure out what to say. after all, what did one say to an ex after an awkward run in? she wasn't sure - it had never happened to her before. and though she usually knew what to do in situations like this, icarus had always been...well he'd always been an exception. he made her feel emotions she couldn't comprehend, emotions that made her dizzy and her judgment impaired, like she'd been drinking alcohol even if she hadn't. even now, after years of not seeing him, she found herself relatively speechless, gaping up at him like a very surprised and slightly angry fish out of water. finally, though, she decided to just talk and live with the consequence of what she was saying and that was how she ended up blurting out, "if you had just told me you were gay, i wouldn't have hated you." but that wasn't what she wanted to say at all. "i mean...damn, no that's not what i meant. i meant, it's fine. shit. it's fine, really. it's just a shirt. i have, uhm...i have a closet full so..." she ducked her head and said mostly to herself, "no problem really." any and all notes can go here

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[icarus mcgregor koufidakis]

EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU'RE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND

as the blonde turned slowly around in her seat, icarus prepared himself for the worst. this was a gay bar, so chances were that she was probably a lesbian, just like most every other girl in this place. slapped, maybe? he'd never been slapped a lesbian, before. he'd never been slapped at all before, because usually, icarus liked to keep himself out of these sorts of situations. but hey- there was a first time for everything, so maybe it was just that time to be slapped across the face, and he got the special honor of having a lesbian do it to him. or maybe there would be no slap, and just a lot of bitching about how much he'd pay for ruining her favorite blouse, and then icarus would rebut with it was just water and then he'd get slapped. there were a million different scenarios that icarus could have just put himself into, but like icarus liked to think, there was a first for everything. no matter the situation, icarus would love to be able to say to his children some day, daddy was slapped by a lesbian! and as that 'lesbian' turned all the way around, icarus tried to control his eyes from popping out of his had. daddy was slapped by a lesbian just turned into daddy was slapped by the love of his life in a gay bar! once again... first for everything!

"adaline... no, no, i'm not gay... i'm just here for a friend... he's gay. i'm not. he's a flaming gay. i'm still flaming straight!" if icarus hadn't shut up when he did, he would have had to physically stop himself from saying anything else by grabbing his tongue- not really, but the point is, icarus was nervous, he was surprised. people tend to babble in these situations, and icarus was no exception. "but, uh... what about you? are you like... a lesbian or, uh?"

[/font][/i] there was no way in hell adaline was a lesbian. unless she actually was gay now. maybe she'd been so devastated about their break up that she couldn't live as a straight woman anymore, because she couldn't bear to be with any man but icarus... ha! they loved each other, but icarus didn't think that he did that much damage. sure, he dragged her from her home only to dump her five months later, but it could not have been that bad... right?

then he thought about it a bit more in the couple seconds that he had, before he just looked rude. he'd moved to hartford, she stayed in new haven after the break up. they hadn't seen each other in at least a year, and now they end up in a gay joint together? come on, this had to be fate. even if she was a lesbian, fate didn't lie. maybe this was the world's way of telling icarus that he belonged with adaline, and he was right to regret ever dumping her. sure, maybe he didn't like being on such a short leash, but he could learn to love it for adaline. yeah, he was the one to dump her, and maybe she hated him for how their breakup went down, but she could learn to forgive him. fate could be trying to tell him something, through a glass of water and a gay bar... or, they just happened to be in a joint for homosexuals at the exact same time. "sorry about your shirt. i was, uh, i was bumped. these lesbians have crazy hormones!"[/font][/i] he tried to lighten the mood by laughing, but his face quickly turned back to serious. this was no time for smiling. she actually might slap him. maybe even punch him. he should have stopped with that, but being icarus, he had to open his big mouth all again. "you look good."[/font][/i][/div]

693 WORDS. LOL I DIDN'T EDIT IT SO IT MIGHT SUCK. WEARINGTHIS, HOLLLLA.

[/center]

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 708 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE god this was embarrassing. instinctively, her eyes searched out noah in the crowd but he once more had gotten himself lost and slipped out of her line of vision and she found herself alone. with icarus. well, not really alone - they were surrounded by strangers. a wall of strangers, really. rejected lesbians and other people who wanted to be as near to the alcohol as possible. but it certainly felt like she was alone with him because she didn't recognize another face around her except for his and the bartender's and she didn't necessarily count the bartender because the second he noticed her actually talking to someone in a way that wasn't just plain rejecting in tone, he had scurried off to keep some other bar regular company. great. what a fanfuckingtastic friend he turned out to be. she turned her gaze back to her ex soon enough, though, lost slightly as to what he was saying. something about gay friends, lesbian, flaming gay...it took a moment but she got the general gist of it and when she did, she found herself smiling in spite of herself. damn him. damn him and his icarus-ness straight down to the fiery depths of hell. "i don't think that the 'flaming' works for both sexualities there, mate," she teased, trying to ignore the awkward feeling of wet cloth on her back. it would dry eventually, right? not that it was on the top of her list of her concerns. she was still trying to wrap her head around how this managed to happen at all. she hadn't seen icarus since...well since he broke up with her and she moved in with noah, a complete stranger at the time. she hadn't even thought of tracking him down or finding him again. she had mainly just been concerned with getting her ass back to australia. but now - now there he was, in the same gay bar as her....wow, that didn't get any more awkward, did it? it would certainly be something to email her sister about. oh hey, jody! what's up? nothing really. just ran into a former flame at a gay bar. yeah, totally normal shit. what about you? how are mum and dad? yeah. that would be a story to tell. "i'm, uh, i'm not a..." she gestured around her, deciding to get back to conversation. she could be confused about it later. for now, she just had to try to make it through a conversation without it getting too awkward. "no, i'm not a lesbian. i'm here for a friend as well, actually. my roommate." her eyes flickered back to the wall of people quickly but when noah's familiar head of hair didn't catch her eye, she immediately turned her gaze back to icarus. "speaking of flaming homos, that is pretty much exactly what he is." not that icarus needed to know that. or that he even cared. god, what was she doing, making small talk? she should have just said that it was fine and let him carry on and leave but no. no she had to say something cheeky, something teasing, something so very....so very adaline. god damn her. and then when she thought it couldn't get any more awkward, icarus opened his mouth again. she looked good? how in the hell was she supposed to respond to that? oh yeah, i've been great worrying about how to support myself and how i'm getting home and why i was stupid enough to move here because of you, thanks for the compliment? she didn't think so. she was a nice girl but she wasn't that nice. she felt a lot for him when they dated, that much was true, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't harboring any resentment. the compliment put her a little on edge. he didn't have the right to comment on her appearance anymore. he had lost that. but instead of saying that, she just pursed her lips, nodded, and said, "yeah, yeah, thanks. so do you." which wasn't a lie. he really did look good. "it seems you've been doing uhm...rather well for yourself." always so polite, so calm. sometimes she hated herself for it. lol i didn't see this before. i'm too lazy to find an outfit so get creative.

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[icarus mcgregor koufidakis]

EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU'RE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND

what in the hell was icarus doing? he could tell that adaline didn't want to talk to him. he could tell that she was probably still disgusted by what he did to her on that fateful, gloomy day- the day that ruined icarus' sex live forever. it was like, once you go adaline, you never go back. for icarus at least. the point, though? she probably hated him, and icarus wouldn't blame her if she did. he'd screwed up her life. she had opportunities in australia that she didn't have in america. she had her family, she had all of her friends, and most of all, she had her home. because australia was her home, not stupid fucking america. that's what surprised him most of all. why hadn't she gone back to australia yet? he already got rid of even the slightest possibility that she had stayed because she wasn't over him, because one has to be realistic. he dumped her after five months in america, and then picked up and moved to hartford, a whole city away. he abandoned her in a place where she had nothing and knew nothing. he pretty much sucked, and there was no way she was still pining over him.

he could tell that she didn't want to be there. not in icarus' prescence at least, which was probably why she was searching every square inch of the room, probably trying to find whoever she had come with. icarus was happy to hear that that person was not straight, and was in fact a homosexual. he was also happy to hear that adaline was still straight. maybe that gave him at least a little room to prove her that he wasn't an asshole like he had been on the day that he dumped her. even though it was probably impossible to change her opinion of him now, a boy could try, couldn't he? now that he knew that she was still living in connecticut, thats exactly what icarus planned on doing. trying. he wouldn't be satisfied until he at least changed her mind about him. the fact that she probably despised him left a sour taste in his mouth. this girl that he was staring at, the one that he still had incredibily strong feelings for, the one that he was still convinced was his soulmate- okay, enough of that. the point? icarus still loved adaline, and a lot at that. he couldn't live with himself if she couldn't even stand talking with him without looking for an escape route.

"you don't have stand here and talk to me. you can punch me if you want, too. you probably want to. i'd want to." he finally said. if she punched him, he wouldn't be at all surprised. no, okay, he would. he'd be extremely shocked. would he be mad though? no, of course not. a little upset that she'd actually done it, but not mad. even though he knew she wasn't that cruel, he kind of wanted her too. an eye for an eye, right? "just, bring it on. i'm a man. i can take it."

[/i][/font] but could he really? probably not. he backed up as far as the herd of groping lesbians behind him would let him, and spread his arms, motioning for her to do it. for some reason though, he knew that he wasn't going to get out of this that easy.[/div]

585 WORDS. LOL SHORTSHORTSHORT I JUST WANTED TO GET ONE IN.

[/center]

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 679 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE oh no. what was he doing? what was he doing? dear god, was he a moron or was he just plain stupid? she honestly wasn't sure what exactly he was playing at. offering to let her punch him. standing back against the crowd like he really expected her to do it. admittedly, she really wanted to. she wanted to do nothing more than let him have it and batter every inch of his body until he was as broken and bruised as she felt after he left her. she wanted more than anything to ask if she could get noah's help, if maybe he wouldn't object to being hit by several people so he could try to get a glimpse of what she had been through when he dumped her on her ass and just left. because it had hurt. she hadn't let it show and she put on smiles and happy faces for as long as she could but to be honest? it hurt a lot. she had already lost australia but losing icarus had been like losing the sun and sand of her home all over again. like losing a part of her she didn't realize was so large until it went missing. and for a split second, punching him didn't seem like a bad idea. but she wasn't that person. she wasn't big and melodramatic like her roommate, she wasn't vengeful like some other girls, and she certainly did not resort to physical violence unless in self-defense. so even if she wanted to punch icarus in the face, in the stomach, everywhere that could possibly hurt, she didn't. she instead just gaped at him stupidly for another split second before laughing to herself and standing up to pull on his arm to get him away from the wall of people again. "are you a complete sodding idiot?" she asked, smiling in spite of herself. honestly, it was embarrassing how quickly he wiped a sour look off her face. it made her feel vulnerable, like he still had some hold over her that he should have lost control of a long time ago. like he was still able to make her....fly across the world just to be with him. and that was a scary thought. after all, he had dumped her. shouldn't she be bitter? shouldn't she want nothing to do with him? somehow, though, adaline could never bring herself to want nothing to do with icarus koufidakis. maybe it was his stupid name; maybe it was the goofy way he handled himself or the way he made her laugh or maybe it was even something as shallow as his good looks, good looks that just escalated and grew on you as you got to know him. she wasn't sure. she just knew that she didn't hate him. she was hurt; hell, she was more hurt than she'd ever been in a long time and even touching the man to pull him back away from the affronted looking lesbians sent a spark through her veins that was damn near painful. but she didn't hate him. he had her reasons for dumping her and whatever they were, she hoped that he learned to cope with his decision. sometimes things just didn't work out; she got that. it was just a bit of a pity that things had to not work out with a guy like him. a guy she could resent if she dared to love him that much again. "i don't...i don't want to punch you," she told him, hugging her arms to her chest, an extremely vulnerable looking position that she regretted but didn't change. "i mean you'd think that i would considering...but it's been a long, long time. aren't we a little too old for holding grudges over..." she swallowed, her throat suddenly tight. "over puppy love?" she exhaled sharply, almost huffily. "you're lucky i'm the designated driver tonight, koufidakis. i can be quite the feisty drunk and that pretty face of yours might not have been so safe on other terms." lol i didn't see this before. i'm too lazy to find an outfit so get creative.

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[icarus mcgregor koufidakis]

EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU'RE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND

instead of punching him, so pulled his arm down with her hand. icarus retreated from his vulnerable position, relieved but also a little disappointed as well. for whatever strange reason, icarus felt like if she had went to town with her fists on him, he'd feel a little bit better. obviously that wouldn't last long before someone broke it up and they were both kicked out, but still- it would have made them at least even. then again, just a beating is nothing compared to what icarus had done to her. once again, abandoning her in a city like new haven, with nothing but her own items and herself was pretty harsh. she didn't know the city then, and while she probably knew it pretty well now, it was probably hard for her. she had she lost icarus, her boyfriend and probably the closest friend she had in the states, and he could imagine that it took her a while to get back on her feet after that. so, yeah, he would have felt a little bit better if she had planted a fist right in his gut, but it made him feel a little bit better that she didn't. either she didn't want to make a scene, or she didn't want to hurt him. he was leaning towards the latter.

"are you a complete sodding idiot?" he could say a billion things to that. for example, he could bring up the fact that he was a complete sodding idiot for ever dumping her in the first place or he could tell her that he was a complete sodding idiot for ever convincing her to come home with him in the first place. in any scenario, it'd probably bring back a few unwanted memories for the both of them, so he'd dodge both of those. it didn't mean he couldn't agree that he was a complete sodding idiot, which was exactly what he did. in a way, at least. "adaline,"

[/font][/i] he said, "i think we both know the answer to that question."[/font][/i]

he planted himself on a stool next to her, tired of standing up. at this pace, icarus didn't know how long this would last until she decided he wasn't worth her time- which he probably wasn't, but he didn't have to make that known. "aren't we a little too old for holding grudges over... puppy love?" that's what probably stung him the most. yeah. puppy love. their relationship was a lot of things, but it wasn't puppy love. at least icarus didn't think so. it got him a little upset, yeah. maybe a bolt of anger ran through him, but he didn't make a comment. he gritted his teeth and moved on with it. it's not like he could argue about what their relationship was, and if it was puppy love or not... even though icarus was still one hundred percent sure it was anything but puppy love. "yeah, i guess we are, adaline. twenty eights a big number. so is twenty four?"[/font][/i]

she lightened the mood a little with "you're lucky i'm the designated driver tonight, koufidakis. i can be quite the feisty drunk and that pretty face of yours might not have been so safe on other terms," and icarus let out a small howl of laughter, whether her comment was meant to be funny or not. "i don't doubt you for a second."[/font][/i] he said, another smile before he got serious-icarus again. "hey adaline? i know it's a little late, but i really am sorry. for everything. but uh, you look like you've been doing rather well, too."[/font][/i][/div]

662 WORDS. FUCKINGCHEESYENDINGOMG.

[/center]