ONLY YOU THERE IN THE KISS {alec}

[jason allen wilson]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: KIT/ALEC OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: COTTON CANDY!

his talk with noah was still fresh in his mind. after the initial discussion he'd had with him about the nitty gritty details and the things he thought would scare him away from the topic, noah had sat him down and relayed things to him that jason wouldn't dare ever think of again without a blush permanently stuck onto his cheeks. honestly, how he sat down the first speech he didn't know but the second one...that was enough to drive him insane and if he wasn't so curious about everything he could do to be informed when he was actually talking to alec about such a delicate subject...well, he would have left. because noah was shameless. he didn't care about how jason looked at him after his talks or any of the people he was telling stories about. he didn't care that jason was blushing so brightly he might as well have been a tomato. he didn't care that he was making the younger wilson uncomfortable. but jason had asked and so he had received. he supposed that was his fault for talking to noah cervantes about sex.

though honestly he couldn't have gotten a better source. sure there was the internet and there was always pornography as noah loved to point out to him, but people on the internet exaggerated and pornography was too much for his poor little brain to handle, not to mention incredibly unrealistic by noah's relay. no, there was no better educator when it come to the ways of sex between two males than noah - or at least if there was, then jason honestly did not want to meet such a man. he was blunt, he was honest, he was experienced, and he was shameless. jason had no doubt that if he'd wanted a demonstration, noah would have left and returned ten minutes later miraculously with some guy who didn't mind being watched and shown him a detail by detail account of whatever he wanted to know. which jason didn't want because the idea of it was already making him uneasy. but it just went to show that he was serious about the entire thing because after all of noah's horror stories and even ones that ended on a more pleasurable (but still scarring) note, jason wasn't backing down from his intent.

he was ready to have sex. he had done so well in his nineteen years without it, so happy and so content with dealing with his frustration by standard means. he was convinced that he was waiting until marriage or until engagement and for a while he was very content with that. then he met and got in a relationship with alec hoades. and that changed everything. he had never wanted to give into temptation so badly before. he had never broken his usual standards before, had never known the pleasure alec had given him in the time they'd been together, in sexual and emotional stimulation. he had never moved this quickly or wanted to move this quickly, and it had never been so easy to look noah cervantes in the eye and tell him that he was ready to hear his version of the birds and the bees. jason was ready, finally ready, to have sex.

and that's why he'd called alec over. not to have sex - no, god no, not that step yet, he wanted to know beforehand so he could mentally prepare himself for that. but just to talk about it. to let alec know that he was ready; to let him know that he wanted to talk about it. because that was one thing noah had really pushed for when he had been talking to him. communication is everything. he needed to be open with alec. he needed to talk to him about things like who would top and who would bottom, if they wanted to use protection, if they were really ready to take this step. noah teased that they should talk about a safe word but jason didn't think that was too bad of an idea either. he wanted to cover everything - everything. he had made sexual advances with alec that he had never, ever been able to manage with a previous relationship. the first time alec had ever touched him without his clothes on was electric, and he wasn't afraid of it like he once was. he just wanted everything to be considered. he wanted to be sure they were ready.

so he invited him over to talk. not that he wouldn't have seen alec anyway but he just made a special note to tell him that there was something serious that he wanted to talk to him about. nothing bad, he had assured him. just something big. and as always, alec obliged. he always did, and it was one of the things that jason just absolutely loved about him. being in love with him was easy. being in a relationship was easy, taking these steps was easier than they had ever been before. alec didn't fight him; he didn't freak out. he didn't pick fights or complain when jason said they were going too fast and he didn't push him to go further. every step forward was made by jason. every advancement in their relationship was passed by jason. if he wasn't comfortable, alec adjusted until he was. it was things like that, just the little things that he did, that made jason so happy to be with him and so proud to call him his boyfriend. it was reasons like that that he was ready to take such a big step in their relationship.

so alec came over. and after saying their (very extensive) hellos and settling into jason's bedroom, where they found themselves spending a lot of their time anymore, jason found it in him to pull away and start them down the path to talking about what he'd called him over for. "i missed you," he smiled, pressing his lips against alec's softly. "i've been thinking about this just...all day." which was true. it had been weighing on his mind all day and he wasn't sure if his ambivalence about bringing it up was a good sign or bad one. "i'm not going to like...make you wait to hear it because it's something that's really...it's important to me. to us." his bit down on his lower lip. "it's just...i've done a lot of thinking - i know, what else is new? uhm, anyway. i was doing some thinking and i think...that..." he bit down harder on his lip. "i just...i want t-to uhm..." he could feel his head start to pound and closed his eyes to try and steady his breathing. "i think we're ready, alec. to have...or at-at least talk about..." he lowered his eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks. "sex."

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alec chase hoades]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 330px; border-right: 20px solid #000033; background-image:url(http://i1059.photobucket.com/albums/t422/TechnicAware/Apple%20Headphones/BackgroundBlueMetal.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] we found love in a hopeless place, yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side, and your shadow crosses mind, what it takes to come alive, it's the way i'm feeling i just can't deny, but i've gotta let it go alec was quite possibly the happiest that he'd ever been in his life. which really was saying something given the fact that he was a generally happy person. there was no explaining the happiness that he had at this point in his life though, because, it was so much more than happiness. it was so much more than what he'd ever felt before. he supposed that was what being in love was all about. being so happy in life and with the person that you called your other half that there was nothing in the world that could knock him off of the high horse that he'd been riding. and all this happiness and all of this glee in his life was all attributed to one boy; jason wilson. he was everything, literally, everything that alec had never known that he'd needed in his life. he never would've predicted that he'd be this happy because of a man, but fuck if he was going to stare a gift horse in the mouth. his life was filled more or less with jason as of late. not as badly as it had been in the first week or so of their relationship where he'd spent literally all of his time with the wilson boy, but he still saw him more than some might think was normal. he just knew that there was time that he needed to set aside if nothing else for that best friend of his. not that they didn't see a lot of each other anyway. they did, after all, work together. and during most of the hours that they were at the shop tony had to hear about jason and about how happy the hoades boy was with him. part of him wondered if he was becoming annoying yet. if he was tony hadn't said as much. when alec had gotten the call from jason saying that there was something important that they needed to talk about he knew that it could only be something good. after all, the only real problem that they'd come across in their relationship thus far was the fact that jagger didn't seem to understand that alec was there for good. he wasn't about to disappear from jason's life just because his older brother wanted him to. what they had was stronger than that. it was deeper and more real than something that could so easily be ruined by an unhappy older sibling. at the very least there was kendall who seemed to be supportive of their relationship. even if she wasn't either, that didn't mean that alec would so easily be scared off. because jason meant that much to him, and he knew that he was in love with him and he also knew that it was so much more than just puppy love. what he felt for jason wasn't going to disappear, it wasn't going to lessen over time. and he was sure of that. call him some kind hopeless romantic if you will, and he would probably tell you that you were right, and he had no regrets over such a fact. how could he? he was about to call jason wilson his boyfriend. a boy who only became more and more amazing with the more time that he spent with him and got to know him. alec was more than a little sure that he fell more and more in love with the wilson boy each day that he knew him. there was no going back to a life that he'd lived before jason was in it. and he was more than certain of that. after finishing up his shift at the store he made his way over to the house that was becoming his second home. he wasn't quite to the comfort point that he could walk around without a shirt on yet, but fuck if he wasn't getting there. whenever the two of them came back together the way that they held each other and kissed and just stared into one another's eyes made it seem like they hadn't seen each other for months, when really they hadn't gone more than three days without seeing one another since they'd gotten together. and even when they didn't see each other, they were constantly in contact. alec was laying comfortably in jason's bed on his side, his head propped up on his upturned hand. his other hand was busy running fingers up and down jason's side lightly. "i missed you too," he purred and returned the kiss and fuck if he hadn't. now a days it was jason that occupied his every thought. alec laid there watching him with curious eyes as he waited for him to get through whatever it was he was having such a hard time getting to. alec really couldn't help but think just how adorable he was when he was nervous about something. then the word came, and alec's brows shot right up to his hairline. that, was most certainly, not something that he was expecting. "oh, alright," he said that look of shock moving more into a simple smile. his hand found jason's lacing their fingers and giving his hand a gentle reassuring squeeze before placing a kiss on his lips of the same nature. "if you think we're ready than we must be. though, i'm not quite sure how to go about talking about it i guess. all the times i had sex before i was with you it just kinda happened," he said simply with a bit of a shrug. though, he really wasn't opposed to the idea. they'd already ventured into the sexual realm with each other, and with every thing that they'd done alec had found himself more than satisfied with it. tag || RENEE/JASON || words || 9 6 3 || outfit || PFFT || notes || yay cotton candy

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TEMPLATE BY ANYA OF CAUTION 2.0
LYRICS BY RIHANNA[/center]

[jason allen wilson]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: KIT/ALEC OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: COTTON CANDY!

jason didn't know it was possible to feel like this. that was a constant thought that had been running through his mind since the moment he learned alec's name. he didn't know that it was possible for someone to make him feel so happy, so comfortable, so content. he didn't know he could miss someone so much when they weren't around or that a single text message could light up his day like every single one of alec's did. he didn't know he could be so thankful that some genius out there in the world came up with the clever idea of kissing and touching and cuddling and he hadn't ever thought that he'd be the kind to just want to waste away the day in bed with his significant other in a way that was innocent but moved into not so innocent in such a smooth transition that it was hard to think that sex was something someone could find dirty. it wasn't. it was beautiful and every sexual experience he'd ever had with alec was filled with so much tenderness that it was no surprise it always left him wanting more. he could lay in bed and stoke alec's fire again and again, over and over and have it be just as loving and tender and careful as the first time. he didn't know it was possible to feel the way that he did. but he was glad that it was.

and honestly, he knew it was something unique to alec. he knew that if he had tried any of the things he had with alec with anybody else in the world, he would have just felt awkward or dirty like he'd always thought he'd feel or just like he didn't know what to do with himself. he knew if it was anyone else but alec next to him on his bed, his heart would be pounding so hard that it would be deafening and it'd be impossible for him to relax. but with alec, he was calm, relaxed, propped up casually on his elbow with a lazy sort of smile on his face even as he moved into a dangerous topic of discussion. alec made him content. alec filled him with feelings that were far less than innocent, far more mature than anything else he'd ever felt before, but he did it in a way that didn't make jason feel like they were doing something wrong. he didn't flinch away when alec touched him, his breath didn't catch in shock every time they kissed. it wasn't like that with anyone else he'd ever been with.

so that was how he knew - just knew - that this was a conversation worth suffering through. it was embarrassing and it wasn't something that he had liked talking about with noah because noah had a way of giving jason those anxious feelings that made him feel like he was being trapped in a small room. but he had a feeling it was going to be easier with alec. he could trust alec. he had let alec talk to him and touch him and be with him in ways that he had never even considered letting any woman before him even so much as think about. sex was really only the last jump they had to make in their relationship and honestly it wasn't as terrifying as jason thought it would be by the time he decided that he was ready. he just had a few technicalities he had to work out in his head, questions noah told him to ask, and that sort of thing. but he wasn't scared. he wasn't terrified or anything. alec said that if jason thought they were ready then they had to be. and if alec could talk about it casually, so could he.

then again, alec had one up on him on having already had sex. not sex like they were going to be having sex, for obvious reasons, but he had still had sex previous to ever meeting jason and though that didn't bother him any (how could it when no couple that ended up together seemed to take one another's virginities these days?) it was still something that was completely foreign ground to him. save for a perverted teacher and the straying hand of a friend of his sister's, jason had done all of his sexual exploration except for a first kiss with alec, and though he was definitely not complaining, that made it scary to think about sometimes. especially since alec was waiting for his word to keep their relationship going and advancing it. sometimes he wished he was the kind of person that just sort of let things happen so that the thought of something like making love to his boyfriend didn't give him a sense of rightness and complete terror at the same time.

though it was also something he could take comfort in. knowing that alec was going to be the only person in the world to ever see him like this. the only one to ever be with him like this. because he planned on that being a reality. he knew it was stupid and he was young but he loved alec and it was far more than the initial infatuation he thought it would be. he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man; the thought of being without him was horrifying, and he couldn't fathom life without him now that he had him in his grasp. maybe some people thought a relationship that lasted for as long as they'd known one another was doomed to fail but jasey didn't think so. he loved alec. he wanted alec to be forever, to be constant. he wanted alec to be the one person who could unravel him completely, the only one who saw him at his most vulnerable. he didn't want to feel anyone else or taste anyone else or be with anyone else for the rest of his life. he just wanted alec. and he found comfort in knowing he'd have him, that it was only him he would ever be having this conversation with. there was something beautiful in that that he couldn't begin to describe.

"i talked to noah," he confessed, pressing his lips softly against alec's. "before...you know, this. just to...y'know. just...educate myself." which would probably sound stupid to anyone who didn't really know jason wilson. but that was how he was. he wanted accurate information, and who better to get it from? though it was admittedly one of the most awkward moments of his life, he had to admit that it helped a little bit. he didn't feel nearly so unprepared. "probably a mistake. or not. i don't know. he just...helped me figure out some...technicalities i guess you could say." he bit his lip. "but he was just...i didn't know noah of all people put so much thought into like...what he did." his brow furrowed. "a little troubling actually but i'm not going to get into...noah's sex life that's...awkward." his voice faded out and he shook his head. "but it's just...i don't know. little things." he pressed another quick kiss to his lips. "like who would top. and if we want to use protection." he smiled slightly, that usual little half grin he usually managed to produce in situations that were amusing to him but probably shouldn't be. "that sort of thing. according to noah it can't 'just happen', but i think he was just trying to scare me away from the idea."

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alec chase hoades]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 330px; border-right: 20px solid #000033; background-image:url(http://i1059.photobucket.com/albums/t422/TechnicAware/Apple%20Headphones/BackgroundBlueMetal.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] we found love in a hopeless place, yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side, and your shadow crosses mind, what it takes to come alive, it's the way i'm feeling i just can't deny, but i've gotta let it go alec had to imagine that if there was any sort of heaven on earth, just laying in bed with jason had to be it. he couldn't describe it. hell, he couldn't really describe anything about how he felt about jason because there weren't words fitting enough to describe how he felt. even when he tried talking to tony about it and making him understand just how much he loved the other boy, and how happy he was with him, it was like the words wouldn't come to him. not because he didn't know how he was feeling, but there really weren't words to describe how intensely he felt about this man. his boyfriend. a man that he had only really known for a few months but that didn't stop him from loving him all the more. because, everything, and he meant everything, with jason was perfect. sure, jason wasn't the person that he had seen himself with when he had thought about his soul mate. first off he had never expected that person to be a boy having not done much venturing into different sexualities in his life. not that he found anything wrong with it because he knew more than a few people who were gay, and he loved them all the same. so it wasn't the being gay part of it that was the complete shocker of it all. for the most part, jason was quiet. he was reserved. he didn't do drugs and he just, existed in a different way than alec himself did. and for all those little ways that they were different, it only seemed to make what they had stronger. alec didn't mind those little things about jason, the way that he was organized to an almost insane point. the way that he just, kept everything in a nice line. didn't really venture out of the box. it was alright with him. jason was like his anchor. something that kept him from drifting away. if he were to be honest with himself that's what he'd been doing for so long in his life. maybe it was because he was a gypsy at heart. always had been. he really wasn't much like his older brother at all. he lived his life the way that he wanted to, and he wore his heart on his sleeve. that was, at least, until he had so happily given that heart of his over to a boy that he had barely known, but everything with alec was so right that he hadn't had a reason not to give it to him. because, well, he made him happy. happy in a way that weed, or girlfriends, or even tony couldn't make him. happy in a way that he felt like he would do anything for jason. anything and everything to make that boy of his smile. and if he was stupid for it, then so be it. when it came to sex, though, well, the way that things advanced were still a bit of a shock to alec himself. he had left all of that in jason's hands. taken everything nice and slow. let jason make all the first steps to becoming more intimate than they had before. he didn't want to freak him out after all. he wanted his boy to be comfortable and happy with him. and he knew that he couldn't be either of those things if alec scared him off by being too aggressive. so everything, every little step they took, it was jason leading the way. and yet, the fact that sex was being brought up still shocked the hell out of alec. this was, well, it wasn't really something that he expected for a long time. "noah?" he replied before returning the small kiss but as jason explained it, it made sense. alec's own lips pulled into an amused little smile as his boy went on, and it made sense. he, after all, was jason wilson. and jason never did anything without first feeling that he was totally and completely prepared and fully educated. really, it was something that alec had grown to love about him. the way that he just made sure to know things. so that if a time came where he needed to know those things, then, he wouldn't have an anxiety attack because he was unsure of what to do. alec, he wasn't a planner, so maybe it was best that jason was. alec returned the other kiss and then laid there for a moment after jason was done talking before nodding slightly. "well, i guess that makes sense. i mean. a guy could get pretty hurt if they weren't ready for it ya know," he said with a small chuckle before kissing his boy again and then running his fingers through his hair. his brows knitted for a moment as he thought, mulling over the two points that jason had brought up. "i want to bottom," he said in an almost rushed way, as if he wasn't completely sure of it. though, he was. deep down he knew that's what he wanted, but that didn't stop it from being a scary thing. there was still a huge part of him that was in shock that he loved the sexual things that they had done so far. that same part of him that was accepting that he was gay, but still a bit confused about it all. his hand moved to fall on jason's hip and he pulled closer to him. "i want to bottom," he said in a more assured way than it had previously been said. "i mean, i'm sure that at some point we'll both top. but the first time, i want to be on bottom. and.....no protection. i...i love you jason. and when it happens, i don't want there to be anything causing a barrier between us. not even latex. that isn't stupid is it?" tag || RENEE/JASON || words || 9 8 9 || outfit || PFFT || notes || yay cotton candy

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TEMPLATE BY ANYA OF CAUTION 2.0
LYRICS BY RIHANNA[/center]

[jason allen wilson]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: KIT/ALEC OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: COTTON CANDY!

there were a thousand things that jason loved about alec. if you gave him enough time and enough paper, he could probably sit down and list them all and even then he'd have to cut off eventually and scribble everything out and just write down "everything" because there was very little he disliked about his boyfriend. alec was on a completely different level than anyone jason had ever met. he didn't have the same problems that everyone around him had - he didn't have abusive parents or a dead girlfriend and child or a bad living situation or a baby girl he wasn't ready to have when he got his girlfriend pregnant. he wasn't in love with someone he couldn't have or so broken beyond repair that it seemed impossible he'd ever loved. jason surrounded himself with people who had so many problems that being with alec was like a breath of fresh air.

he was just so loving and so open and so easy-going and jason needed that. because jason was tightly wound and he was anal and he was crazy and though he had learned to just deal with the fact that he was a psycho mess and it actually helped him in life more than it hurt him, he needed to learn how to let go. and with alec, he got that. he got the ability to let go every now and then. and he was able to relax and put away the school work for a little while and just enjoy life. something he hadn't done since...well, if he was being honest, he couldn't remember the last time he had stopped to enjoy life. he spent his entire childhood confused, his high school career upset over cait and his teacher, and getting into college just made it worse because it was a change of location and pace and he just didn't have it in him to be happy all the time. but with alec, it was easy - it was effortless. he didn't have to think about what happiness was or how he was feeling this way. he just simply was when his boyfriend was around.

alec was just everything that made jason feel comfortable and content in the world, something that he didn't know how he was able to obtain. everyone had things to get their mind off of the things that happened to them that day - kendall had her job and her partying, jagger had tattoos and sketches, zane had remedy, mickey had drinking and sex, and hell, even brad had his coding when he was too upset to actually go out and see people. but for a long time, jason had nothing. he had books and he had psychology and research but none of it made him happy. he was just able to ignore his problems and fears for a while - but he never felt happier the way others did when they found their stress relievers. he tried working out, he tried playing sports again, talking to old baseball buddies and just seeing if he could do something that was just...active. but none of it worked. everyone had their happy place but for a long time, jason lacked one.

now he knew where his was - it was in bed with the most beautiful man in the world, tracing patterns on his skin with his fingers, his tongue, his lips, sometimes talking and sometimes staying silent, just taking in the other's presence while the rest of the world just slipped from his mind. he loved alec. he loved him in a way that he couldn't have even fathomed before he met him and even though he'd read about love and studied what love was psychologically, it was nothing compared to actually feeling it. his happy place was with alec, his stress-free zone was his bedroom, and even though he knew the fluff and the lack of fighting couldn't last even if the fights were small and mostly shared through looks and lack of saying things more than saying too much, he knew that it was always going to be his happy place. without it, he didn't know where he'd be. without alec, he couldn't feel okay again.

which was why this was good. they were ready for this, they needed this. he felt his eyebrows raise when alec announced that he wanted to bottom though he sort of doubted it with the rushed way he said it. he knew alec liked to keep him safe - same as everyone else, even if it wasn't necessarily to that extent. but jason had already sat down and thought and planned and prepared himself for the possibility that he might bottom and he had come to accept that it was something he was ready to do. he was certain of it. alec...he didn't know. it didn't sound right. but his boyfriend then pulled him in closer and he grinned softly up at him and when he said again that he wanted to bottom jason knew there wasn't going to be any arguing about it. alec had made up his mind.

as for the lack of protection, it did make jason a little worried, but mainly just because of the spread of sexually transmitted infections. not that he thought they were going to give each other aids by having sex once but it was the idea or the possibility that made his heart jump. but he knew that alec was going for. he knew what he wanted and even though it made him blush, it was still a very touching thought and he kissed his boyfriend again when he was finished speaking, cupping his face with his hand. "i love you too," he told him when he pulled away. "i do. and that's not stupid at all. it's sweet." he kissed him again. "and if you're sure about...bottoming...i mean i-i just..." he took a deep breath. "that's okay. if you're positively sure about it. i don't want to hurt you, though, alec, i don't...i don't mind if you don't want to, i trust you."

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alec chase hoades]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 330px; border-right: 20px solid #000033; background-image:url(http://i1059.photobucket.com/albums/t422/TechnicAware/Apple%20Headphones/BackgroundBlueMetal.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] we found love in a hopeless place, yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side, and your shadow crosses mind, what it takes to come alive, it's the way i'm feeling i just can't deny, but i've gotta let it go most people who would look at the pair of jason wilson and alec hoades would think that there was something that didn't quite fit with them. maybe it was because jason was so tightly wound like a top that if let go would spin for hours and alec was so relaxed. jason was going to be something important with his life while alec would probably just sell pot until the day that he died. they were opposites in so many ways. so different in so many ways that should've mattered, but none of those things mattered. it didn't matter that alec was the most laid back son of a bitch and jason was a twitchy rabbit of a boy. no differences between them could keep them apart, because what alec loved about jason was so much more. it was the jason that he got when it was just the two of them. the boy that he got to lay with. the boy that he got to kiss, to explore with. he had lost count of how many hours he had just spent curled up to jason, or laying with him passing the time in silence, or with those somehow still innocent touches, or conversation. they never ran out of things to talk about. and there wasn't much use for searching for things to talk about when alec was more than content just being close to him. he was sure that tony had noticed that he'd been spending more time at jason's than he had been spending at home. it was just, it was so nice. and waking up next to jason was the most beautiful thing that alec had ever experienced. even if his alarm clock would sometimes go off at insane hours. jason had his routines, he had his way of things, and really, alec didn't mind. he just let himself mold into them. filling up the empty spaces and more than willing to make himself totally available for whenever jason wanted to see him. of course there were those days where he couldn't leave work, or he had things that he needed to do, but that didn't mean that they weren't in almost constant contact. tony had made a joke about them burning out quickly if they spent this much time together. but not for one second did alec think that could be true because, well, he just couldn't get enough of his boyfriend. this wasn't just some phase. it couldn't be. there was no way that he was going to wake up one morning and be bored of jason, or annoyed with him. because, he was perfect. not in the way that most of the people in the world could see, but in the way that he knew. and maybe it was only him that knew it, but fuck if he cared one way or another about it. because, jason was perfect in his eyes. even with everything about him that most people would think would be flaws. right then, in that moment with jason, he couldn't imagine being with anyone else in his life. he couldn't imagine laying with anyone else, or discussing this with anyone else. jason was his everything. he was his forever, and he knew it, he just fucking knew it. so yeah, he was willing to take this step with him. he was willing to take their relationship to another level because jason was perfect, and he loved him, and he was his everything, and his life would just be incomplete without him. that was all that there was to it. and if jason needed anything in the world to feel more comfortable about taking this step with him, alec would willingly give it. even if it was just to openly talk about it as they were. with each little touch that jason gave to him though, alec found himself scooting his body closer to jason's own until the bare flesh of their torsos were touching. shirt removal having been seeming long dubbed as mandatory when they were in the room just the two of them. and there was a shock of electricity when flesh touched upon flesh that caused alec to smile if only a bit wider into his kiss. "look jason, if you want me to go get tested before we...ya know. i can. i'm not insulted over it," he spoke softly before kissing him again. "i just don't want you worrying about anything when it happens. and i know you," he spoke in that loving tone before running his fingers through jason's hair. a sincere smile took over alec's lips at jason's next words and he couldn't keep himself from kissing the boy again. "i'm sure baby. i want to bottom the first time. i'm glad that you trust me though. and we'll have all the time in the world for both of us to have either role. and every single time it'll be amazing. i promise." with that he kissed him again, deeper this time, his fingers going into his hair and holding jason's face to his own as his mouth moved against jason's own, his tongue moving in gently to dance with jason's. if there was anything that he loved about jason, it was simply kissing him. every time felt like the first. and alec never wanted the kisses to end. so for this one, he simply didn't end it. tag || RENEE/JASON || words || 9 0 3 || outfit || PFFT || notes || yay cotton candy

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TEMPLATE BY ANYA OF CAUTION 2.0
LYRICS BY RIHANNA[/center]

[jason allen wilson]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: KIT/ALEC OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: COTTON CANDY!

he hadn't ever once dreamed about feeling like this. when jason thought about love, he thought maybe he'd find someone to just quiet the ache for a while. someone who could drive him to the hospital when his panic attacks got too bad to manage, someone who could deal with his weird schedules, and someone who didn't mind that he never wanted to do anything even remotely sexual...ever. hell, before jason met alec, he'd never even had a sexual fantasy. he couldn't see himself ever...moving forward in a relationship. he hadn't even gotten to the point in his young life where he could think of anything that made dealing with his hormones in private any easier. it was always a painful, shameful process and he had reached the point where he just figured he was this asexual mess who just didn't know how to handle...anything.

then along came alec and suddenly his entire life was just...changed. he had never kissed someone on the first date before - he had certainly never had a first date within a few hours of knowing someone. and from there he had never wanted so badly to just kiss someone forever, to press his lips against his over and over and over and never stop. he had never felt so content in his own skin. he had always been insecure. growing up even in locker rooms with his team he never felt okay with changing, letting other people see him even slightly uncovered. he used to shower with swimming trunks on after practice, sometimes even a white shirt if he wanted to just get in and out of there as quickly as possible. some days he skipped showering altogether, waited until he got home where no one could see him. but with alec, he never felt like he wasn't enough. he never felt ugly or out of shape or insecure even though if there was anyone in the world who should make him feel like that in comparison, it was alec hoades. with alec, jason just felt loved, taken care of, wanted. and even if it was too soon to call it love, he couldn't think of anything closer to it.

knowing now that he found someone who he wanted to further his relationship with, knowing that that same someone was willing, was something he had never thought he would experience. his heart was warmed just knowing that he had this amazing man in his life, this man who would lay with him in bed, who would be patient with him and take things at his pace. knowing there was this beautiful, beautiful man who wanted him and only him was beyond anything that he had ever experienced in the world and it was strange to think that there was a time when he could be with someone for longer than he'd even known alec and not have these same feelings. he had just never met anyone like him before - someone so willing to deal with him, someone who seemed to understand him, someone who made him smile and laugh and feel for once like he was just a normal kid.

and yet there alec was and jason was so grateful for it. when he said that he'd get tested before they ever did anything a wide grin broke out over his features. not that he thought alec needed to be tested - no if he did he would never have let his mouth go near...but that wasn't a thought he needed to be thinking then and there. but knowing that his boyfriend was willing to do anything to make him feel secure was nice, knowing that he didn't have to say a thing and that alec just knew was heartwarming and he thought to himself that he had never made a wiser decision in his life than when he decided to let alec take him out for ice cream that one day. he understood him. his little quirks, his anxiety, the way everything had to be just....perfect. and though jason didn't think he needed to be tested, alec offering to do such a thing was so damn cute that it was hard to believe they hadn't had this conversation earlier.

and his insistence to bottom...he would admit it. he was relieved. he had prepared himself for the possibility that it might be something that he had to go through. and one day, he would go through it - he knew they would because that was something that he wanted to experience, giving himself up like that to alec so totally and completely. but knowing he didn't have to be the one to do it the first time was relieving. every sexual experience that he had with this man was his first. every single one. he wanted to make them good memories that would last; he didn't want any of the ones that friends of his had, the ones that made noah's expression get a bit vacant when he brought them up, the ones that even kendall refused to talk about. with alec, he wanted nothing bad and though he knew he could and would take any pain for his boyfriend...he just didn't want it tainted. he didn't want that possibility.

so his offer was sweet, his insistence beautiful, and when he kissed him again, jason pulled him tight against him, his fingers digging slightly into his shoulder blades as he pressed forward to return his kiss. he had never experienced a feeling like this, had never thought he'd one day be lying in bed, bare chest to bare chest with another man while he kissed him so freely, so openly without any hesitance in the world. he loved his man. he loved him in a way he never dreamed could exist, wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. when he pulled away, it was only to press heated kisses to alec's chin, his jaw, his neck. "i love you," he said against his skin then he kissed up his neck again to make contact with his lips. "and i am so...so happy to take this step with you, alec. you're the only one i ever want to take this step with." he pressed his forehead to his and smiled slightly. "and if you want to get tested, go ahead but i know...i know you're clean. and i know that you are going to do everything you can to make me feel secure about this and it's one of the many reasons that i love you, alec hoades." he pressed his lips again in another fleeting kiss. "and i have never been more excited to share an experience like this with you. with anybody. you are...so perfect." he pressed up close against him. "even if it's just to me."

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alec chase hoades]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 330px; border-right: 20px solid #000033; background-image:url(http://i1059.photobucket.com/albums/t422/TechnicAware/Apple%20Headphones/BackgroundBlueMetal.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] we found love in a hopeless place, yellow diamonds in the light and we're standing side by side, and your shadow crosses mind, what it takes to come alive, it's the way i'm feeling i just can't deny, but i've gotta let it go jason was everything that alec had never known that he needed. everything that was missing in his life that he hadn't even been aware of until his eyes landed on him that day. he still didn't know how to put words to how it had felt when he had first rested his eyes on jason wilson. sure, kendall was gorgeous. and he was more than happy to come home with the girl to smoke a bowl. maybe get laid. who knew. but what he hadn't expected was to walk into the house, see jason from across the room, and then knew, just know, that the other boy was the love of his life. that was all that there was to it. he knew it from the moment that he met him. he knew that he loved him. and he knew that it sounded stupid and like one of those things that only happened in disney movies, but it was the truth. he knew that he needed to be with jason wilson if it was the only thing that he did in life. and every feeling that he had felt, every little hinting notion of how wonderful their relationship was going to be, it was all right. there was not one wrong thing thus far. and part of alec wondered if they really had just been born for one another. for as many so called flaws as jason had, as both of them had because alec most certainly wasn't a perfect person when it well and came down to it. there was a perfection formed though in the combination of their imperfections. and alec dared anyone to say that what he and jason had wasn't something perfect. he'd never seen a relationship like the one that they had. not once in his life had he ever encountered something even similar to what they had. because even on those rare occasions that they fought, they didn't really blow up. neither of them really wanting to take a fight that far between them. they were open, with their feelings. with everything. not on a controlling way, but in a way of they simply always knew what the other person was doing. at this point jason even knew what he did for a living and though he had seen the nervous look in his boyfriend's features, he was supportive of that too. as much as he could be at least. and alec was more than willing to be sober when he was around jason, because really, he got high off of just knowing the boy. being around him. feeling his skin, or inhaling his scent. jason was a drug all on his own. one that alec knew he would never have to quit. learning jason's ways hadn't been all that hard. getting used to those little things about him that made him how he was. he caught on pretty early to the face that he had anxiety, and it didn't bother him. he was more than aware of those little things that most people would freak out over. because not a lot of people could deal with someone like jason. not that alec thought he was difficult, but in this world. most people didn't like having to take things at a slow pace. most people were too wrapped up in the sex to really fall in love with someone the way that alec and jason had let themselves fall in love. true enough in all of alec's previous relationships things had moved a lot faster than they were with jason. but that was more than fine with him. it made everything all the better. made every little thing that he shared with jason mean so much more than it would've otherwise. and really, he'd been prepared to wait longer. when jason brought it up, he hadn't been expecting it. but all he could do was smile. be happy. and think of everything that might make him more comfortable about it. settle whatever nerves that his boy had about it. it was a simple decision to get a test. even if he knew that he would be clean. it was just a matter of making sure that jason was comfortable. that his nerves were settled. he wanted this to be a good experience for the two of them. he wanted nothing but happiness and pleasure to come from this. because it was what jason deserved, and so much fucking more. because jason was perfect. so he held him close and let his fingers move over his back in a lazy fashion. a soft moan escaped his lips when jason pressed those heated kisses to his skin, and they left a tingling sensation every place that they touched, making him long for more. it was wonderful. the way that just being kissed by this man could do so much to him. how his lips just made him feel like he was on cloud nine. his lips spread into a wide smile after returning the kiss. "i love you jase," he spoke back softly and gazed into his eyes feeling his heart start to race as it always tended to do when they were close like this. "being with you makes me wish that i'd never been with anyone before," he said in an honest whisper more than happily pulling jason's body tighter against his own. "we both know that i'm clean. but i'd much rather have you have one hundred percent complete peace of mind, babe. i don't want anything bad to happen in that pretty head of yours while we're sharing this." it was simple enough to him at least because jason deserved to have his first time having sex be perfect. he returned the small kiss, that smile on his lips staying. "i love you, jason. and i'm okay with being perfect for you. wouldn't want there to be anyone who could better fill my spot ya know?" he spoke in teasing tones and then kissed him again. "so, was there anything else noah said we should do. to, ya know, prepare?" he asked, because really, he couldn't believe that noah would leave it at just make sure that they communicate about things. tag || RENEE/JASON || words || 1 0 3 9 || outfit || PFFT || notes || yay cotton candy

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TEMPLATE BY ANYA OF CAUTION 2.0
LYRICS BY RIHANNA[/center]