save me from the dark (Liam)

[scott caleb holloway]

Music had been the savior the past few days, the right music could make or break a day for Scott. It all just depended on what kind of music he put on. The day had started out pretty decently, there was a drizzle of rain in the air when he woke up and he'd always found the rain soothing even if it tended to be more of a strain on his health the days it rained. The first hour and a half of his day had been spent sitting in the hot tub and letting himself soak, feeling the tension that usually lived in his entire body slip away at least for those moments in the tub. He'd been listening to some feel good music, which to him usually included some power metal of some sort or symphonic metal. Oh he liked other things too but somehow the speed and force of power metal just made him feel happy. Well that was as happy as he could feel lately, there was constantly that empty space in his chest, the space that had been occupied by Jack, who was now gone.

However the whole didn't seem all consuming today which was a refreshing feeling. As always some days were worse than others, this seemed to be an alright day. There had been no nightmares about the car accident and he hadn't woken up with the urge to tell Jack something. Those days were the worst. Waking up and wanting to tell his family something only to realize they weren't there to tell. Today he planned on spending most of the day on his biology work because he was fairly far behind. His back had been acting up seriously badly the last few days and it had left him with little energy to do much. Today seemed better. In fact, as far as he could tell, today felt pretty good. Well as good as good got for him anyway. Getting out of the tub he sighed, he could have spent the entire day in there if he'd been allowed to, however there was work to be done.

Getting dressed he headed for his desk, now Scott's desk wasn't that regular kind with a chair by it, no actually it was one of those that can be moved up so one can stand perfectly comfortably and work that way. Sitting wasn't his thing anymore. It was either laying down or standing up that was his working positions, and today he felt like standing up. So he got to work. After a few hours the weather shifted and suddenly there was sun and nice weather and ironically enough for Scott, his mood shifted from light to dark. Sunshine always got him down, maybe it was because everyone was supposed to be happy on sunny days. Maybe it was because of the fun he used to have with his family on those days, or maybe it was just some fucked up psychological mishap that was tied to the depressions he'd been in since the accident, either way it flipped his mood upside down.

The weather had also flipped and with it his back was acting up. Shifting weather conditions gave him no favors. A small sigh escaped him as he closed his book and went to lie down on the floor, stretching out, making a face as he moved because honestly it hurt. Once perfectly flat on the ground he closed his eyes. Great, why couldn't it just have stayed rainy? Oh well, at least he'd managed to catch up on his reading and at least some of the work he needed to get done. Thankfully his teachers were very lenient towards him and usually had no issues giving him extensions on his deadlines whenever needed. It wasn't as though he was going to finish his education in a normal timespan, he knew that. They knew that. He'd end up taking at least another year or two compared to most people, but at least he had his job with modeling to fall back on if he wasn't able to finish school.

Oh fuck! Looking at the time he realized he had a photo shoot today that he'd almost forgotten about. Grabbing his jacket he headed out the door in a hurry, gritting his teeth as he got on his segway and headed off to work. A few hours later he was back, and almost as soon as he got through the door he collapsed down onto the small mat on the floor that he'd usually lie on if he needed to be on the floor. At least he'd been able to grab some food on the way back home so he didn't have to worry about being hungry. Taiko walked over to him and placed his head on his shoulder. "Hey there" he muttered softly and leaned his head against the dog's head. "did you at least have a good day Taiko?" he asked, then allowed his head to lean further against the dog, closing his eyes, a single tear soaking into the white fur as he slipped off into a light sleep.

[liam malachai ford]

[atrb=style,background-image: url('http://www.desktopwallpaperhd.com/wallpapers/27/23276.jpg');,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][cs=2] if i leave my heart with you tonight promise me that you're gonna treat it right.

some days were harder than others, and for a boy who could only remember the past two years of his life it seemed that there were more bad days than good ones. days where people gave him disappointed looks. days where his mother seemed to be having a harder time of all of it than she liked to lead on. days where he crossed the boy who was supposed to have been his boyfriend before he lost his memory on campus. it seemed that damn near everywhere he went he was reminded of just how much he disappointed everyone. just how much so many of those who had been close to him before had distanced themselves because they couldn't handle whoever he was now. some days, were just like a living hell. the kind of days that made him wish that he'd never survived but instead had been killed in that accident. he thought that the afterlife had to be better than this, and from what people told him about himself he was a good person. if one were to ask liam if he thought he was still a good person, he would say that he thought so. after all, it wasn't like he was a bad person because he couldn't remember people. it wasn't like he did it intentionally, that was just what had happened. the cards that he'd been dealt. and maybe it had caused him to have a little less faith in god, not that he was certain he believed in god before his accident, but he couldn't see why god would do this to him. why some heavenly father would put him through all this hell. losing just about every person who had meant something to him, though, he couldn't remember what it was that they meant. this, was not a life that he would wish on anyone. especially with every day that he didn't remember, it was just another day that his mother lost more and more hope of ever getting her baby boy back. that day had been one of those days where his mother had gotten some fire under her ass though. something in her had caused her to decide that she was going to try something different. or well, not really something different because she'd had him watch family videos before, but fuck, it didn't get much easier every time that she did it. no matter how many times she would have him watch a video, or look at pictures, or anything like that, it didn't help. he didn't miraculously remember his life, or the people in it, or any of that shit. he just didn't. more than anything it had become frustrating to have to sit there time and time again and be forced to watch this person who was supposed to be a younger version of him. but it was just like watching a movie. there was no attachment. there was no recall of the events. he was just watching some kid run around the yard, or blow out candles, or whatever else was on the videos. all it had taken, though, was that look on his mother's face when she realized that it hadn't been working to cause him to leave for the day. he wasn't sure where he was going to go. he didn't have any classes or anything like that. he pretty much could go or do anything that he wanted, but he had no idea what that might be. so, liam did what he had done on so many days. he'd put headphones in his ears, and then let his feet lead the way to where ever it was that he was going to go. not that he had any clue of that. when he did arrive at a familiar apartment building though he felt a small smile take over his lips. he straightened his glasses on the bridge of his nose before he came up to that all too familiar apartment. there was a quick knock on the door before he opened it just a crack. "hey, it's liam. can i come in?" he called in. he assumed that scott was probably laying on the ground, it wasn't an uncommon place for him. scott, he was something great. some sort of escape for the boy. someone that he'd met in group therapy after he'd had his accident, and he supposed that one could call scott his sponsor of sorts. more than anything, he was a friend. a friend that he didn't let down just by the fact that prior to two years ago, he had no memory. scott, well, he was quite possibly the best thing that liam had in his life. if he were to be completely honest. LISTEN UP! THIS POST IS FOR LIV/SCOTT. IT HAS 794 WORDS. HE/SHE IS CURRENTLY WEARING THIS. BY THE WAY, LOLWUT?. OH, AND THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY DUCK DUCK'S NOT A GOOSE

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[scott caleb holloway]

With the light sleep came the restless and earth shattering nightmare of the car crash and soon he was muttering and moving in his sleep, more tears streaming down his cheeks. Taiko started wining but he seemed unsure if he was going to wake Scott up or not, but for the moment the dog left the boy sleeping. This was why he hated sleep, sleep came with dreams and dreams were usually nightmares about the crash. Seeing his parents unmoving and his brother with a massive piece of glass through his chest on the hood of the car, it was horrible. Absolutely fucking horrible, and there was no way of escape, he was just stuck, watching the whole scene again, re-living the feeling it gave him and the horrible realization that he was alone. He woke with a start when there was a knock on the door and Taiko hurried over and growled until he heard the familiar voice drifting through the door.

Reaching up he wiped his eyes, though honestly it was more than obvious he'd been crying, because he still was and he was having issues holding back the sobs that wanted to tear from his throat. Clearing his throat he wiped at his eyes a second time, with not much use. "Hey, uhm... yeah, come on in" he said, he sounded miserable, but at least his voice had managed not to crack, and at least the voice he heard through the door was familiar and someone he trusted and didn't mind the company of, even when he was miserable. "I'm on the floor" he added, not that he didn't think Liam already figured as much since the door was unlocked and Taiko came to the door rather than him doing that himself. God he felt absolutely fucking miserable, but the idea of hanging out with Liam cheered him up a little bit. It was so comfortable being around the guy, even when he was feeling bad. The thing is that the two of them just had a special friendship where they could be themselves and wouldn't judge each other for being upset or even for crying.

"If you want something to drink or something, just grab yourself something in the kitchen. Actually, if you don't mind, could you grab me a coke?" he asked, his voice still a bit shaky and miserable, but hey, this wasn't the first time he'd been miserable around Liam, it wasn't something he worried too much about. Taiko came back over to him and licked his face before laying down next to him and leaning his dog head against Scott's. "sssh.. it's alright Taiko, I'll be fine." he reassured the dog, who always seemed to get really worried whenever Scott was feeling miserable. "Actually feel free to grab whatever you want in there, there should be some food in the fridge or some snacks in the cabinet of some sorts. I don't really want anything right now, but you can have whatever you feel like in there." he said before sighing and closing his eyes, waiting to find out what Liam was gonna do.

Actually, he realized just now that he really loved the fact that Liam had chosen this moment to come over. He could do with a guy's night and maybe they could watch some movies and hand out. Talking was also an obvious part of their night, they always spent just hours talking about everything and anything, and more often than not they also spent some time talking about the things that troubled them. Liam's memory, his own loss of family, it was tough subjects but it was something they did to help each other feel better. Sometimes it just helped to be allowed to talk about it, to tell each other how upset they were and how alone they felt and then realize they weren't alone because they had each other to talk to and spend time with. Liam was one of the really good things that had come out of it all. The guy had been more help than Scott could ever even begin to explain, and thinking about it made a tiny smile cross his face even as tears were still leaking from his eyes.

[liam malachai ford]

[atrb=style,background-image: url('http://www.desktopwallpaperhd.com/wallpapers/27/23276.jpg');,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][cs=2] if i leave my heart with you tonight promise me that you're gonna treat it right.

after knowing scott for as long as he had he was more than aware of those little clues that could point out how that friend of his was feeling from one day to the next. just little things, that most people wouldn't be able to pick up on until they got to know him. the first one being that the door was unlocked, which really more than anything told him where his pain level was at. obviously so much so that he didn't feel like getting up. then when taiko came to the door instead of the young man that he belonged to that let him know just where scott might be before his voice even came to his ears. when the greeting did come, though, he knew exactly where the boy was. a small frown crossed his features, after all, he didn't like knowing that his friend was in pain. even if there wasn't much that he could do about it. after entering the apartment his hand reached down to scratch behind taiko's ears for a moment before shutting the door and greeting the door with a hello. just by the sound of scott's voice he knew that his back was bothering him pretty badly today. that and maybe he had just been sleeping. either way, he could hear the tears in his friend's voice before he even had seen him. liam supposed that was a nice thing about their friendship. they were always able to tell where each other was at and they were just accepting of it. it wasn't a big deal. sure, he'd made a few friends at the support group that he'd joined after the accident, but there was a bond that he had with scott that was so much more. in a lot of ways, scott was the best friend that he had now that he didn't remember all his friends from the past and the better part of them had decided to leave his life instead of stand by him. but scott, he had been there. and really, it was nice not having the pressure that came when he could actually remember the extent of their friendship. he nodded even though the other boy couldn't see him and made his way into the kitchen. "yeah, i can grab you one," he called to him before grabbing a soda for both of them and then making his way into the living room. as was usual for liam he took a seat beside him on the floor, much prefering to be at the level with the other boy than to be looking down at him. besides, most of the time when he was around scott he just liked to be as close to him as possible. truth be told, he found comfort in his presence. like some sort of reminder that even though things sucked a lot of the time, and even though there were shitty days like the one that he had just had to put up with, there were still a lot of good days and a lot of good people. scott, was one of those good people. "back buggin ya?" he asked concern laced in his tone after he rested his back on the couch and opened his soda taking a short drink off of the liquid. even though he'd come over to scott's house to have someone to talk to about his shitty day that in no way meant that he wasn't going to make sure that scott was alright first. that was just how things worked between the two of them. always had been, always would be he supposed. end right then with scott laying on the ground and tears streaming down his face, scott took priority in liam's brain. LISTEN UP! THIS POST IS FOR LIV/SCOTT. IT HAS 630 WORDS. HE/SHE IS CURRENTLY WEARING THIS. BY THE WAY, LOLWUT?. OH, AND THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY DUCK DUCK'S NOT A GOOSE

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[scott caleb holloway]

As he heard Liam head towards the kitchen he closed his eyes and tried to stop his tears, but really there was no use. Despite the tears though, he managed a small smile when Liam walked into his view. "Thanks. Yeah, the shift in weather earlier didn't do my back much good, and I had a photo shoot to go to, which didn't make things any better" he said honestly, there really was no point in lying or painting a pretty picture for Liam. First of all, the guy would know he was lying, secondly, he didn't feel like Liam would ever judge him for having a bad day, in fact the guy was one of the few people he could count on to not do that. Most people would look at him and think that he should at least have moved on emotionally by now. His back of course wasn't something he could do anything about, but most people seemed to think depression was something people could just choose to get over whenever they wanted to.

Letting out a soft sigh he rubbed at his eyes, again without much luck. "I was having an nightmare" he explained, no apologizing for his crying, or anything of the sort. Just a simple explanation that would tell Liam without a doubt what was wrong aside from his back hurting. "I'll be alright in a bit. I'm glad you stopped by though." there was an honesty to that statement that couldn't be denied. Slowly he shifted to his side, gritting his teeth, forehead knotting as he shifted, his back didn't like the movement. Reaching out he took the other soda and opened it, taking a long drink before putting the can on the floor and letting out a soft sigh. "I always enjoy your company." he added, not sure why he felt the need to say that, but it was true and it was accompanied by a warm smile that despite the tears actually reached his eyes.

"So, what brought you my way today?" he said, looking at the guy more closely and picking up on the small hints that Liam wasn't having the best of days either. Something about the way he held his shoulders, and a look in the guy's eyes even if they were currently filled with concern more than anything else. "Having a bad day too huh?" he asked, though it was more of a statement than an actual question, since he already knew the answer. Unlike his shifting to his side, the movement back to his back was abrupt and more of a flop than a movement, his back really wasn't allowing him much control of the movement and a wince crossed his face and he bit his lip a little. "Wanna tell me about it?" honestly he didn't mind listening, it wasn't like they could do much about his nightmares anyway and listening to Liam may help that sick feeling the nightmare had left in his stomach.

[liam malachai ford]

[atrb=style,background-image: url('http://www.desktopwallpaperhd.com/wallpapers/27/23276.jpg');,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][cs=2] if i leave my heart with you tonight promise me that you're gonna treat it right.

it was hard to liam to not worry about scott. sure, it was true enough that there was nothing that anyone could really do when it came to his back. it was always going to be messed up, he was always going to have hard days, and there really wasn't a lot that anyone could do about it. no matter how much liam would love to take away his friend's pain. because scott was a good guy. and he was a sweet guy, and he didn't deserve the shitty hand that life had laid out for him. he didn't deserve it at all. and liam knew that. then again, most people would say the same thing about him. though, he would say that scott got it worse. maybe not to everyone, but he felt like he did. sure, not being able to remember shit sucked, but at least he didn't have to remember something like losing his family members. then again, liam didn't like to sit there thinking about their situations, and who had it worse, like it was some kind of fucked up pissing match. more than anything, he just wanted to the pain to go away for scott. especially right then while he watched him move to his side and saw the pain in his face. "well if there's anything i can do, you know i'm more than willing," he offered. sure, he had been taught a bit of the pressure point stuff, but he at least didn't think he was that good. an understanding smile took over his lips. though he rarely had dreams, or at least rarely had ones that he remembered. and since he'd woken up he couldn't remember having a nightmare. then again, his whole life left like a nightmare in a lot of ways. he was just waiting for the day when someone he knew crossed paths with him, and he wouldn't remember them. it happened more often than some would think. and every time it was hard. to look at them like he didn't understand. to just stare, and knit his brows, and be completely confused. "i'm sorry, man," he spoke in soft tones before taking a drink of his own soda and resting his forearms on his knees keeping his attention focused on his friend. "well, ya know, i'm always cool with hanging out with you. if you ever need me to just, ya know, stop by or whatever, just call. even if it's just because you're having a shitty day," he reminded the other boy with an easy smile on his lips before taking off his hat to ruffle his hair then replace the hat on the brown locks. "you wanna talk about it? or just move past it?" he asked looking at the other boy with soft eyes. liam took another drink of his soda before raising his brows at scott's question. if there was one thing that he loved about scott, it was that he could just be honest with him. they could talk to simply about anything and everything. which was why he came to scott's in the first place. he was having a shitty day. and scott was pretty much the only person that he had to talk to that didn't make him feel some sort of guilt because he couldn't remember things. he remembered everything that had happened to him when it came to scott. given they'd only known each other since around the time that he'd woken up. "yeah actually," he said with a bit of a sigh before taking another drink of his soda and then biting the inside of his cheek. "sure, i mean, i guess that's why i came over. deep down." then came another sigh in which was followed by fingers going through his hair and a straightening of his glasses so they sat more accurately on the bridge of his nose. "mom has been showing me movies of me as a kid all day, hoping to trigger something. it's just, it's fucking hard sometimes. because, like, i've accepted i may never remember. but she just pushes and pushes and pushes. like i'm not good enough....like i'm not the same person. and she just wants her kid back. i feel like i'm a stranger to her." liam paused taking his bottom lip in his teeth. "sometimes i don't even think she likes me." LISTEN UP! THIS POST IS FOR LIV/SCOTT. IT HAS 733 WORDS. HE/SHE IS CURRENTLY WEARING THIS. BY THE WAY, LOLWUT?. OH, AND THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY DUCK DUCK'S NOT A GOOSE

[/COLOR] AT CAUTION 2.0. DON'T STEAL. IT'S DOUCHEY.[/COLOR][/div][/center][/td][/tr]
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[scott caleb holloway]

Another soft smile crossed his lips as he looked at Liam. The guy he'd come to care so much about through the short while they'd known each other. In fact it hadn't taken long for Scott to consider Liam one of his best friends, there was just something about the guy that made him feel comfortable. Even now, with tears still streaming down his face, the fact that Liam was just there made him feel much better. Strange, how the presence of one person could make such a big difference. "Yeah I know you'll help if I need anything, don't worry I'll probably take you up on that, but first I think we should get some talking done, besides, I'm decently alright here on the floor for now." he said, his eyes looking at Liam with concern, yeah there definitely was something the guy was upset about, and to say he didn't like it was the understatement of the year. Scott never liked when his friends were upset, but even more so when that friend was Liam, because he really didn't deserve any of the pain that came with not remembering people.

"Nah, I'm good, I'd rather just try to forget about it, it's the same thing as always anyway, nothing new about it." he said, but even the mention of the dream had his voice cracking dangerously, and renewed tears flowing down his cheeks in rivers. "I may ask you to help me find out if some of the pressure point things I thought you will help later though" he admitted with a small smile through the tears. "But let's focus on you for a bit alright? My stuff can wait, and you seem like you need to talk" he said. That was another thing he loved about being around Liam, whenever one of them was upset, they often very quickly calculated what was more urgent and went with that, they'd get to all the problems eventually and so there was no need to worry about not getting to talk about things. There was always time for both of them, and if there wasn't usually Liam would just spend the night and they'd continue into the night or the next morning.

A small frown crossed his face as he listened to what Liam had to say. It baffled him how insensitive his friends and family could be about all of this. It was clear to him that Liam obviously wasn't purposefully making himself forget these things and so why would they try forcing it on him? It was so obvious to him that those actions upset the guy and it was strange to him that it wouldn't be obvious to the rest. He almost wanted to yell at Liam's mother for putting him through these things. Sure, he knew that it was bound to be upsetting having her son forget everything about his life before, but at the same time, she was his mother, shouldn't she love him no matter what? At least that's what Scott thought it should mean and it pissed him off that the woman made it so obvious that she wanted her old Liam back. "Of course she likes you Liam" he said soothingly.

Slowly and very painfully Scott rolled onto his stomach and from there barely managed to push himself up on all fours. The movement was excruciating but that didn't change the fact that there was something he needed to do. As soon as he was up on all four he gritted his teeth and moved over to Liam. Once there he pushed his way to his legs and flopped down on the floor next to Liam so he could wrap his arms around the other guy in a surprisingly strong hug for someone in the amount of pain he was in right now. "She'll come along and accept things for what they are soon enough. And there is no way she's not going to love the you that you are now, because you're just amazing." he whispered softly into Liam's ear. "She just has to forget about the fact that you can't remember and get to know who you are now to see that."

After a while his back just couldn't handle it anymore and he let go of the hug, pushing himself back down on the floor, resting his head on Liam's thigh. This was something they'd done many times before and it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to be doing. Wiping at his eyes, he finally succeeded on wiping his tears again and looked up at his friend. "They'll come along, all of them, just give it some time, and if things don't settle down, you can always come stay here for a while if you'd like. I promise I won't make you watch any movies other than the ones made by a director and put on a dvd or a blu-ray" he said and managed a smile. He wasn't really trying to make light of things, he was just trying to get a smile from his friend.