DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE, JUST LISTEN ``

[jason allen wilson]

jason was terrified. not that that was anything new or anything - jason was terrified about ninety-nine point nine percent of the time and though alec had been doing a lot to ease his fears, there were some things his boyfriend had no control over. like his brother. and his brother's temper. and the fact that his brother was more psychologically messed up than most people cared to stop and think about. because jagger honestly never thought he was yelling as loud as he was or that he seemed as angry as he did. he thought when he was doing things like yelling, it was showing how he felt and being open, and he thought that he was somehow being productive in letting everyone know exactly how he felt.

but he wasn't. and shit, jason knew he wasn't and he had sat back for five long years and watched jagger get worse and worse and worse. and he hadn't said anything for the simple fact that he was scared to death of his older brother - more than he was afraid of germs, diseases, death, girls, losing alec, and airplanes.

he figured, though, with the way that alec was helping him lately, making him more bold, giving him strength he didn't know he had...maybe it was time to talk to jagger about his problems. especially since he had finally overheard for the first time in his life jagger going off on somebody that he was dating.

that was where jason drew the line. because he knew that jagger loved cain. he knew that jagger loved cain so much that it was stupid and it had been obvious for a very, very long time though they had all pretty much attributed that to the fact that they shared a bond over basically saving one another's lives. jagger would be nothing without cain, and cain would be lost without jagger, and these were just the simple facts of life. but sometimes it was hard for everyone to see that because they were constantly bickering and at one another's throats. when they were just friends, you know, that was fine. but they were dating now. they were dating and though jason didn't have a lot of dating experience, he knew it would break his heart if he and alec began to act anything like jagger and cain acted toward one another. it was wrong; it was unhealthy. it needed to stop.

so that afternoon, jason decided to tell alec to take lunch with tony instead of coming to see him, and instead of spending his usual lunch break with his boyfriend, he headed down to his brother's tattoo shop and said as boldly as he could manage that he was taking jagger to lunch.

he'd gotten some looks, mainly from cain because evidently the two were still just avoiding the problem at hand and were acting like everything was peachy. which was fine - he expected it. sometimes, though, a little brother just needed some time with his older brother and he told them so. and it was that, that got jagger to kiss cain, threaten the other two with their lives if they said anything to upset him while he was gone, and get in the driver's seat of jason's car because he'd be damned if he was going to let his little brother drive him around. good. phase one complete. now jason just had to keep up the confidence long enough to tell jagger he was a shitty boyfriend. easy.

"so what's this really about, baby j?" jagger asked casually as he drove, glancing at jason quickly before focusing his gaze back on the road. "i know you didn't really just give up a lunch sucking face with the labrador retriever you call a boyfriend just to come see me at work."

jason's gaze immediately narrowed at the shot at his boyfriend, but he tried not to let it shake the psuedo-confidence he was managing to put on. "no," he said, "you're right. sometimes alec just needs some time with tony. best friend stuff, like when i hang out with del." he bit his lip. "and i wanted to talk to you. about last night."

a curious look came onto jagger's features then, like a mixture of fear, disgust, and panic. an odd reaction to being called out on fighting with your boyfriend but jason wasn't going to stop to ask questions. "i...see. you know, jason, i don't know how you found out about...uhm..." he trailed off with an obviously fake cough which was un-jagger-like as it was. jason's brow furrowed.

"well i mean it was pretty loud," he went on to say and was surprised when jagger had to slam on his brakes to avoid running a red light - something that had become a big deal to him in the past weeks - due to a coughing fit. "i mean none of us can really expect people not to hear."

"well it's a very private thing," jagger replied, shifting uncomfortably. "i mean, me and cain usually try to like...keep it down at least..."

"not last night," jason shot back and if anything jagger just got even more uncomfortable looking. "jesus, jagger, what's the matter with you? you know it's not the first time we've all overheard you and cain going at it."

"holy fucking jesus tits, jason, when the fuck did you get so bold?" there was no mistaking how uncomfortable jagger was now, but his words hit jason where they needed to. the younger wilson quieted down until jagger pulled into the driveway to cod's, where the wilson trio usually sat down to eat together when they needed a private moment. and even then he remained quiet until they'd gotten themselves seated and jagger was hiding from him behind a menu.

"it's just hard," he said softly, pulling down the top of the menu in an attempt to get jagger to put it down, "hearing you two fight. it's one thing for you to yell at your friends, jagger, but cain's your boyfriend. you can't treat him like that anymore."

jagger stared at him for a moment in disbelief, as if he couldn't really believe what he was hearing. "wait," he said, "you were talking about mine and cain's fight?"

"well yeah," jason responded with a raise of his eyebrows. "alec and i heard you fighting all the way downstairs, it was really upsetting. i mean alec had to find a way to distract...." he trailed off, brow furrowing. "wait, what were you talking about?"

"nothing," jagger responded quickly. "i mean, yeah, our fight, i was talking about our fight, our fight was definitely the only problem last night. we were totally in the wrong, jason, we get that, this was a nice talk."

jason stared at him for a few moments, thoroughly confused, but he decided not to push it. it was bad enough that he was going to be telling jagger how to treat cain; he didn't need to go prying into their lives any more than he had to. "alright," he said slowly. "well, back to my original point...you can't talk to cain like that, jagger. i know you think you're helping or furthering your cause or whatever but you're not. you're upsetting him. he's not...your best friend anymore. i mean he is," he added quickly at jagger's indignant expression, "but he's more than that. he's your boyfriend, the supposed love of your life. but there you go treating him like garbage."

"i do not treat him like garbage," jagger started, his voice rising toward the end but jason shook his head.

"the way you kissed him today," he said, "at the shop before you left. do you do that every day? when you greet him in the morning, when you leave him to talk to a client, when people other than me and the love birds are around?"

"well..." jagger furrowed his brow. "that's really unprofessional, jason, i mean, it's our shop but still..."

"when was the last time you took him out on a date?" jason continued and jagger just stared at him blankly in response. "or held his hand in public? when was the last time you saw a movie he wanted to see just because he wanted to see it? o-or let him top-"

"jesus christ, jason."

"-or even took him out at all? i mean i know his leg's hurt pretty bad but even taking him out to applebee's or some shit would be nice every once in a while." jagger just sat there and stared at him with his jaw set. "look, jag, i don't know a lot about relationships. but i can answer each and every one of those questions with alec. we go out to lunch dates almost daily, we are always touching, and everyone we know and even people we don't are aware that me and him are dating. because it's obvious. can we even say the same about you and cain?"

"if people don't know about me and cain-" jagger started but jason interrupted him again.

"then it's because they're paying about as much attention to your relationship as you are." jagger stared at him, a little shocked, but jason surprisingly stood his ground. "cain is a fantastic person, jagger. you know it as well as i do. but he is...romantic and sweet and really sensitive underneath all that harsh exterior and he just wants to be treated like your boyfriend. and you're not doing that and if you don't start, then he's going to find someone who will." he watched as jagger set his jaw and looked around. "now the waitress is coming so don't fucking argue with me and just think about that for a second while i order for us."

and much to his surprise, jagger actually did. he ordered their usual fish and chips with a dr. pepper for jagger (because he was not drinking before going back to work, damn it) and a water for him and asked for extra napkins so that when his plate came he could at least try and blot away some excess grease. and jagger just sat there in silence, playing with the label on the bottle of malt vinegar in front of him while jason pulled some germ-x out of his pocket to clean his hands and then squirt some on a napkin to clean the surface in front of him on the table. this was starting to feel like their usual lunches - they would exchange a few words, eat, and then jagger would usually take jason back to school, seeing as since jason started college, he and jagger had been getting more and more distant. but he made a mental note to get jagger to talk to him more once the food arrived. jagger was always much better tempered when food was in front of him.

evidently, though, his brother was waiting for the same thing because as soon as the waitress started walking away after placing their platters in front of him, jagger turned to him and said, "i'm not going to lose him, jason." and it wasn't annoyed or a command or like he was shrugging him off. it was more of a plea - a cry for help. because even though jason knew jagger still had a bit of a romantic in him, sometimes his brother liked to forget.

"take him out on a date," he said sternly as he wiped down the bottle of malt vinegar and then shook some over his platter. "or hell, even just to a bar or club. dance with him. hold his hand, kiss him in front of people. take him to a nice restaurant and hold his hand, even if it's just under the table. shit, take him home and let him top and no, don't give me that disgusted look jagger. sex is a part of your relationship and if i know you like i think i do, you have been topping for seven long years. a relationship is a mutual effort; you have to give him that trust, even if he's gonna have to top from the bottom so he doesn't hurt his leg."

they sat there in silence for a moment, both digging into their lunches, jagger with his hands and jason carefully with a fork, the handle of which he cleaned first. it was obvious the two were very different people. but more and more, jagger was beginning to see how jason fit into the wilson family after all. he was bold; only when he needed to be, but fuck once he had a purpose, you couldn't keep him quiet. he was sassy, he was commanding. and when he had to say something, he was shameless. and jagger knew jason - he wasn't going to talk to him like this if it wasn't important. maybe...maybe he wasn't treating cain as well as he thought. maybe there was something in what cain had told him.

"and how do i remember?" he asked after a little while. "to just...to do these things? this shit slips my mind, jason, it's not like...i'm not like you. or kendall. sentimental bullshit goes right past me."

"that's not true and you know it," jason responded, giving him a stern look. "but until you remember, me and alec can help. draw up a schedule. give you a little nudge in the right direction. just pick a date and call it date night. alec and i will take it from there."

"what are you two, like the super couple?" jason thought that was meant to be a jab at how annoying they were, but instead he just smiled.

"yeah," he said. "we are. because there is no doubt in my mind that five years from now, we'll still go out to lunch. and twenty years from then, we'll still eat ice cream on our next month's anniversary. and ten years from then we're still not going to be afraid who looks like the more dominant or more submissive one in our relationship because it doesn't matter." jagger shifted uncomfortably and jason gave him a tight smile. "and look, one day you and cain will have that, too. i wouldn't be sitting here talking to you if i thought it was hopeless. you love him. and shit, jagger, he loves you. but sometimes you gotta remember that it's not always enough just to say it."

they sat in silence for a few moments and jason glanced down at his watch. "come on," he said. "we gotta get back, or cain's going to bite my head off for biting into your time together. just...think about what i said, okay? just give him a little affection, man. it's all he wants."

jason paid the tab - where he got the money, jagger would never know, but he had a sneaking suspicion someone else was paying for this lunch. which meant other people were investing in this talk. which meant...maybe he really should think about what jason told him.

just maybe.

[/justify]