PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS LOVE IN AMERICA

[renee]

i still couldn't believe that i let morgan drag me back here. honestly. even as i nursed a beer and watched some pretty sweet lesbian action going on behind me (no, i silently cursed myself, that is not what you should be focusing on right now.) i found myself feeling slightly....creeped. now don't get me wrong. i love the gays. i do. i like their culture and sometimes they make good food and when two girls make out it's kind of hot and let's face it, they know how to get drunk and party better than anyone else. but something about being...prey made me feel awkward. honestly, there's no way to describe it without sounding homophobic so let's just get it out there - i don't like getting hit on by guys. honestly at this stage in my life with adaline right back where i wanted her to be, i didn't like getting hit on by anybody, flattering as it was. but something about getting hit on by the guys just bothered me. i'm not gay and there's a reason for that. i just don't...it's not....fuck. see? i told you there wasn't a way to describe it without sounding like a dick.

let's just say the place gave me the chills. the only reason i put up with it was because one, seeing morgan shitfaced was the funniest thing i have ever seen in my life and two, though i had been doing well without her there was the chance of seeing adaline here again. i mean i wasn't looking forward to it but there was always the chance right? besides, i was always morgan's designated driver. it's part of the whole being-a-good-friend thing. even if it meant i risked being hit on by many of the gays surrounding the bar.

and right on cue, as i managed to finish that first beer, there was somebody nudging me with their elbow and a low voice saying, "hey, uh, hate to be a bother here but haven't i propositioned you before?"

and so it began.

until i turned to see who it was and nearly jumped off of the bar stool.

fucking noah. i knew him only by first name but his face was unmistakable. it was the same dude who had pulled ada away from me when we met here about a week ago, the same dude who was so drunk that he couldn't even remember the name of the guy he was taking home. or maybe he was just too much of an asshole to bother with it. whatever. like it mattered. what did matter was that this was adaline's roommate, the man whose hands i left her in after i broke her heart. the man who must really, really, really hate me.

i nearly bolted. let morgan find someone else to take him home and just leave and save my own ass. but then i thought, you know, i only saw the guy for what? five seconds? he could easily be mistaking me for somebody else. i'm sure he propositioned lots of people before and besides, i wouldn't call what he asked propositioning as adaline had cut in before he could do any real damage. maybe i could pretend i didn't recognize him. pretend that i was somebody else. yeah. that would work, right? so with that thought in mind, i replied carefully, "uh, no, i don't...i don't think you have." i tore my eyes away, looking for the bartender quickly. if all else failed, i did need a backup plan. not finding him right away though, i turned back to noah and flashed him a smile. "besides, i'm straight. i don't come to these often."

then all there was left to do was wait and pray that he was stupid or that my ability to lie had increased in the past five minutes.

evidently, it had not.

"well that's funny. because i distinctly remember seeing you before. and i never forget a pretty face." okay if i didn't want to go off running before, i certainly did now. no, gross, like i said before, i'm not a homophobe, but the last thing i wanted was for ada's roommate to start making moves on me. i mean i'm a good-looking guy but shouldn't this guy like...know better? i shifted away as he shifted forward. "you were talking to a girl, though. medium height, blonde hair, hot bod." great, i thought as he took a drink of whatever the bartender just dropped off in front of him. he remembered. "i was a little tipsy, though. but i do distinctly remember something about a guy with a 'k' name and really wishing you were gay." he set his glass down and the sound replayed in my head over and over like a heartbeat. "sound familiar?"

it did. he knew it did because he remembered that night just like i remembered that night. obviously denying who i was wasn't going to help and i would admit - i was starting to get freaked out. after a while, you start to hear some things about other people and especially other people within your own profession. to say noah was an angel was the furthest thing from the truth and if he was someone close to adaline, it was hard to imagine what he'd do for revenge. i quickly turned to the bartender and squeaked out, "hey! can i have another water? or two, this time, maybe? really... really thirsty, thanks." he walked off to get my water and i took a deep breath. okay. i had a back up plan. if it got too bad, i would just find a way to purposely accidentally spill water on myself and then excuse myself from the bar. no big deal. it happened right? until then...until then, i guess i just had to face the music. i let out a deep sigh and then turned to look back at him.

"congratulations nancy drew," i found myself saying, "you caught me." which probably wasn't the best way to address my ex's best friend and roommate but whatever. it happened; there was no taking it back. the bartender returned then with a few bottles of water and i pulled them to me, already thinking of how to make this mess look like an accident. as i thought, i heard noah's voice say, "it's noah actually. and you're a bad liar; that's not my fault."

right. whatever.

"so what do you want?" i asked somewhat bitterly as i turned my attention back to him. might as well figure out his motive now, right? "there must be something or else you wouldn't come over here right?"

to my dismay, noah just laughed at me. "don't flatter yourself, dear ex-boyfriend of my darling roommate," he said with a smirk. "i was just escaping from some drama between boyfriends and decided to head to the bar. it was merely by chance that i sat next to you." he raised an eyebrow. "unless there's a reason i should be looking for you. in that case, yeah asshole, i'm here wondering what it is you've done."

for some reason, this really annoyed me - the fact that he hadn't come over here in adaline's defense. the fact that he considered me not worth his time. and the fact that he thought that i might have done something that escaped his notice. as if me upsetting addie wasn't something that would affect her enough to tell him. "actually, i've been perfect these past few days," i told him trying hard not to clench my teeth. which you'd know if you paid attention to adaline, i added silently but i didn't dare say it out loud. after all, i was only guessing at her feelings. and though they were guesses i hoped were incredibly accurate, it was hard to tell. she was...well she was something else, that much was certain, and it was harder to predict how she'd react than it is to predict when freak accident would occur.

however, i couldn't be too bitter toward noah. it was because of him, after all, that adaline had been there that night in the first place. it was because of him that she had been on the bar for me to spill something on; it was because of him that we were ever reunited. being rude felt as wrong as it did right because if i were being completely honest, i'd have to admit that i owed pretty much all of what had happened in the past week to the flaming homo sitting next to me. with that in mind, i opened a water bottle and took a sip before saying, "while you're here, though, i'd like to thank you."

noah smirked but i could see the confusion built in his expression. good. maybe he'd stop his know-it-all act if i kept catching him off guard. "thank me? for what?" he played around with the glass in front of him before adding, "and for the love of all things gay and holy, don't say being so damn sexy because that is honestly the most horrible pick up line that i have ever encountered. never gets you past first base."

i couldn't help but laugh at that. just the way he said it, so nonchalant like he honestly believed there was a chance in hell i'd say something that stupid. "don't be such a shit, dude," i said, not helping the smile that spread across my features. i couldn't help it. i was a smiley dude. besides, maybe he'd be a little more accommodating if i appealed to his homo side. it worked with women, after all. "no, that's not what i wanted. i just wanted to thank you for taking care of adaline. you know. housing her and keeping her safe and..." i swallowed, my throat getting slightly (and embarrassingly) tight. "and you know. keeping her here."

he stared at me almost critically after that, skeptically, as if waiting for me to continue and say something to get rid of the somewhat heartfelt statement i had just made. but i wasn't going to. it was true. i owed noah the biggest thank you in the entire world for what he'd done for adaline. for doing what i couldn't do and then for being gay so that he could do what i couldn't without stealing away her affections. it was a stroke of luck or fate or whatever that she hadn't run into another guy to sweep her off her feet after i broke her heart. and that was why i was thanking him. for being gay. for taking care of her. for giving me the opportunity to see her again. but still he stared at me as if he were expecting something more.

eventually, though, he spoke. "and i thought i was supposed to be the gay one here." i laughed quietly as he turned back to his drink, draining the glass of its contents. fair enough. "you're welcome, though. but the way i saw it - and still see it - someone had to take care of her."

ouch. okay. well that was expected and totally within reason to say. i could only imagine the things he heard from adaline with the state i left her in. "well you don't have to worry about doing that all alone anymore," i said, turning away in what i hoped was a nonchalant manner to take a drink of water, but when i looked back at him i almost choked. if looks could kill, i'd be dead five times over.

"i think i'll keep a good hold on those duties, thanks," he said coldly and called the bartender over to ask for another drink. i bit the inside of my cheek. okay. again - expected. but this one annoyed me more than the last shot at me.

"you really don't have to," i said, trying to keep the coldness toward him out of my voice. "i'm perfectly capable of picking up where i left off."

"you obviously don't remember where you left off very well then."

"i remember it perfectly fine."

"then you don't remember that you were an asshole who broke her heart where you last 'left off' and i wouldn't trust you with adaline's feelings again right now if you were the last straight man on earth."

that got to me. my grip on the water bottle in my hand almost sent the cap flying off. "you don't even know how i feel about her."

he laughed and it grated my nerves even further. "cool down there, handsome. you made it plenty clear how you felt about her when you dumped her on her ass."

i could have punched him; i probably would have if he wasn't adaline's best friend and if it wouldn't have gotten me kicked out of the bar. like he had any right, any claim to adaline, anything close to a hold on how to handle her feelings --

but then i realized that he had more of a claim than i had. for some reason, that just made me angrier. "what am i going to have to do then?" i asked, teeth actually clenched by this point. "what the hell do i have to do to show you that i'm not the person you think i am?"

the look on noah's face made me immediately want to take the question back. but i didn't. i just stared back, eyes slightly narrowed. it was like this that morgan found us, me looking quite angry and noah looking what i could only accurately describe as lustful.

"whoa," my friend said, causing me to start and look at him curiously. "i'm going to just come back later..."

noah surveyed the new addition to our group with the same look he had just been giving me and the idea of it sent annoyance prickling down my spine. no. no way in fucking hell. he couldn't have adaline and morgan too. that was too much. "don't bother," i said, pulling out some money and tossing it down on the bar. the bartender immediately rushed forward. "are you done, morgan? because we're leaving."

my friend just laughed. "guess i don't really have a choice there, do i?"

throughout this, noah stayed silent, just watching. for some reason, this annoyed me more than if he had said something. asked me to stay. said we weren't finished. but he didn't. he just stared at me, looking amused now, and sipped on his refreshed drink like he was watching a particularly interesting movie.

i wanted to punch him. instead, i left.

looking back, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, leaving with that conversation still all up in the air. morgan tried to ask about it but i didn't want to talk about it. to be honest, i didn't want to hear noah's answer to what i had asked. not because i thought it would be creepy and not because the look he'd given me implied something that i wouldn't want to do.

but because when he did give me a straight answer and i didn't doubt for a second that he would, i was afraid that there was no way in hell i'd ever be able to do it.

and that was honestly more terrifying than anything else.

[/justify]