DON'T DO SADNESS - {cain}

[kendall ilse wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #595454; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] i walked across, AN EMPTY LAND. I KNEW THE PATHWAY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. I FELT THE EARTH BENEATH MY FEET. SAT BY THE RIVER AND IT MADE ME COMPLETE. OH, SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON. SO TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN. I'M GETTING TIRED AND I NEED SOMEWHERE

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to begin,

somewhere
only we know

this was something that none of them were expecting. honestly, none. or if they had (like she suspected jagger might) they weren't about to say anything. it was always a strange situation when one of their clan was hurt. it didn't matter if it was jagger in a bar fight or jason because of people who picked on him for being small or del who was always getting herself into weird situations. when someone was hurt, the entire house was shaken by the experience. it was just how things were. and with cain, it was especially bad because she just didn't know what to do with him. he couldn't stay at the hospital; they just couldn't afford it, none of them, and though that was shitty to say, health insurance could only cover so much. besides then she'd have to do all different kinds of paperwork to ensure that everyone in their clan would be able to visit him outside of visiting hours because they were the closest thing to family he had. and she couldn't do that. it would take too long.

so she had asked to take him home. he wasn't too bad. he was healing, would continue to heal, and insurance covered his medication so she was able to pick up his prescriptions and watch over him while he could. she had requested that people cover her shifts so that she could be with him most of the time, but when she wasn't, jason agreed to miss lectures, brad agreed to bring his laptop in, and though jagger hadn't necessarily agreed to taking nighttime shifts when cain was sleeping, he had nearly bitten brad's head off when he said that he could stay the night to watch if everyone else was busy so kendall had taken that to mean that night shifts were jagger's. it was the only way he was going to be able to see cain, though. there was so much tension between them lately that it was palpable, and though she had kept her nose out of it for this long, it was beginning to get to her. she had a feeling, just a feeling, that somehow their sudden enmity and cain's accident were connected. especially since jagger hadn't even batted an eye when she'd come rushing home to get him and jason with the news that cain was hurt. he had just looked away and left the house, and she didn't see him again until she called to say she was asking everyone to come over because she was bringing cain home. and even then, he lurked in the background.

but she didn't have time to get to the bottom of things. she had a girlfriend to entertain now as well as a job and then she couldn't forget her duties as self-assigned guardian angel to one tristan price and she took care of jason and now cain....with all of that going on, she just didn't have enough time to be nosy. however with the boys out of the house now, leaving her and cain to their alone time, she figured that she could at least find it in her to sit down and have a chat with him. it was the least she could do with how she'd been rushing around lately. besides, she had to give him his medication and since no one else was home that she knew of, she couldn't really pawn it off on them. for that one day, everyone else could just...wait. she was a busy girl and it stressed her out to the point that she sometimes wished she'd get hurt just so she could get a break. but she was taking time for cain. he needed her.

"knock knock," she said as she nudged the door to the spare room open with her elbow. after figuring out that cain's insurance just wasn't going to cover everything and getting permission to get him home with her, kendall had moved him right back into his old room. she felt it fitting and even though there had been some resistance, she didn't give a fuck. she wanted cain home where she could keep an eye on him, where the rest of the clan could keep an eye on him, and she wasn't going to put up with his bitching. if he got too bad about it, she would just slip him a few extra drugs, just enough to put him to sleep. thankfully, though, after she'd gotten him settled, he just spent a lot of his time sleeping. she didn't have to hear him complain and she got the feeling he was happy to be in his old room. or maybe it was just her imagining things as she was prone to do because she was happy to have him back in her care. either way, there was something nice about the familiar motion of elbowing into the room with a prescription bottle in one hand and a glass of water in the other. no matter how messed up that sounded.

"time for more meds," she said, placing the glass of water on the bedside table for him before opening the plastic container and shaking out two pills. "because there's nothing in the world like having drugs for lunch, right?" she turned as she heard cain's door shut behind her and raised an eyebrow. she thought everyone had gone, though jagger had been so quiet and moody lately that she probably could have walked past him a thousand times that day and not realized it. she was not to know that he was standing outside the door to gauge cain's reaction to the medication. or to hear how he was doing. she hadn't yet gotten to the point that she actually had brother senses that tingled when one was around. she put the pills on the table next to the water but kept the bottle with her, slipping it into her pockets. even if cain's accident was just an accident, which she wasn't sure if it was or not, she knew patients who got incredibly depressed after something that traumatic. she was taking no risks with him.

she stepped forward to kiss his forehead. "how are you, sweetie? feeling up to talkin' to little ol' me?" she pulled up a chair they had moved into the room for those who were watching him in spite of her words. even if he rejected her, she wasn't going anywhere. both of them knew that. she had entered the room for a reason and she was going to achieve that purpose; no matter what cain said.

[/left]

KIT/CAIN, outfit, SIGH IT HURTS
SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW by KEANE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0

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[cain furion costello]

The past week or so of his life had become some kind of fuckery. Just some kind of fucked up situation one right after another. And all of it started with Brad licking his hips. When really, looking back on it was such a stupid way to have started this snowball that had now turned into this. All that Cain could think right then, though, was that it was all Jagger's fault. It was Jagger's fault for being such an ass hole. It was all Jagger's fault for starting a fight over something that was only innocent. Fuck, all of this, was Jagger's fault. Though, when it came down to it, that one Wilson boy was the only person that he wanted to see.

Cain had been waiting for that fucker to show his face the entire time that he was in the hospital. Not once, though, did he show. He didn't even hear that he had come when he was still out like a light. All of this only proved one thing, that he really didn't care. It would've been one thing if Jagger hadn't cared as a lover, because, well, he'd made it more than apparent that all Cain had been was a hole for him to stick it in. But...he was supposed to be his best friend. Above all of the other people that he could call his friend in his life, Jagger was supposed to be number one. But where was he now? Cain couldn't be sure.

When Brad had wheeled him into the Wilson house hold Jagger had been there, hanging out in the back. And where as everyone else came to him and gave him hugs. Said how they were happy to see him. Or how he looked silly with the stupid neck brace that he wasn't allowed to take off. Or hell the leg cast. All in all he looked pretty fucked up, and he knew it too. He also knew that the chances of him having full use of his leg once things were healed were slim to none. He knew that there was a chance of him falling into a coma if there was more damage to his brain than they thought. But obviously they thought that he was in the clear enough to at least have in home care.

Not that he'd been particularly thrilled about being back in his old room, or back in the home that also housed the man that he was dying to see, but part of him he never wanted to see again. A few days had passed since he'd been moved back into the Wilson house hold and part of him wasn't all that sure of exactly how long it had been. His days were sort of morphing into each other between the pain pills and all the sleeping that he had been doing. He knew that when he woke up at any point there was probably going to be someone there watching after him. Making sure that he wasn't going to die or something like that. It wasn't so bad. Del and him usually bullshitted, Brad tried showing him computer stuff, Jason read to him, Alec played go fish with him. Then there was Kendall, who in typical Kendall fashion had taken control of everything and was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. He hadn't really had a moment to just, hang out with her.

When the door knocked he looked to see who it was, just like always his heart racing hoping that it would finally be Jagger. That was not the Wilson that came into his door though, but instead Kendall. A small and yet somewhat disappointed smile took of her his lips. "Oh hell yeah meds. I don't think that I'll have to go back to eating anytime soon. I can just be doped up all the time," he said with a bit of a forced chuckle that was followed by a groan before he wrapped an arm around his middle and closed his eyes. His hand moved to grab the pills and he took them a bit quickly ready for the pain to fade away again so that he might get a bit more sleep.

Or apparently, he was going to have a talk with Kendall. He could only imagine what it was going to be about. "Yeah..." he shifted in the bed trying to get comfortable again. "Though, I have an appointment with my fan club in ten minutes so make it snappy." Even when he was broken, apparently, there was no stopping his man sass. Even if it was going to end up getting him beat up by Kendall if he kept it up too much.

[kendall ilse wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #595454; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] i walked across, AN EMPTY LAND. I KNEW THE PATHWAY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. I FELT THE EARTH BENEATH MY FEET. SAT BY THE RIVER AND IT MADE ME COMPLETE. OH, SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON. SO TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN. I'M GETTING TIRED AND I NEED SOMEWHERE

[/size][/div]

to begin,

somewhere
only we know

she knew that she wasn't who he wanted to see. there were subtle hints. the smile. lack of enthusiasm though she add in his injuries to explain that. most of all, though, it was just the simple fact that she was not her brother that let her know cain was disappointed. because she knew the two still wanted to see one another despite their fronts. she saw it in everything jagger did. the way he lounged int he living room during certain shifts, usually brad's, as though waiting for any excuse to bound in there. the way he dutifully took up his post at night and often didn't leave until cain showed signs of waking, even if it meant overlapping shifts with somebody else. once, when she'd gotten up to check on cain's injuries and change his bandages, she'd walked in to see jagger holding his hand. their friendship still existed; just for some reason, they were trying to hide it, or at least jagger was. and she was going to figure out why.

it was her duty as a sister as well as a friend. she loved cain and jagger very, very much and she usually allowed them their privacy. she knew that those two had something that made their friendship work. she didn't know what; she didn't really care. but whatever it was, it had broken, and it scared her brother to death. she still remembered him threatening to break brad into a thousand tiny pieces if he even so much as mentioned his name to cain. it wasn't normal, not that jagger acted normal ninety-nine percent of the time anyway. but this was different. because no matter how weird jagger had been after cait's death, he'd always had one constant - cain. now, though, now something had fucked that up and kendall was taking it upon herself to fix it. because that's what she did. when shit in their house didn't go as she planned, she stepped up to take care of it. she held influence. she always got things done. this was her job.

she pushed back some of cain's hair as he took his medication, smiling fondly down at him. she did love cain. she did. maybe not in the way that she felt about barbra and maybe it was different from the way that she loved jagger and jason but she did care for him. how could she not? she had done everything that she possibly could to welcome him into her life, from sleeping with him to offering him shelter when he needed her and her family most. seeing him hurt...it killed her. she had cried unashamedly when he was admitted to the hospital, demanding to the residency director that she be allowed to work with him, and throwing a fit until she got her way. she didn't want to let anyone else touch him, and only left when he was in surgery to get jason and jagger - well, jason anyway. jagger had wandered off somewhere, probably to see cait - there was dirt and grass stains on his fingertips when he got home late that night, usual indicators that he had been with her. just further proof that things between him and cain were fucked beyond belief.

"i'm bringing you food later regardless," she laughed, patting his hand. "jason was nice enough to make a few things for you to drink before leaving this morning. all healthy and organic - you know how he is." it was all small talk. all bullshit. to be honest, it was probably a bad idea to have mentioned jason because it might lead his mind to jagger, though maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. she needed to get him thinking about him anyway if she was going to get the information that she wanted. she raised an eyebrow at his comment about his fan club. "yeah well kendall wilson hurries for no fan club," she said in her usual superior tones, "especially not one i'm president of thank you very much." she ran her fingers across his hand, up his arm before coming back. thinking of how to phrase her words, she cleared her throat. "speaking of presidents of your fan club though," she continued, crossing one of her legs over the other to get comfortable, "i wanted to talk to you about jagger." which probably wasn't the best way to lead into this conversation but she really didn't give two fucks. "cain, what's going on with you two? what happened?"

[/left]

KIT/CAIN, outfit, KENDALL YOU POOR NAIVE SOUL
SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW by KEANE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0

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[cain furion costello]

In all reality of the matter, Cain knew that eventually Kendall was going to come to him, and she was going to want to talk about Jagger. That was just how she was, it was how she had always been. Sure, she left them alone for almost everything. They had that way of working things out without needing her to step in and retie all the cut threads. And for as long as he had known Kendall he had known that if something was broken in her world she was going to do everything in her power to fix it. Even if that meant kicking some asses. She was, after all Kendall Wilson untamed she-woman amazon thing. Or whatever the fuck you wanted to call her. And he loved her all the same for it.

What he didn't love, however, was Jason's organic healthy for you shit. Which caused a bit of a scrunching of his features, that face of his still bruised from hitting the window. The scrunching of it caused him to wince slightly before relaxing his features. "Can't I have like, real food? Like a bacon cheese burger, fries, and a milkshake? I don't think Jason approved food is going to help me heal. My body might go into shock," he said in a tone that was a bit of a whine. Which really, given the fact that Cain had always thrown a fit over the food that Jason made, it wasn't such a wonder that he would still do that while laying in a bed drugged up and more or less broken.

Cain really should've seen coming what she was going to bring up next, and fuck, maybe he would've if he hadn't been doped up. Maybe he would've been able to dodge the question, or something. It wasn't like he could run from Kendall. He was lucky to get out of bed himself to go to the fucking bathroom let alone try to run from a woman when his whole leg was in a cast. He wanted to run though, he wanted to run away from the question. He wanted to run away from everything that it brought up. Most of all, he wanted to run and find Jagger so maybe he wouldn't feel so alone in this.

A sigh came from the man as he ran fingers through his hair and sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. "Kendall..." he started out and for a moment he thought that maybe he could talk his way out of this. Maybe he could bullshit her enough so that she would just let it lie. But part of him, the larger part, the part that he would blame the drugs for taking control of him right then, that part wanted to talk. That part wanted someone to know how he felt even if he couldn't tell Jagger. Because Jagger wasn't there. Jagger had left him. Jagger had let him know that everything he thought was fucking delusions and then he had left him alone in the world.

So here Cain was feeling more than he'd ever felt in his life, and Kendall was the option that he had for releasing it. Which really. It wasn't that big of a deal, because it was Kendall. Because of all the people in the Wilson clan besides Jagger, she was the other one that he was closest to. Not in the way that he would talk to her about everything, because that's what Jagger was for. But he could talk to her. So he leaned back into those pillows and looked away from her trying for the life of him to find the words to start describing just what was happening in the secret world of Jagger and Cain.

"Jagger and I have been fucking for years," was the first thing that came. And maybe it wasn't the best thing to start off with, but he figured he might as well start with the most shocking thing. "It started shortly after I came to live with you guys. When I was still healing up after what my dad did. I won't give you the details or anything, because, ya know, I'll spare you. But, it's been going on since then. On and off....mostly on." And if there were ever a moment that Cain wanted a cigarette it was right then. His fingers itching to reach for a pack that wasn't there. "Basically...he's wanted to tell everyone for years now, but, I didn't want to until he could admit his feelings for me. So, Brad licked my hips, Jagger through a fit, it became a fight, then he told me that whatever I thought he felt was fucking delusions."

There was a long pause in which he tried holding back tears, remembering again the sting of those words, but remembering even more how those were the last thing he heard before real time kicked in during the crash. "And...fuck, maybe he's right. Maybe it is just sex to him...and maybe I'm just a stupid faggot...because," he let out a sigh and ran finger through his hair again. "I love him." He found no relief in saying the words though, but instead, just felt like they were little bits of fire that scalded his tongue. "And I need him...but he doesn't fucking care."

[kendall ilse wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #595454; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] i walked across, AN EMPTY LAND. I KNEW THE PATHWAY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. I FELT THE EARTH BENEATH MY FEET. SAT BY THE RIVER AND IT MADE ME COMPLETE. OH, SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON. SO TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN. I'M GETTING TIRED AND I NEED SOMEWHERE

[/size][/div]

to begin,

somewhere
only we know

"wait...what?" out of all the things that kendall expected to hear (and she'd entertained quite a few ludicrous idea) that hadn't even so much as passed through her skull. not that it didn't make sense; no, now that cain had actually told her what happened, it all made perfect sense and she mentally kicked herself for not seeing it earlier. it explained so much. the co-dependence. how they managed to handle their fights. jagger's weird protective streak that he didn't even really have with jason. suddenly that all made sense. but what the fucking hell? because in addition to that, she remembered how apeshit jagger had gone when jason came out with alec, how he had ranted against homosexuality, how he had called himself the only straight one in their family. she knew jagger to be a lot of things but the last thing was homophobic, especially since it seems he was the gayer of the wilson boys as it was. so what was going through his head?

she knew it was probably something stupid. like that he didn't want to hurt cain permanently by loving him so he hurt him temporarily by acting like he hated everything about their relationship, from the homosexuality aspect to the emotional side. that sounded like a very "jagger" explanation for the way he acted. because she knew that what cain said wasn't true. jagger cared about him. jagger cared that he was hurt and he cared about what happened to him and maybe if he wasn't there overtly expressing it, the very fact that he took a shift at all, the longest shift at that, proved what cain had failed to see. because of jagger. because jagger for some reason was ensuring that cain didn't know that he was giving a shit. honestly, she could have punched him in the face if she knew where the hell he was. she looked up at the sudden sound of the front door slamming and wondered if that was him coming or leaving.

she hoped it was coming. coming and not going so that he could finally stop running. because she'd put up with his running for far too long. since cait's death, he had avoided any topic that could possibly show that he still had a heart, any sort of relationship or even hook-up really save a couple people that she now knew were probably to get his mind off not just the girl he loved but the boy, too. at any mention of the word 'love', he always bailed as fast as possible. he didn't even like to hear her say it and the only time she ever heard it from him was when he was talking about jason and that was because that was his explanation for why he always got his panties in a twist over everything their youngest sibling did. he didn't want emotional ties, he didn't want a relationship, but the thing about people like jagger and the thing he refused to acknowledge was that he needed it. he could try and run from the fact that underneath the sarcasm and biting words and hate-the-world attitude he was still the same sappy asshole who used to refuse to let go of his girlfriend's hand for anything, but the fact of the matter was, he was a romantic and when he was in love, he couldn't run from it. no matter how fast he tried. he needed it to go on or he'd just end up hurting himself further.

and cain...poor cain, who got dragged into it, who became the next object of affection for her brother to fixate on. she knew he didn't mean to. with cain in the state he was and jagger still healing from cait's death it was really no wonder that the pair of them gravitated to one another for comfort, had paired up so quickly. and with jagger she knew it was no surprise for it to escalate into love since he needed love there for physical affection as it was, and cain...jagger always took care of him. jagger always loved him. those feelings were bound to stem from it. and it broke her heart because they were both so guarded and so stubborn and so completely stupid that they couldn't see what they were doing to one another. again the night she walked in on jagger holding cain's hand came to mind and it hit her that whatever cain had seen was far from a delusion.

"oh candy cain..." she mumbled quietly, reaching out to grab his hand. "cain, you are such a fucking idiot." she said the words as affectionately as she could given the circumstances, which was far more affectionately than she'd originally planned. but she supposed that she couldn't resist feeling bad for him, bad for her brother, bad for everything that had been happening between them. "did you really believe jagger when he was talking about his emotions? jagger? that's like believing oj simpson when he said he didn't fucking do it." which wasn't her best analogy but the only one she could think of off the top of her head. listening to jagger when he said something about the way that he felt, especially when it was adversely opposite to what you believed you were recognizing, was not a far cry from being retarded. especially when it was cain, who knew jagger better than any of them.

"jagger loves you," she said with certainty, squeezing his hand. "he does and if you believed him when he said he didn't then i'm sorry but i'll have to ask who the fuck you are. because you know jagger. when he loves someone, what does he do? he shoves them away. maybe in this case a little too hard." she took a deep breath. "look if you see him don't tell him i told you but he's been sitting in this room for nine, ten hours a night, from the time you fall asleep until the time you wake up. he takes the longest fucking shift out of all of us, nearly rips brad's pretty face off when he offers to take it for him, and he doesn't care when his shift is supposed to start and end. he stays here until you start to wake up. probably just to ensure that you will." she shook her head. "it's never 'just sex' to jagger when it's with someone he knows. and when it happens more than once. and it's never going to be a fucking illusion when i look at him and see how much he cares about you."

she leaned back, shaking her head again in disbelief. "he's such a fucking idiot. doesn't appreciate anything he's got, that one." she looked over at cain again. "he's just scared. of feeling. but i promise you, cain, he does care about you. more than anyone knows apparently." her brow furrowed. "though what a stupid fucking thing to fight about. he must really love you."

[/left]

KIT/CAIN, outfit, KENDALL BEING KENDALL IS MY FAVE
SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW by KEANE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0

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[cain furion costello]

If there was any one thing that Cain had realized in the years of being in the Wilson family, it was one thing. You never felt so stupid as when Kendall Wilson was pointing out the obvious to you. And that really was how it went down. Every fucking time. For as much as Cain would like to say that Kendall didn't know what she was talking about sometimes, the fact of the matter was that when it came to anyone in their little makeshift family she ALWAYS knew what she was talking about. It really was an irritating thing when it well and came down to it. Except, well, maybe Cain was a bit too tired to be irritated right then, maybe this mattered a bit too much for him to toss a fit because she was pointing out the obvious, as Kendall was so very good at doing.

The tone in her voice when she used the nickname that most of the women in his life seemed to love calling him caused a bit of a smile on his face. Then came her words, everything that he already knew but for some stupid reason had forgotten that day when he'd decided to try and get himself all kinds of dead in that car wreck. Because, well, Kendall was right, he did know Jagger. He knew Jagger better than he knew anyone else in the world and visa versa and he really was a fucking idiot to have believed the words that were coming from Jagger's mouth when he'd said those things. Because, it was Jagger. And Jagger was never the sort that would let himself be in love easily. "You're right," he said with a weak chuckle. "I am a fucking idiot." Eyes moved to look at her with a soft expression in them.

The next thing, though, that she told him. The one thing that she was sure that Jagger would've flipped a nut over if he'd known that Kendall had let his little secret out, it literally made Cain turn from that sometimes calloused boy right into a soft kitten. Because his eyes got wet, and the smallest of smiles came onto his features. Jagger, was there. He hadn't left him. And Cain felt that if he were not on pain pills that he wouldn't be making such a huge fuss over it, but fuck it, he was already going down the path of just letting himself have his emotions and expressing them, there was no use in stopping it now.

"Really?" he spoke on an exhale causing his words to be all kinds of breathy. "I thought I was crazy. I'd kinda woken up a couple times at night, and I could've sworn he was there. Then Brad would tell me that it was someone else. But..." And this was the point where his expression stopped being soft. Where it stopped seeming like the fact that Jagger stayed with him through the night was enough to make him smile. Which it was, but that didn't change one very important fact. "He is such a fucking idiot. Why the fuck doesn't he just come talk to me? Cuz, I'm sorry, not like I'm really mobile right the fuck now. God where the fuck is he? I need to punch him. Or kick him with my cast." Either one sounded like a good option right about then, but most of all, he just wanted to kiss the fucker. To kiss him in front of everyone that they knew and not give a fuck about it.

Even though, part of him still wasn't sure if that's what Jagger wanted, and he really wouldn't be able to take the rejection right then. A small sigh left him and he settled back down on the pillows running fingers through his hair. "He is such a fucking idiot." And he was, but Cain loved him. "But whatever, I guess I'll just, be here, until he decides that he wants to see me when I'm awake. Cuz, ya know, I'm not getting anywhere fast right about now." Being broken, really fucking sucked.

Which brought up something entirely different that he wanted to talk about to Kendall. "Hey Kenny...the doc said I had some muscle death in my thigh...does that mean....that I'm gunna....be like House?" Which really, wasn't the worst thing, but he supposed he just wanted to know what he was in for when it came to what he'd still be able to do when he was all healed up.

[kendall ilse wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 380px; border-left: 20px solid #595454; background-image:url(http://i592.photobucket.com/albums/tt7/Sara_Shadow/PRIVATE/texture.jpg); padding-left: 10px; padding-bottom: 20px;] i walked across, AN EMPTY LAND. I KNEW THE PATHWAY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. I FELT THE EARTH BENEATH MY FEET. SAT BY THE RIVER AND IT MADE ME COMPLETE. OH, SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON. SO TELL ME WHEN YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN. I'M GETTING TIRED AND I NEED SOMEWHERE

[/size][/div]

to begin,

somewhere
only we know

kendall sighed. boys. they were so stupid. particularly cain and jagger. they had always had this weirdo connection that she had never been able to understand. jagger never took to anyone the way that he did cain, especially since after cait's death he'd really just tried to rid his life of everyone who could possibly remind him of her. and it was a miracle cain stayed. but that was how it was with them. cain was always jagger's exception, always the one person that could do things no one else could and get away with them. she didn't know how jagger had been able to stand it, sitting back year after year watching cain with other people and not saying anything. because he hadn't really. sure he said stuff to cain to just ruffle his feathers a bit but he never complained about it when no one was there. he just sat around and made jokes and glared at people he didn't like same as always. and none of them ever knew.

maybe even those two didn't even fucking know. it wouldn't surprise her, that it would take something like this to make them realize the depth of their affection. cain wanted jagger to admit he got jealous over him and jagger wanted cain to just own up to having sex with him, but it was deeper than that and she knew it now. she didn't care what cain's story was, thinking back it was all too easy now to see moments between the two. how jagger always checked up on him, even if just to ask how his day was. how they disappeared together for hours and came back closer than ever. the way jagger never planned any event for just one person. they worked together, lived together, did everything together. shit apparently they even had sex with each other. for years, they had been this solid unit. they fought, yeah, but what friends didn't fight? and by their standards, they recovered quickly.

and it was so obvious now, so apparent, so...stupid of them to not have told anyone. instead they just tried to take care of it on their own and look what happened: it blew up in their faces, as the things that jagger and cain did on their own were apt to do. she was surprised they didn't at least tell her - if so, she would have stopped having sex with cain ages ago, something she was more than certain caused her brother his fair share of grief simply because what was worse than watching the person you love be with your sibling even if just sexually? because if anyone was in line for second significant other, it was probably cain in her heart. she felt so bad now for any pain she may have caused them not just individually but in their relationship. even if they didn't really call it a relationship back in that stage of the game.

his rage was something she sort of expecting. maybe rage was too strong of a word - his annoyance. his annoyance at jagger and how much he had been avoiding him. but that was something she understood. she was like jagger in that sense, too. he knew he'd done something wrong and he didn't want to face it. he didn't want to risk fucking it up again. "you two are both fucking idiots," she laughed, shaking her head. and it was true. they really were. they should have just turned to her in their time of need and she would have made it all work out. but no, they had to go and be dumbasses and doubt the power of kendall ilse wilson. "maybe he's staying away because he knows you'll beat him," she said with a wink, "or maybe he's afraid you won't."

and then the topic was turned to something she really didn't want to talk about - cain's injuries. honestly, she had avoided it because she wasn't his primary physician when he was first admitted and she didn't get all the details until later. and she didn't like them. she never liked seeing any of her babies permanently damaged or injured, especially not cain who she had seen battered too many times in the past. it was so hard to look at him sometimes and see the same kid she had driven to the hospital so many years ago. it was easy to forget he'd once been so broken. she didn't like to acknowledge that he was rebroken now. "you know, the rest of it is going to heal up," she said, trying to fit some good news in there while she could. "your neck and everything. all the scrapes, the bruises. but your leg..." she bit her lip. "cain you're going to have a limp. probably for the rest of your life." she paused before adding, "like house in that sense, though don't get any ideas about being a wise-ass doctor, that's me. the pain will mainly go away. we're going to keep you on a few meds even after you're up and walking again just to make the transition a little easier but after that, you should be able to go without them." she grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. "you're going to be just fine."

[/left]

KIT/CAIN, outfit, ;-; babies
SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW by KEANE
made by ANYA of caution 2.0

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[cain furion costello]

Kendall Wilson was some kind of amazing, though, Cain had always known that. He'd known it from the moment that he'd met her. And with everything that he'd been through with the Wilson's there was so much that she had become to him. A mother, a nurse, a lover, and so, so much more. His best friend. The one woman that he knew would never leave him behind. She was some kind of amazing, and that was showing even more right in that moment. It was times like these, that made Cain love the woman even more. If there were any other person for him in the world than Jagger, he knew that it would've been Kendall. Or maybe he just thought that because she had quite literally stolen her virginity. He wasn't sure, but either way, having her there by his side when he was beat up all over again was something he never knew he needed so much. She didn't take the place of having Jagger there, but she sure as hell eased the pain.

Cain closed his eyes as he listened to her and he let out a huff of air at her words. "Yeah, well, Jagger is a bigger idiot. That's all I'm saying. So he can sit here by my side all night like fucking a disco ball vampire but he can't come see me when I'm awake." Which really, if he were to be honest within himself, was a comforting thing. It at least meant that Jagger was there. That he hadn't left him to go through this all alone. Even if he was too much of a pussy to face him while he was awake, knowing that Jagger had been there, that he'd been by his side holding his hand, it was enough to place his heart at some sort of ease. He peeked one of his eyes opened as he looked over at her with a bit of a smirk on his lips. "Oh yeah, because I'm really capable of doing any physical damage to anyone right now. I'm laying in a bed with a tube up my penis. I'm so scary." Because even when damaged there was nothing but sass coming from the man.

The topic of Jagger seemed to melt away though to something that in a way was more important. His own physical status. The fact that he would never be completely the man that he was before the wreck. Sure, Cain could joke about it, and he would probably crack jokes about his leg left and right once he was up and walking around again. But the stark realization that he wasn't going to be able to jog again. That he would always be walking with a limp. That at the age of twenty-three he was going to have to use a Cain, it was like a slap in the face, getting cold water thrown on him, and a wedgie all at the same time. He knew that she was only telling him what he'd asked but part of him wished that he could've shoved the words back in her mouth, then he wouldn't have to know.

A sigh left the man as he squeezed her hand back and then looked at her with a weak smile on his lips. "Oh c'mon, I'd look fuckin sexy in scrubs," he joked, but there was no denying the sadness in his voice. "Thanks...for talking with me. I'm really tired though. I think I'm gunna catch some z's." He let go of her hand and pulled his blankets up as much as he could. "Love ya Kenny," he spoke softly before letting his eyes fall shut.