i'm bruised and scarred, titan/annalys

[titan]

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SO BABY, BE HONEST, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? WE LOST WHAT WE STARTED AND FOUND OUT MUCH MORE THAN WE WANA KNOW. I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED, SAVE ME FROM THIS BROKEN HEART, ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE AND FALL APART, SOMEONE PLEASE SING THIS LOVESICK MELODY. CALL MY NAME IF YOU'RE AFRAID, I'M JUST A KISS AWAY.

since the recent encounter that titan had had with annalys, things had just not felt the same. titan didn't feel the same. at least, he didn't feel like the titan that had been present for the past four, almost five, years. he wasn't shrugging things off of his shoulder and he was dwelling on things, something that the old titan would do and not the 'new-and-improved' titan was famous for doing. he was worrying more than he should have been and he was kept up at night thinking. like he had told sofia, he was acting like a 'pus,' but was that necessarily a bad thing? for the new titan, it was. worrying and thinking were things that, to him, showed weakness. getting worked up over the situation that he was currently in showed that he didn'thave enough strength to move on. wanting to just forgive annalys and tell her that he was sorry and that he was wrong to never give them a second chance showed weakness, and it certainly didn't give him the upperhand. if he went crawling back to her now, if he just gave in to what she wanted, then how did that represent him? it didn't. sure, the new titan was sort of an asshole and this titan had that 'i-don't-give-a-shit-about-anyone-but-me' attitude, but it worked for him. this titan was strong and it kept him from getting hurt. in a way, this titan made an appearance thanks to annalys. it was, in all actuality, her fault that he had transformed into such a terrible person.

as hard as he tried to explain that to his sister, though, she didn't get it. she wouldn't even try to get it. she didn't want to hear it, which not only hurt him, but it made him dislike annalys even more than he did before. it was her fault that he was so cruel to his siblings and to his ex-girlfriend, because she was the one who left. she was the one who gave up on them first and she was the one who forced this harsh, mean, terrible titan come out of it's shell. she made him put these walls up and she turned all of his siblings and even his parents against him. no, she didn't say anything to them to make them dislike him so much, but like it was already said, she forced titan to change. whether that change was for the better or the worse, it helped the twenty four year old survive without annalys. this titan was the reason his family wanted to forget he ever existed. however, this new persona that he carried on his shoulders was also the reason that he could wake up in the morning and go on with his day without thinking of the mistake that he made four years ago- letting annayls go. she broke up with him and while he didn't chase after her, it was still her fault that he was such a different person and telling himself that kept him sane. no matter what his family or his ex thought, nothing that anyone said, and no actions could force titan to revert back to being old titan. it took a while to get used to, but this new titan, this cruel, crude, mean titan made him feel strong. it made him feel that he didn't need annalys kouma to live.

although as the minutes after the conversation he had just had with his sister increased, the more that he longed for annalys skyrocketed as well. he didn't know what spell his sister had put him under to want to hold, to touch, to feel annalys again, but whatever it was, it was working. he had sprawled himself out on the couch of his high rise condo, but while he laid stretched out, he felt the urge to get into his car and repeat what had happened only a couple of days ago, minus an intoxicated titan and the taxis and new york city. as silly and stupid he was to want to even look at annalys again after the way that his sister had just defended her and disregarded her own blood, he wanted her more than anything right at that moment.

this exact reason was what possessed him to get into his car and race to annalys' parents house. as far as he knew, they were still out of town somewhere. this was a good thing- he was sure that they couldn't be too fond of him after what happened four years ago, even though none of it was his fault, and if he showed up at their house at one o'clock in the morning to profess his love for their daughter, he had a feeling the cops would certainly be called this time around. then again, he wasn't too sure that they wouldn't be called anyway. after all, he'd said some pretty harsh things to annalys the last time they had come face to face, or even conversed in a chat room, and he was definitely sure that she would be the least bit of happy to see him show up at her door again. then again, he obviously he didn't care about the risk if he was stupid enough to do what he was doing right now.

the white nissian gtr that he sported pulled into the enormous driveway within only minutes of when he left his house. it didn't take him long to arrive, because, one, the route to her house was burned into his memory and driving there, even after five years, was instinct, and two, he was anxious. even though he insulted her and told her what a whore she was, and yada-yada, whenever he saw her, she seemed to have gotten more and more beautiful with whenever he saw her. he turned the car's off with the press of the button and slid out of the car, locking it on his way to her porch. the strangest thing about this was that he was in no way nervous to do what he was about to do. after all, this was what she wanted so why would he have to be worried about the outcome? he reached the doorstep and with a quick motion, he pushed the doorbell and waited for annalys to appear in front of him. he might have been a little in over his head, but who really thought he cared? this was titan.

RORY AS ANNALYS, 1166, clothes, so excited for this !!!

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[aambrosio]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 30;] wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. There was a lot that had been running through Annalys's head since her last encounter with Titan. The first time she saw him after four almost five years he was intoxicated and confessing his love for her. After that he was yelling at her saying she was nothing but a slut. And then he went and kissed her cheek before walking away from her. If there was ever a time in her life where she was confused Titan certainty made that encounter go to the top of her list. Especially after her hopes of making a breakthrough with the tension that was going on between the two of them. But then he went and pretended like nothing happened? That was messed up. It had sent Annalys's emotions into a backspin. There was no way that he could do that to her, it wasn't possible. Yeah she knew he was still hurt from her leaving four years ago. But how long was he expecting to make her suffer for it? If he really loved her that much maybe he should have asked her to stay, or chased after her. If he had asked she would have tried to make it work, but he didn't really seem like he wanted to. She would still give up everything for him and it killed her that it wasn't enough for him, but would it ever be? All he considered her was a slut, a stripper, a whore, a girl who flaunted her body in front of thousands of people on t.v. and on the runway. That was what her identifier to him was. And that had to take the cake on her list of things to destroy her emotions. Maybe she should take his advice and pretend that nothing ever happened, and that she wasn't completely and totally head over heels in love with him. If he could do it why couldn't she? yet, the difference between the two was that she couldn't forget her love for him. And she knew that he hadn't forgotten his love for her. Their love for each other just got lost in the mail. Her letters to him were ones telling him that she still loved him, that she wanted to try and stay together, that she missed him. But he had never gotten them and that didn't make sense to her. How does the post office lose that many letters? she had sent probably around three hundred letters to him before she had told herself she would never get a response. She had figured he didn't care about her, that he had moved. But apparently none of those were true, so why didn't he get them? or did he get them and he's just pretending he didn't to keep up his hard ass attitude. Annalys really wasn't sure what to believe anymore. All of her thoughts about Titan and the person she thought he was were all screwed up. She had turned to both Icarus and Sofia so far trying to figure out what she should do, but neither of them could really tell her what to do. It was all between her and Titan. Although they're both very stubborn so listening to each other is quite a challenge for the both of them. Anna knows he's not going to just show up at her doorstep and admit he wanted to give them a second chance, she had decided that she was completely ready to crawl to him on her knees begging him to give her a second chance. Well maybe not literally, because she would still like to keep her dignity. She would do whatever it takes to show him that she wasn't going to give up on him, ever. She was going to fight for him until her heart stopped. Yes, it sounds dramatic, but Annalys would do anything for him, because that's what you do for the one you love. And she couldn't go through losing him again. She had been the one to end it officially, but he didn't put up much of a fight either. And there was a lot that could have gone differently that night. The rest of Titan's family loved her, but it was hard to stay close to them with the tension between Titan and her. Icarus and Titan's parents still invited her over for dinner all the time, and she missed them. She missed the annual trips to greece that she would get to go on with the whole family. And knowing that Titan had gone downhill after the breakup, causing a hole in the family killed her. She blamed herself for that just as much as he probably blamed her. She ruined Titan, and she hated the fact that she had the power to do so. Anna had been lounging across the couch, trying to distract herself from the thoughts of Titan and how badly their conversations seemed to always be. Her chest felt heavy with dread, fearing that there was no hope for the two of them. She wanted to just dive back in to the way things used to be between them, but she had a feeling that even if they got back together she would still have to fight to keep him. And that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted things to be easy when they could never be. But then again, if things came easy they wouldn't be worth it. Her agent had called her yesterday asking her to go back to Paris for an interview with Vogue or something stupid, Annalys hadn't really payed much attention to her and told her agent she wasn't going anywhere and to tell them that she was sick with something that could sound convincing. She wasn't going to leave and go back to being a model with things being so rough here with Titan. And even if things got better she doubted she would want to leave anytime soon. She needed him, as much as he probably didn't want to hear that it was the truth. She had kept a picture of the two of them with her at all times, and would set it on the nightstand of every hotel she stayed at. He was her anchor, without him she would probably become lost in the modeling world and never return to reality. Without him she would probably become like her old friend Cecelia who had become bullemic and annorexic to stay thin to keep her spot as a model, only to have it taken away because she didn't fit Victoria's secret's ideal measurements. Cecelia had died from her illness and that scared Annalys to death, yes she had been given the gift of a naturally fast metabolism and her weight usually stayed within a five pound difference. She had to work just as hard as the other girls to keep her muscles and tone, but she was always afraid of letting herself think she wasn't thin enough. Of course she knew she was thin, but the possibilities of that getting stuck in her head was still there. And without her hopes of Titan still loving her, somewhere in the four years she was away from him she might have lost herself. As it was, with the way Titan had been talking to her, she had started to believe that she wasn't worthy enough for Titan. That she wasn't good enough. And that she could never be enough and it was killing her. She sat up from her spot on the couch and ran a hand through her hair, turning off the t.v. before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She really shouldn't let herself get so worked up about Titan. Things would work out if it was meant to be. 'If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was always yours, if not..' Annalys let her voice fade out, she really didn't want to think about never being able to be with Titan again. And thank god she had been given a distraction. Just as Annalys finished her sentence she heard the doorbell. "wonder who it is..." she said to herself as she stood up and walked over to the door, She honestly hadn't been expecting anyone. And had figured she would spend the day the same way she had spent all of the others; laying around in her own pity party watching the notebook and eating popcorn. She didn't even bother looking through the little peep hole, but she really wished she had. If she had looked she would have been able to better prepare herself for what was on the other side of the door. Annalys opened the door to see Titan standing on her porch, she was in shock to an extent. The emotions that she felt at that moment varied between happiness-love-confusion-shock and anger. She was happy to see him, it gave her hope that maybe he was finally ready to talk to her about things like adults. The love was self explanitory. Confusion was pretty self explanitory as well, because the last time she spoke to him he made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with her. She shock was at the fact that he was actually on her doorstep. And the anger.. well that was because he had the nerve to show up at her house, again, after all the harsh words that he had said to her. She wanted to slap him and kiss him both at the same time. " Titan...

[/color] " Her voice was quiet, she was still attempting to gather all the thoughts and words that were spinning in her head together to be able to form sentences. Her main question was... " What are you doing here?[/color] " She didn't sound mad, just confused. Her voice was soft. she surveyed his appearance to see that he was completely sober this time, so he had no excuse. ' God, he gets so much more handsome every time I see him.. ' she thought to herself. ' i'm so in love '

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words; 1679 | tagged; Hannah as Titan | status; DONE! | outfit; link

made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[titan]

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SO BABY, BE HONEST, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? WE LOST WHAT WE STARTED AND FOUND OUT MUCH MORE THAN WE WANA KNOW. I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED, SAVE ME FROM THIS BROKEN HEART, ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE AND FALL APART, SOMEONE PLEASE SING THIS LOVESICK MELODY. CALL MY NAME IF YOU'RE AFRAID, I'M JUST A KISS AWAY.

titan was no coward. in fact, he was the farthest that you could be from a coward. he was a daredevil, he was brave, blunt, and courageous, and he may not have been your every day hero, but he definitely wouldn't run away with his tail between his legs when things go a little bit intimidating for him. however, at this point, he was definitely feeling what it meant to be a coward. he didn't care about the wasted gas, the wasted money, what people would think of him if word that titan showed up at annalys' door only to turn around, get back into his car, and zoom away, all he wanted to do was go home. he wanted to forget this plan was ever conconted and he wanted to get as far away as possible from this house, from her. she was the last thing he wanted to see anymore. as he waited for the door to be answered, he ran over thoughts in his head, the same things that he had been pondering for the past week. she had turned his family against him, she had broken his heart and she continued to blame it all on him, and worst of all, she acted as if he didn't care at all. she went on to tell him that he didn't love her like she loved him, like he wasn't trying like he should have been, she was acting like she still knew him and as if she knew what was best for them, when it was clear she didn't. it was obvious that she was being selfish, not caring what he needed, which was time. why in the world did he still want to even look at her?

if there had been any time left to change his mind and leave while he still had the chance, that time had just run out. as he stumbled one step backward, the door opened and titan was found by annalys, standing there with his hands in his jean pockets and jaw open. he was definitely rethinking his sense at this point. "titan... what are you doing here?" it was a good question and a question that he didn't know the answer to, which was a realization that had just been made in his thoughts. why was he doing this in the first place. obviously he was still pissed at her. obviously he still wanted to shout and scream and tear her to pieces like she did to him so many years ago. he wanted her to feel what he felt when she abandoned him, except she'd have to live knowing that he was just a couple blocks away, not oceans. instead of answering her question, he pushed past her and entered her house without an invitation. after all, that was nature for him too.

he could tell that she was a little bewildered by this bold move of his. titan couldn't blame her for feeling a little confused, either, which he could see she was from the expression on her face. after all, after all of the emotional abuse and name calling and nonchalant attitude concerning their relationship that she was getting out of titan since their last confrontation, she couldn't of been too happy with him and she sure as hell knew she was the last thing on this planet that he would ever think about apologizing too, nonetheless talking to if it meant that he had to face her. he heard the front door close, however his back was still facing her. one of his hands had been re-positioned on the back of his neck, while the other one remained in his front jean pocket, as he tried to figure out how he was going to say this. shit, he was still trying to figure out what he was going to say. he had to admit, he didn't plan too well.

however, when he had mustered enough courage to face her, he didn't hesitate to turn around. quickly, made a one-eighty degree turn on his heels to make eye contact with her. they were well away from each other, but her smell, her breath, her touch- it was all very vibrant to him. "i don't know why i'm here, annayls," he said, hesitant and strained. "this isn't easy for me, lys- none of this. i can't just act like i don't care, as hard as i want to. as hard as i don't want to care, i... i do," he continued, already sounding more weak than before- exactly what he didn't want to happen. "you being here and saying and doing things, and thinking that i don't care about you, when..." his voice gradually got louder, then lowered towards the end of his words. "i haven't been completely honest with you." where was he going with this? he had no idea, but he did know that he had just said a lot more than he wanted to.

RORY AS ANNALYS, 830, clothes, so excited for this !!!

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[aambrosio]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 30;] wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. Annalys was surprised that Titan had shown up at her doorstep once again and in the back of her mind, and her heart, she took it as a signal of hope for the two of them. She missed being able to see him all the time and even if their encounters were screaming and yelling at each other, she would suffer to see him. Their situation had really become one of those moments when you don't realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. And what Annalys had before was love. Her entire world surrounded Titan and now without him she was lost. She laid around her house moping and trying to come up with ways to fix things or ways to tell him just how much she regrets leaving him and not working harder to keep their relationship. She was officially starting to blame everything on herself and none of it on Titan. Yeah he could have tried harder to stop her from leaving but she understood why he didn't. If he decided to leave her to follow his dreams like she had yeah she would be upset. But she wouldn't have been able to ask him to give it up for her. Finally she was beginning to understand why he was so upset and hurt. And as much as she hoped that saying she was sorry could be enough she knew it wasn't. All she could do now was try and stay strong and stick by him while he took the time to figure out whatever it was he needed. She was going to be there through the worst possible scenario's, even if it was watching from the sidelines as he moved on with his life. She honestly wasn't sure if she would be the same person if she had to see him with another girl. She would probably give up on a relationship completely and just become completely consumed with her career, and punish herself for choosing it over probably the only man in the world who could ever make her feel good enough. Like she was worth it. But every time she saw him, like today, it hurt. Underneath her body's natural happiness to see him there was a sharp pain in the realization that he's not hers anymore and that there was an honest possibility that he would never be hers, not ever able to have to herself. That was a hard thing to grasp. She really didn't want to imagine him with anyone else but her. In fact she really couldn't. Every time she saw him all she could picture was being with him, and being happy. There was always the possibility that even if they do get back together that it doesn't work out, and that he leaves her. Hell for all she knew the new Titan was probably capeable of faking his emotions to the point where he might get back together with her just to turn around and leave her like she left him. It was one of those possibilities that she kept in the back of her mind. She liked to think that he could never be that guy. That he would always be at least somewhat the same as the Titan she grew up with. She still kept her necklace on, although the way Titan spoke about it made her wary to keep it on. Honestly, it didn't matter what he thought about her wearing it. She would never take it off. It was a reminder of the old Titan and the life that she used to have. It was her reminder, not his. He didn't seem to want to remember anyways so he had no right to tell her that she wasn't allowed to. In fact she would bet her career that if she pretended to forget everything the way he had that he would be crushed. She also liked to think that her keeping the necklace and always wearing it made him happy. Although with the way he initially reacted she was positive that wasn't a true fact. But a girl can always hope right? Annalys was determined to keep a positive outlook on the situation that her life had presented her with. If she didn't she would just end up a depressed mess. And that definitely would not be healthy. Watching the way he stood there with his hands in his pockets made her curious as to what he was really thinking about. She was sure he hadn't really planned out what he was doing at her house again. Although that was something that she really loved about him. He always acted on impulse and almost never on thought out plans. He was spontaneous and she absolutely loved that. When they had just graduated high school, just a couple weeks before they broke up- they had gone on a random road trip to nowhere. Literally they got in the car and just drove. Stopping here and there for little things and sight seeing. And as soon as they had officially gone through an entire tank of gas they filled back up and went home. It was really one of her favorite moments as a couple. And now was one of those moments that she really hated. The tense, frustrating, and painful conversations that just made her realize how hard it was to even imagine moving on. The moments where she wanted nothing more than to kiss him just to get him to shut up. Even if it would mean that he left her for good. Just one kiss and she would really know how he felt. It was one way that she knew he wasn't able to really hide his emotions from her. His touch, the way his hands moved across her skin, the way he held her close. Those moments were the most important moments that she had imprinted in her body's natural reactions. She could remember the feelings that his touch left on her skin. She remembered the way his lips felt against hers. She wanted him, she needed him- and yet, she couldn't. Annalys stepped back from the door as he shoved past and walked inside, there was an intense silence between the two of them as she closed the door. She smoothed out the fabric of her shirt as she watched him. 'what are you thinking about?' she asked herself. She wanted to know his every thought right then and there. She wanted to know why he was there and what he was feeling. "I don't know why i'm here, annalys," she watched his expressions closely. He was being really confusing to her. One day he hated her and wanted to forget everything between them, and the next he was wanting to talk to her. "this isn't easy for me, lys- none of this. i can't just act like i don't care, as hard as i want to. as hard as i don't want to care, i... i do

[/i]" Her eyes went from being locked on his to the floor. Why was he telling her this? was he just going to hurt her again. "you being here and saying and doing things, and thinking that i don't care about you, when...[/b]" she looked back up at him, linking her index fingers together behind her back as she sighed. "Titan i...[/color]" she whispered as he continued. "I haven't been completely honest with you.[/b]" she took a deep breath, she wasn't prepared for this.. for any of this. "What do you mean...[/color]" She paused. Her thoughts were racing through the facts. She knew that he still loved her- that he never stopped, she knew that he was hurt and that she had broken his heart. What didn't she know? "what haven't you...[/color]" she feared what his answer might be. His answer was a mystery to her and that worried her. He could very easily say something to make her weak at the knees, or something that could break her heart into a million more pieces. "What haven't you been honest about, Titan?[/color]" she asked, her eyes locked with his as she stood there. There was nothing that she could think to prep herself for his answer. She knew she would just have to go with the flow and take it one word at a time.

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words; 1397 | tagged; Hannah as Titan | status; DONE! | outfit; link

made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[titan]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

what had titan been thinking? what exactly had been running through his mind when he made the decision to do what he was doing now, when he thought that this would be okay to do? clearly, it wasn't okay, because clearly, he wasn't in any shape to even look at her, nonetheless profess his undying love for her. hell, he didn't even want to think about her! for some reason, though, he couldn't stop thinking about her, and that was the problem. all he wanted to do was stare at her beautiful, brazilian face all day, the one that he had fell in love with the first day that they met, back in junior high school. all he wanted to do- no, all he needed to do was tell her what he was feeling, to get the reason as to why he was acting the way he was off of his chest. if he couldn't do either of the two, he had a feeling he would have gone crazy thinking about it- because, honestly, it was all he was thinking about in the past week. every time the topic of annalys came up, and for some reason it always found a way to, all he wanted to do was apologize to her. he wanted to give in to what she wanted- which was to rekindle their relationship- and go crawling back to her, regardless that it wasn't what this titan would do. that wasn't who the new titan was.

still looking at her, several feet away from her, he didn't know what he was going to tell her. he didn't know what excuse he would pull out of his ass as to why he had shown up at her house. hell, titan still hadn't figured out that much yet! he knew he had gotten in his car and driven the thirty something miles to her parent's house, but in that ten minute drive, he hadn't been thinking about what he was actually doing. he hadn't been configuring a speech in his head, a lecture to give to annalys, about why she wasn't being fair to him, about why nothing she was doing was fair. all titan had been thinking about in that ten minute drive was that he was going to show up and bewilder the shit out of annalys, whether that be by just having the nerve to appear on her doorstep again or doing what he should have been doing, which was actually saying something, saying anything, that was worth annalys' time and his own. although, luck at this point was not on titan's side.

"titan, i..." he could hear her feeble attempt to interrupt what he was saying, however he disregarded it and continued. so where was he going with that? what did he supposed to mean by he wasn't being honest with her? as far as he could tell, he had been completely honest with her. he had told her he still loved her and he had told her that he had never stopped loving her, however looking back on all of the conversations that they had recently had, he never once told her that he regretted not following her out that door. he never once apologized for not trying to win her back harder. thinking back to the conversation they had on the morning that titan woke up drunk on her couch, he had lied to her. he knew why he never stopped loving her. he knew why it was impossible to ever erase their relationship, to just delete it from the past like it was really that easy. he loved her, and in that moment, there was only one thing he wanted to do.

whatever possessed him to do what he thought he needed to do, he was sure going to regret it in the morning. in a few long but slow strides across the room to annalys, he crossed the room to do the one thing that was probably the worst that he could do for their current status. he kissed her. he placed both of his hands on the nape of her neck, and cradling it, he let his mouth touchdown on hers. as if there would be no consequences for this action, titan let himself stay in that position for a couple of seconds before pulling away. i still love you and that will never change... but it needs to. for your sake and mine, because we're only kidding ourselves if we think that we could pick up where we left off, because you're right. i'm not the same person i was. i'm not the titan that you love. though it wasn't what she wanted to hear and not even what titan wanted to hear, there was truth in the statement. his words weren't strained or hurtful, they were honest and soft. and i'll never be that titan again, because that titan let himself get hurt.

842, RORY AS ANNALYS,CLOTHES, SORRY IF THIS IS KINDA BAD AT PARTS, I RUSHED <3

[aambrosio]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: d3d3d3; width: 370px; padding-top: 10; padding-bottom: 30;] wretched, look at me, i've lost it melting on the table, in parking lots and markets. Annalys was in a daze trying to put together the puzzle that had become her love life. All she knew was her and Titan- Titan and her. That's how things had always been for her and that's the way she liked it. She knew that their relationship would probably never be the same but that didn't really matter to her. Whether it was she same as before or not any kind of relationship with him would be the best because she would try and make it that way. She just wanted to be with him in any way possible. Anything would be better than how she was right now. Before the break up she was always the one to take care of him when he would get sick or when he needed her she was always there. She didn't do anything bad or out of character, and she really didn't drink. Yeah the two of them would go out to parties as a couple and stuff but she didn't drink, and he only drank a sip or two. They were really good at not drinking or doing bad stuff like that. And now, after their breakup she has pretty much gone off the rails. She started partying way too hard with the rest of the girls and drinking too much for her tiny body. No she wasn't an alcoholic, because she didn't get drunk constantly. But when she did drink it was bad. After Titan everything that was good in her life disappeared into the black hole that appeared where her heart was supposed to be. When she left her heart stayed behind and now she needed him. She needed to get back to how she was, to be the old Anna and not this wild crazy girl that she became to keep her mind off of the pain in her chest from leaving. They were both in pain from her leaving really. And she was the only one to blame, which hurt more. She wanted to hear him say he loved her again. Yeah she wanted their old relationship back, but she knew that if they did get into another relationship that it would probably be completely different. Which could pose as a pretty big problem. Because if they both try to rekindle their relationship she could see them getting frustrated over the fact that it's not the same. He might get uncomfortable with the fact that she poses in front of cameras in pretty much no clothing at all and she can see her getting frustrated with the fact that he's always going to New York for work and having fan girls all over him. What if the new Titan had the ability to cheat on her.. Anna wasn't sure that she would be able to handle a situation like that. No, she was completely sure that she wouldn't. Neither of them were the same people that they used to be, both of them have changed and matured over the past five years and that would cause slight tension if they were to enter into a new realtionship. But Annalys honestly believed that it would all be worth it in the end. And if things didn't work out then they could both easily say that they tried. That they didn't give up. That they weren't quitters. Anna couldn't give up on them, she wouldn't. It would be like admitting defeat and that wasn't something that came easy to her. She was too stubborn to give up on anything really, and giving up on Titan would be the absolute worst thing possible for her to do. She watched him closely, she could tell that he was thinking about something and she really wanted to know what it was. Her heart stopped as he moved to her, everything seemed to slow down as though time it's self had begun to stop- the feel of his hands on her neck left a chill down her spine, and when he kissed her she touched her hand to his hand. The moment seemed to go on forever. She hadn't really realized how much she had missed him until that moment. She felt a wave of emotions sweep over her and her heart longed for the moment to last longer. When he pulled away she glanced down, and then brought her eyes back up to meet his. " i still love you and that will never change... but it needs to. for your sake and mine, because we're only kidding ourselves if we think that we could pick up where we left off, because you're right. i'm not the same person i was. i'm not the titan that you love.

[/i] " what was he saying.. of course he was the titan that she loved. If he wasn't then she wouldn't have come back. Yeah they were both different now but she was hopeful that things could change again. " and i'll never be that titan again, because that titan let himself get hurt.[/b] " he never would have gotten hurt if she hadn't left. None of this would have happened if she had just said no to the offer and stayed with him. " Titan...[/b] " She tried to find something to say to change everything, something that she could say to change his mind. To fix everything. " I love you, all of you, no matter how you are. Whether you're this new, stronger, tougher Titan. Or if you're the Titan that i first met and fell in love with.[/b] " It wasn't her best but it was a good start, she reached her hands up to his shoulders and held them there, keeping him close so he wouldn't move away from her again. " I don't care what kind of person you are, or what you're heading to be. I love you just the way you are, that will never change. ever. I know that things will never be the same way as before.. i know that, we can't pick up from where we left off but maybe we could start new.[/b] " Yeah she was being hopeful.. But really, hope was all she had left. " Titan i'm not giving up on us.. No matter what kind of us there is.[/b] "

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words; 1397 | tagged; Hannah as Titan | status; DONE! | outfit; link

made by owlgirl of caution 2.0

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[titan]

hjkljlk

OUR HEARTS ARE HEAVY BURDENS WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAR ALONE

what in the hell had titan just done? that had an easy answer- he had screwed up. he had just done the worst possible thing that he could have done in this situation. he didn't know what had com over him, what had possessed him to do that, what he was thinking when he kissed her, but it definitely wasn't smart. he was trying to remove the appeal of himself from annayls. he was attempting to turn her off, to eliminate whatever desire that annalys had when it came to rekindling their relationship, restarting it altogether. telling her how he honestly felt wasn't going to do any of that and kissing her certainly would not help his cause. titan, i love you, all of you, no matter ow you are. whether you're this new, stronger, tougher titan, or if you're the titan that i first met and fell in love with. this certainly wasn't helping his own personal cause, either. the cause that was created to get rid of any possible desire, any hold, any want that was still lingering for annalys. at this point, though, it was clear to tell that there was a lot of that. it was crystal clear that it would take more than a couple of harsh words and faulty statements and thoughts to get rid of his unwanted feelings for his ex-girlfriend, the 'love of his life.' listening to the words that were coming out of anna's mouth, he knew that it wasn't going to be easy. why? because he didn't want to hurt her. he didn't want to intentionally break her, even though that's all he had been doing. he may have seemed like he couldn't give a dime how she felt, but honestly, it's all he cared about. he didn't want to crush her- he wanted her to be happy, to be free of him, just like he needed to be free of her. it was what they both needed to survive at this point, honestly. if hurting her was the way to do that, then titan wasn't going to miss his chance.

i don't care what kind of person you are or what you're heading to be. i love you just the way you are, that will never change. ever. i know that things will never be the same as before, i know that, we can't pick up from where we left off but maybe we could start new. start new? how in the hell did she expect them to start new? there was no way to forget what they had been through. there was no way to just delete almost ten years of memories, five of those being pain and heartache. there was no way, as hard as either of them tried, to just start fresh. he could tell her that he didn't want to be with her again, he could tell her that it was best for the both of them to learn how to live without each other, and he could even tell her that somewhere inside of his heart, he wanted to be with her, but there was no way to start fresh. titan, i'm not giving up on us. no matter what kind of us there is. and there it was again, the words that he didn't want to hear. the words that included 'not' and 'giving up,' together, one after another. what was it going to take for her to just let go of them? how much begging, how much pleading, how many speeches would they have to go through before she realized that they were better, stronger, dependent people without each other?

fine, he said and did yet another idiotic move. with more force than before, and what was probably a ton of a more passion, titan kissed her again. now he didn't know what he was doing. he was officially running on pure emotion- the sexual tension that came with being so close to her, anger, lust, love, everything that titan was currently feeling was released with the touch of their lips. it lasted for a few moments longer than before, but instead of pulling away completely, he spoke with his lips still on hers. is that what you want?

707, RORY AS ANNALYS,CLOTHES, OH MY GOD THIS WAS BAD, TOO !!!! <3