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Post by aambrosio on Mar 3, 2012 21:30:58 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:16px; padding-right:16px; padding-bottom:16px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] if you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing
just fine, no matter what i say i'm,
not over you.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
There wasn't much that caused Annalys to be nervous. She could comfortably walk down a runway in lingerie and pose topless for fashion magazines. But being in the same room and standing so close to Titan caused her to be more nervous than she thought possible. Probably because after the past five years she had no idea how things would work with them talking to each other. But she was sure that one way or another there was going to be some painful words. And all the prepping she had done was completely useless. There was no way to prepare yourself to talk face to face with your ex boyfriend of six years, especially when you know that you are still completely and totally in love with him. She knew that her kindness towards him last night would probably confuse him a bit. Well that and her current kindness with attempting to cure his hangover. All she could think about was the fact that she hurt him, she really hurt him. There was nothing in the world that she could do to fix that. But it wouldn't hurt to try right? It was the least that she could do. All she could think about as she looked at him was how much she missed him. She knew she could probably never have him as hers again, no matter how much her heart longed for him to call her his girl again. So she would just learn to appreciate the rough and rocky conflicted situation they were in, as long as it meant that she could keep him in her life. She could live with him hating her and arguing with her. She could live with the hard expressions and the painful looks that made her want to die. She would cross the ocean and back if it meant he would still be a part of her one way or another.
Annalys watched his moment of caution before he took the water and pain relief from her hands. She was kind of surprised he actually accepted her offer instead of being stubborn and refusing her help like she had expected. His hard expression disappeared but was replaced with his obvious attempts to keep from looking at her. She sighed, knowing that him being so close to her was obviously hurting him more. She watched him carefully as he placed the bottle on the counter behind her, again surprised at how close he let himself get to her. She sighed as he placed his hands back into his pockets. Making it obvious that they were both uncomfortable being in the same room with eachother. But why? She knew that she was uncomfortable because she was still in love with him. Was he uncomfortable because she broke his heart and left? it didn't make much sense to her. " oh. it's just... odd. i was in new york city. i don't know what would possess me to do this. " She listened carefully to his words. New York? Why on earth would he take a cab from New York to her house? There was a lot about the situation last night - and today for that matter - that didn't make sense. " i must of, uh, gotten really drunk. that's not like me. " She nodded. " You were pretty drunk, i'm not going to lie. " she sighed, how was she going to tell him the things he said to her last night? She had a feeling he had absolutely no idea. " said some things i'm sure you really meant, although it was kind of hard to understand you. " she tried to lighten the mood by teasing him a bit. But she had a painful feeling that it might backfire on her.
Annalys looked at him her expression soft and guarded. She didn't want to let him say something that would cause her to break down right here in front of him. " but thanks for doing that. 'preciate it... and i'm sorry. i don't know what i was thinking last night. obviously i wasn't in my right mind. " She shrugged. Annalys knew what it was like to be ten levels of drunk and doing something regretful. She had gone and done some pretty stupid things herself. But never something like going to an ex's house and telling them that they literally broke their heart, and passing out on their couch. Even drunk her would make sure that no one else let her do that to herself. She looked at him, making eye contact for a few moments before he looked away. She sighed once more, " It's no problem Titan.. We all do something crazy every now and then when we're drunk. I guess drunk you had a few words for me. " she looked at the ground, crossing her arms across her chest as she played with her necklace. Realizing that she still had it on while he stood there in front of her. Would he say something? would he be mad that she still wore it? or would it hurt him more that she never took it off.. She slowly tucked it under her shirt and placed her hand on it. The cold metal caused a shiver to crawl across her warm skin.
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Post by titan on Mar 4, 2012 1:43:34 GMT -5
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SHE TIED YOU TO HER KITCHEN CHAIR, SHE BROKE YOUR THRONE AND SHE CUT YOUR HAIR, AND FRO YOUR LIPS SHE DREW THE HALLELUJAH. BABY I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. I'VE SEEN THIS ROOM AND I'VE WALKED THIS FLOOR. I USED TO LIVE ALONE BEFORE I KNEW YOU AND I'VE SEEN YOUR FLAG ON THE MARBLE ARCH AND LOVE IS NOT A VICTORY MARCH, IT'S A COLD AND BROKEN HALLELUJAH. "you were pretty drunk, i'm not going to lie." which was pretty strange. it was thursday, right? if he was accurate in in guesses, then he had gotten drunk- completely, extremely drunk- on a wednesday, which he never did. he saved the weekdays for other things, besides drinking. for example, on weekdays he usually had the most gigs for whatever reason. he tried not to intake alcohol on mondays through fridays, in fear of making drinking on those particular days a habit. it had worked for him ever since he was a young, naive eighteen year old and it just stuck. it had become habitual and he couldn't remember the last time he had gotten so drunk during the week. he would admit to having a drink or two, maybe a couple of beers at a bar or while a game was on, but he would never get to the point where he couldn't even remember where he was the next morning. he saved those sorts situations for the weekend. besides, there were hotter, crazier parties ons saturdays, so it really did make more sense. "said some things i'm sure you really meant, although it was kind of hard to understand you." oh no. that didn't sound good. when those words came out of her mouth, the first thought that came to his mind was that he had admitted that he was still madly in love with her, that he had never moved on, and creepily enough, he dreamed of what life would be like with her almost every night. never in his life had he felt so strong about someone, which made annalys incredibly special. in the past five years of not being with annalys, he had never once had a girlfriend that he actually loved or planned on spending more than a month or two with and it was the cold truth of the matter. he didn't want anyone but annalys, as impossible as that was.
her speaking through him out of his world of thoughts and back to reality. "it's no problem, titan. we all do something crazy every now and then when we're drunk." it was honest. he did a lot of crazy things when he was drunk, ranging all the way from threesomes with suggestive hookers and stealing garbage trucks. it was just how he worked, but never once had he ever thought of driving one hundred miles just to tell annalys... whatever he was going to tell annalys, whether that be that he still loved or that she was a life ruining bitch. "i guess drunk uou had a few words for me." the words stung, even though they obviously weren't meant to. in fact, the words were said in a tone that made her seem more hurt than him, not the other way around. had he really told her how much he had loathed her after they broke up, how bad he wanted to just take everything until the first day of junior high back? at this point, there was nothing more that he feared worse and he was truly wishing that what he said didn't follow anything along those lines.
finally, titan stopped flicking his eyes from object to object, trying to find something else he could focus his attentjon that was anything but annalys. finding his landing on hers, he started, "i didn't... i mean... i don't know what i said and i'm sure it wasn't true." the sad thing about that statement? whatever it was that he said, it probably was true, but said in much harsher words. for instance, she didn't exactly ruin his life, but she did make it a lot harder for him to wake up in the morning or leave his house, and even though he got over that patch of roughness, he was still left hurting. another example? she did break his heart, and... maybe that one was exactly true just the way it's said. "whatever i told you last night- if it made you think i hate you, i... it's just hard for me to like you. i dont hate you, though." even though such a reassuring statement was probably supposed to be a mood lightener, titan didn't even try to smile. he didn't move a muscle at all.
something she was fiddling with caught his eyes, however, which made him flick them towards the item that she was rolling around in her fingers. as he studied it closer, even taking a couple of steps towards her, but being sure to keep his distance, he recognized it. he had he not seen it before? he'd bought it for her when they were still together, towards the end of their relationship, in fact. he was surprised she'd kept it or at least still wore it. everything he had gotten from her he had stored away somewhere. he wasn't sure if he even knew where it was anymore honestly. as she tucked the necklace underneath her shirt and he was forced to look away, he looked back at her eyes, confusion filling his own. "why the hell are you still wearing that, kouma?" he said, clearly angry from the sound of his voice and for the first time ever calling her by her last name instead of her first. for some reason, anger overtook him. why was she wearing it? RORY AS ANNALYS, 902, clothes, LUV THEM [/td][/tr][/table] STYLED BY ROYALSTANDARD OF CAUTION AND NS.[/center] |
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Post by aambrosio on Mar 4, 2012 2:29:57 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:16px; padding-right:16px; padding-bottom:16px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] if you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing
just fine, no matter what i say i'm,
not over you.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Annalys's drinking days were pretty blurry to her now. She would go out on random nights with some of the other models and get too drunk to really remember how exactly they got home that night. She was surprised that none of them got raped or kidnapped with the outfits that they wore out, But then again they could also thank their personal body guard that they were always able to convince to go with them to the clubs. When it came down to it they would pretty much tell him 'either you're coming with us to keep us safe, or we're going without you' and eventually it became routine. When one of the girls wanted to go out the rest of them went with and so did Tallon, their Body guard. Of course the girls always stood up for each other when they went out and Annalys could remember getting into quite a few fights defending one of the other models. It was what she did. Mainly because when they were younger Titan had taught her how to defend herself. The two of them had spent many days together where he would work on teaching her how to fight if ever necessary and teaching her how to punch. They were fond memories consisting of her hitting him and feeling bad, usually ending with her kissing him where she hit him. If it weren't for him she would be pretty much defenseless. Of course her fights in the clubs didn't last long before Tallon was over and diffusing the situations. Most of the time Tallon would cut a deal with the bouncers making it to where the girls would get to stay in the club and the other girl would have to leave. That was a bonus about being a Victoria's Secret model, the publicity that the club got made them want to keep the girls there.
Annalys had confided in the partying as a way to get Titan off of her mind. She would lose her thoughts in the loud music, alcohol, and dancing. Not necessarily a healthy way of distracting herself but it worked for the most part. But nothing really made her forget about Titan and the fact that she never went a day thinking about how their future could have been. When she was sixteen she had their wedding completely planned out from the wedding dress to the honeymoon. She had decided that they would live in a big house with a puppy and two kids, one boy one girl. Her little sixteen year old self even went as far as to make a scrapbook containing all the details of her future, mostly described and pictured from photo's she had cut out of wedding magazines. No one has ever seen the scrapbook except her and she kept it securely hidden in her room at all times. After the breakup she tried so hard to make herself burn it. But how do you burn something that you have always wanted, especially when you still wanted it to this day? it simply wasn't possible.
" i didn't... i mean... i don't know what i said and i'm sure it wasn't true. " Annalys listened to how he formed his sentences. It felt as though he was trying to walk on eggshells around her. " whatever i told you last night- if it made you think i hate you, i... it's just hard for me to like you. i dont hate you, though. " that was real reassuring. He didn't hate her.. But he didn't like her. Annalys wasn't sure what emotion was really left for him to feel towards her. " All you really did was make it very clear to me that i broke your heart.. " She kept her steady expression as she clearly remembered the look of pain that he showed up with. It took everything she had to not want to cry just thinking of how much she hurt him. She looked up at him as he moved closer to her, realizing that he recognized the necklace. She knew his look of anger was probably mixed with some confusion as well. She reached out for him instinctively. The way she would have back when they were dating and were trying to compromise an arguement. " why the hell are you still wearing that, kouma? " He used her last name.. He had never used her last name as a title for her before and it stung. she let the hand that had begun to reach out for him fall to her side as she placed the other on the necklace under her shirt. " I never took it off... " she admitted, her voice was quiet. She really couldn't handle the ammount of anger he was showing her right now. " I don't understand why you're so angry about it.. Kofudiakis. Did you expect me to throw it away? lock it up in a box in my closet? " She looked up and narrowed her eyes at him. If he was going to start the last name shit so was she, and of course he was probably expecting her to do what most ex's usually did with things that they were given. Hell he probably had the things she had given him in a box in his closet. The difference was, that the necklace she wore around her neck was a daily reminder of what she had given up. She studied his reactions carefully. " Unless your reaction is out of pain because you're not really over me and you're hoping it's the same way for me. " Hoping was definitely not the correct term for her to use. Definitely was a better word for it because she was definitely still in love with him. And will be that way until the day she dies.
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Post by titan on Mar 4, 2012 4:33:55 GMT -5
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SHE TIED YOU TO HER KITCHEN CHAIR, SHE BROKE YOUR THRONE AND SHE CUT YOUR HAIR, AND FRO YOUR LIPS SHE DREW THE HALLELUJAH. BABY I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. I'VE SEEN THIS ROOM AND I'VE WALKED THIS FLOOR. I USED TO LIVE ALONE BEFORE I KNEW YOU AND I'VE SEEN YOUR FLAG ON THE MARBLE ARCH AND LOVE IS NOT A VICTORY MARCH, IT'S A COLD AND BROKEN HALLELUJAH. "all you did was make it very clear that i broke your heart." so he did admit to her how much he hurt over this entire situation. it just took that simple statement- that she broke his heart. there was really no explanation needed for that, because what else were you supposed to add to that? it was extremely self-exclaimatory, but for whatever reason, he didn't even care that that was what he had told her last night, probably among other things. at least, he didn't right right now. what he said to her was the least of his worries at the moment. what he really was worried about was why she was wearing that stupid necklace that he had bought for her several years ago. it was the necklace that he had bought her for whatever reason, and ironically, it was given to her towards the end of their relationship. it had costed him almost a fortune for being only an eighteen year old. at his age, the necklace was very expensive for just a girlfriend, which was exactly what annalys had turned out to be- a girlfriend. it was something that titan needed to get over, however it was easier said than done. the point, though? she was wearing the necklace he had given her as a token of love, not as an accessory. "i never took it off." for another reason, that was a ridiculous excuse to him.
"i don't understand why youre so angry about it, koufidakis. did you expect me to throw it away? lock it up in a box in my closet?" why was he so angry? he could tell her exactly why he was angry, but he was afraid the words would come out extremely cruel, and even though he was fuming at annalys right now, he didn't want to go saying things he didn't mean. for example, i hate you, you stupid bitch, i regret ever giving anything to you... along those lines. even though all of them were accurate at this particular time, they wouldn't be after a couple of hours of cooling himself down. "unless your reaction is out of pain because you're not really over me and you're hoping it's the sam way for me." the nerve of her! all that was running through titan's thoughts right now was how much he actually hated her, that she dared even suggest that he wasn't over her. even though it was a true statement, that wasn't the point. the point was that she dumped him, not the other way around. she wasn't allowed to torture him with those kinds of statements.
the worse thing was that he didn't know how to respond to her. his face hardened again and inside his mouth, his teeth were grinding together in frustration, irritation, and anger. he obviously couldn't and it's not like he even would admit to her at this time the way he still felt about her. hell, he didn't think he'd ever tell her about the way he felt. besides, he didn't know how long those feelings would necessarily last after this confrontation. she was obviously incredibly confident in herself to even dare put that necklace on, nonetheless flaunt it in front of him. if he wasn't mush in her presence, he would have demanded that she gave it back to him so he could give it to someone he'd actually love, or even better, burn it. it's not something that he wouldn't do, either. the memories, the emotion, everything about that necklace was a reminder of what wrong and even knowing it was still in mint condition killed him. after all, the relationship he had bought it for wasn't, so why should a silly piece of jewelry be?
finally, he started spouting whatever he could think of first. "why am i so angry? why do you think, kouma? i gave you that because we were in a relationship, to show you that i loved you, not so you could use it as a god damn accessory! why wouldn't you get rid of it? that's what i did with the shit you gave me." he made sure to enunciate the use of past tense in that sentence, which is what he did. he also had lied about the fact that he had gotten rid of the stuff she'd bought him. in all actuality, however, it was in a closet at his parents house in hartford. "i wonder how many guys you've fucked while wearing it, too. probably a bunch, right? now that you're miss party-hard-underwear-model?" he added angrily. he didn't even know how to approach the next thing that she had dared to say. obviously, he was still in love with her, but a realization hit him- what if he didn't actually love her and he was just nostalgic of her? you know, longing for what they had but not exactly for her. it was plausible that he could just be missing the relationship, the closeness, the friendship that they once shared and he wanted that again, but that didn't necessarily mean that he wanted it with her. "how dare you even suggest that i could ever feel the same way about you, kouma. you dumped me. you're basically a prostitute without all the touching. that's what you dumped me for, annalys, and it's bullshit." his voice was still the anger-filled tone that it was before, getting louder and louder with every sentence. maybe he was overreacting, but then again, maybe he wasn't. even if he was, he had a good reason to be able to.
he was looking down at her, now about five inches smaller than him now that she wasn't wearing any shoes but slippers, but after a couple minutes of the stare down, he averted his eyes away. then, he did what anyone would do in this situation. he turned around, and started for the door. "i'm out. thanks for the help, but next time i show up shitfaced at your door, call the cops. i'd be better off with them." harsh, but what did she actually expect? rainbows and unicorns? RORY AS ANNALYS, 1024, clothes, LUV THEM [/td][/tr][/table] STYLED BY ROYALSTANDARD OF CAUTION AND NS.[/center] |
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Post by aambrosio on Mar 4, 2012 20:59:50 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:16px; padding-right:16px; padding-bottom:16px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] if you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing
just fine, no matter what i say i'm,
not over you.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The situation was officially falling out of Annalys's hands. Her torturous comment was causing a downward spiral with their confrontation and she knew that it was going to hurt her, a lot. " why am i so angry? why do you think, kouma? i gave you that because we were in a relationship, to show you that i loved you, not so you could use it as a god damn accessory! why wouldn't you get rid of it? that's what i did with the shit you gave me. " His words were like a knife being stabbed into her heart, Her eyes began to get misty as he spoke. She honestly hoped that it was just the anger talking through him. There was nothing he could say now that could hurt her more than that. " wonder how many guys you've fucked while wearing it, too. probably a bunch, right? now that you're miss party-hard-underwear-model? " Just kidding, there was something he could say and he found a pretty good way to break her. Annalys could feel herself getting weak and her chest getting tighter as she processed everything. With everything that he was saying she was beginning to believe that it was all over. And that he didn't love her anymore. And that he probably stopped loving her the moment she left. But why would he come here and tell her that she broke his heart by coming back? Everything was spinning her head in a circle of confusion and pain. Not exactly her ideal situation.
" how dare you even suggest that i could ever feel the same way about you, kouma. you dumped me. you're basically a prostitute without all the touching. that's what you dumped me for, annalys, and it's bullshit. " Annalys took the harsh words he was throwing at her and tried to keep her composure as long as she could. But how do you keep yourself together when the person you've known and loved for almost eleven years was telling you things like this? Sure a lot had changed in the past five years but it hadn't really changed for her. She still loved him more than life it's self, even now through these harsh words she wanted nothing more than to apologize and try to fix it. No matter how hard he hurt her today there was nothing to stop her from wanting everything to go back to how it was. She needed it, she needed to be the old Annalys. And to be her she needed him. Because without him she never would have stayed here.
Annalys looked up at Titan as he stood over her, her eyes were watery and red but she refused to blink and let a tear fall. No matter how weak she was and no matter how close she was to breaking, she couldn't give up. " 'm out. thanks for the help, but next time i show up shitfaced at your door, call the cops. i'd be better off with them. " As soon as he took that first step away from her she felt her heart sink in a panic. She stepped towards him, a tear falling from her face as she reached out and touched his arm. " Please don't go Titan.. Please
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[/color] " Yes she was begging him to stay there with her. She had a dreadful feeling that if he walked away now he might not ever show up in her life again. She couldn't let that happen, she gave him up once and she couldn't do it again. " Please... I know i made a mistake five years ago.. I know i did.. And i know that there's nothing i can do to fix this but please let me try?[/color] " Her voice was soft and she wiped away the tear that escaped her eyes hopefully before he could see. " I can't lose you again.[/color] " she said, her voice barely above a whisper as she looked up at him, trying to find something that she could say to make him stay. Something to make him want to work on fixing things. " I never should have left..[/color] " Not the best she could have done but it was definitely a start. " i wear this necklace because it hurts, it's a constant reminder of the love i gave up for my career.[/color]" She took another step closer to him, keeping only a few inches between them as she let her hand stay resting gently on his arm. " it wasn't worth it.. Becoming a model wasn't worth losing you..[/color] " [/div] [/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by titan on Mar 5, 2012 1:33:43 GMT -5
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SHE TIED YOU TO HER KITCHEN CHAIR, SHE BROKE YOUR THRONE AND SHE CUT YOUR HAIR, AND FRO YOUR LIPS SHE DREW THE HALLELUJAH. BABY I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. I'VE SEEN THIS ROOM AND I'VE WALKED THIS FLOOR. I USED TO LIVE ALONE BEFORE I KNEW YOU AND I'VE SEEN YOUR FLAG ON THE MARBLE ARCH AND LOVE IS NOT A VICTORY MARCH, IT'S A COLD AND BROKEN HALLELUJAH. titan hadn't even taken five steps before he heard annalys' small voice call out behind him. "please don't go, titan," she said as she, he assumed, took a step towards him because he could feel her small hand on his elbow. "please." what was he supposed to do? be a jackass and leave, even though he could hear the pain in her voice? then again, he wasn't a push over anymore. he didn't do things just to please someone, especially when all she had been doing to him for the past five years was hurting him. all she had done for him was flaunt her body on television, as if she was taunting him, making him well aware that she was no longer his. she was making it clear that she didn't want to be his, because being titan's meant that she couldn't do what she apparently 'loved' to do, which made absolutely no sense to the twenty three year old at all. why in the world was wearing no clothing at all, on a stage, on a platform, on whatever it was she was standing on, in front of old men and people she didn't know. on top of that, she was seen practically naked throughout the world. if that wasn't trashy, what was? what hurt the most about her decisions was that she got rid of titan to make them. what was he supposed to do when she was pleading?
"please, i know that i made a mistak five years ago. i know i did and i know that there's nothing i can do to fix this but please let me try. i can't lose you again." once again, the nerve that annalys had blew his mind. it wasn't that he didn't believe her, because he did. he knew that annalys was a honest person and that she was a particularly blunt person, so he wasn't distrusting of her statements. what did make him shocked, however, was that it was just coming out now. after five years, she waited until she made a trip to his city, his home, his sanctuary, where he felt safe from seeing her face, to tell him all of this? why hadn't it come out before? he knew she was still in contact with both of his brothers as well as a couple of his close friends, so why didn't she ever leave a message for him through one of them? she could have very well asked for his number or email address, or even his current house estate to send a letter the old fashioned way. of course, the same could be asked of him, but the difference was that even though he still loved her, he didn't exactly want to be with her. who knew if the past was capable of repeating itself. i can't lose you again. those words especially stuck with him again, because all he was thinking was the words you just did. who did she think she was? he saw through the fame, because he knew her when she was a little person, and he would definitely not give her what she wanted.
"i never should have left. i wear this necklace because it's a constant reminder of the love i gave up for my career. become a model wasn't worth losing you." for some reason, however, he couldn't believe that part. he could believe that she had regretted what she did five years ago, but he didn't think that she necessarily meant the words that were now coming out of her mouth. if it wasn't worth it, why had she even done it in the first place? he shrugged her hand off, but not in a harsh, rough sort of way that would just add to the anger radiating off of him. he turned around quickly, first noticing the small distance between them, which was only about three or four inches. he wasn't afraid of looking her in the eyes now, which was exaclty what he was doing, because now he had the upperhand. he had her begging for him to stay like he had done to her the last night they saw each other, before she took the modeling job. he stared the five inches down at her, letting his eyes soften but not so much to let the anger in them fade away, as he opened his mouth to speak. "why do you think it's that easy, annalys?" he said softly now, lowering his voice by a lot. "because it wasn't easy for me when i wanted you to stay. it wasn't easy at all, and guess what, my attempts were pointless. it didn't work, so why should it for you? because you're famous?" even though he was obviously still mad, he kept his voice soft and low. "the fact that you wear that necklace doesn't make me respect you and it definitely doesn't make you strong, because you were a coward to get rid of me in the first place. remember, you didn't want to give us a chance, kouma." he paused, letting her take a chance to register the words in his mind. he also let the words register in his head, realizing that he didn't know if he meant what he was saying was true or not. "i've never stopped loving you, kouma. not for one day, not for one minute, not for one second, and i have never stopped thinking about you." he said, inching closer. "and i can't seem to figure out why." RORY AS ANNALYS, 924, clothes, LUV THEM [/td][/tr][/table] STYLED BY ROYALSTANDARD OF CAUTION AND NS.[/center] |
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Post by aambrosio on Mar 6, 2012 0:29:00 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:16px; padding-right:16px; padding-bottom:16px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] if you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing
just fine, no matter what i say i'm,
not over you.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Annalys was barely able to keep herself together. She was beginning to feel as though attempting to fix things would be pointless, as though Titan refused to let any of it affect him at all. She watched him as she spoke and tried to find a reaction to them that didn't involve anger. She tried to picture how a fight like this would have been solved back when they were still dating. She would apologize, he would apologize. And then they would try to calmly figure out how they could move past it. That was all she wanted. Annalys would give anything to just be able to figure out what they both wanted and go from there. Because all she wanted anymore was for Titan to love her again, for him to call her his again. Without that love from him she didn't really know who she was. Everything that she was had some influence from Titan. Her stubborn ass personality? Titan helped build, Her strong will? Titan, everything involved him. He was what she knew, he was safe. She worried that the only reason she still wanted to be with him was because it was what was normal. It was what she had gotten used to. No, that wasn't why not even a little bit. The main reason she wanted to fix things with him was because she still loved him with every fiber of her being. And sure it took her a while to realize that she had made a mistake. But she had been so busy working her ass off to get to where she was, and as soon as she made it to the top she realized that none of it was worth it. She would give up the fame and money in a heartbeat to go back to that day and decline the modeling offer. Yeah she loved modeling but lately it was just a depressing reminder that she chose her career over the one person she loved, the one person that had supported her through the hardest times in her life. Maybe she should have pushed harder to try the whole long distance thing. well, there was no maybe about it. She should have pushed for it. But then again he could have fought for one at the same time.
Annalys felt her heart drop when he shrugged her hand off. Her pleading wasn't working and she felt as though she was about to lose him, for good this time. She tried to keep her tears held back, and she swore to herself she wouldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't let him have that satisfaction of breaking her the way she broke him. What if that was exactly what he was looking for? " why do you think it's that easy, annalys? " the softness in his voice threw her off, she felt a lump in her throat as she tried to keep her composure. " because it wasn't easy for me when i wanted you to stay. it wasn't easy at all, and guess what, my attempts were pointless. it didn't work, so why should it for you? because you're famous? " She frowned, she went to speak but couldn't find her voice. " the fact that you wear that necklace doesn't make me respect you and it definitely doesn't make you strong, because you were a coward to get rid of me in the first place. remember, you didn't want to give us a chance, kouma. " she was a coward. She wouldn't deny that one. Maybe the reason she didn't want the whole long distance relationship thing was because she was afraid he would leave her. Maybe she gave up because she didn't want to give him the chance to.
She could feel the tears forming slowly in the corners of her eyes as he spoke. Her eyes were locked on his and she couldn't bring herself to look away. Even if tears fell from her eyes she would keep her strong expression. She was very aware of how close he was getting. " i've never stopped loving you, kouma. not for one day, not for one minute, not for one second, and i have never stopped thinking about you. " How on earth did he expect her to react to that. He had no right to tell her that, why would he tell her that? was this a sick game to him? She was standing in front of him falling apart and he had the nerve to tell her that he still loved her. " and i can't seem to figure out why. " Annalys registered everything he said slowly. She was still struggling to register the fact that he still loved her. " It isn't easy for me Titan.. I don't understand how you could ever think that any of this was easy.
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[/color] " she frowned and wiped the tear from her eye as it fell, ashamed that she had let it. " Maybe i am a coward, maybe i am just a worthless underwear model.. You can call me anything in the world Titan but all it's going to do is remind me of how badly i regret my choice.[/color] " She was at a loss for words really. Still fighting to process everything. " I never once stopped thinking about you. Never.. I've never stopped loving you. [/color]" She inched closer to him, looking at him with a somber expression. " I don't understand why i left. I was scared. and like you said, i was a coward. But that doesn't change the fact that i left.[/color] " she couldn't fight the fact that all her emotions wanted to do was break. " and i don't understand why it took me so long for me to admit my mistake..[/color] " All she wanted to do was give up and kiss him. She was losing him all over again and it terrified her. " please just tell me what i have to do to fix this Titan.. I'll do anything.. I'd give up the world for you. I'd leave everything behind.. [/color]" [/div] [/td][/tr][/table][/center] |
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Post by titan on Mar 6, 2012 1:18:35 GMT -5
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SHE TIED YOU TO HER KITCHEN CHAIR, SHE BROKE YOUR THRONE AND SHE CUT YOUR HAIR, AND FRO YOUR LIPS SHE DREW THE HALLELUJAH. BABY I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. I'VE SEEN THIS ROOM AND I'VE WALKED THIS FLOOR. I USED TO LIVE ALONE BEFORE I KNEW YOU AND I'VE SEEN YOUR FLAG ON THE MARBLE ARCH AND LOVE IS NOT A VICTORY MARCH, IT'S A COLD AND BROKEN HALLELUJAH. they were face to face now or at least as close to face to face as they could get, as titan was a couple inches taller than her. a silence hung in the room and everything seemed to slow down a lot more. maybe what he said wasn't exactly appropriate in this situation, especially since she'd already been on the verge of tears and now, they were trickling out of her eyes and down her cheeks, even though it was clear that she had been trying to avoid letting them spill over her eyes. clearly, she didn't want to look pathetic in front of titan. however, the crying probably softened titan up a lot more than when she wasn't. after all, he was in love with the damned girl and there was nothing more difficult than watching her cry. for a second, he even had to look away, but after the speech he'd just given to her about why she was a coward? he couldn't be such a hypocrite. he immediately flicked his eyes back down to hers. "it isn't easy for me, titan. i don't know how you could ever think any of this was easy." he didn't doubt her one bit. it couldn't have been easy dumping him after four years of constant contact. of not spending one day not together, not talking, not seeing each other's faces... it had to be hard, even if she didn't show it exactly well. hell, he didn't either. he knew how she was feeling, so there was one point he could agree with her on- this wasn't easy, for either of them. it was incredibly hard just being in her presence, nonetheless being this close. it couldn't of been easy being so considerate towards him, either.
"maybe i am a coward, maybe i am just a worthless underwear model... you can call me anything in the world titan but all it's going to do is remind me of how badly i regret my choice." however, it was that part that he couldn't exactly believe. sure, letting the words come out of your mouth was easy to do, but actually meaning them wasn't. there was no way she could regret her choice to dump him for such a once in a lifetime opportunity, which was what being a famous model, for victoria's secret of all places, was. he knew that she couldn't of regretted the decision to leave him for modeling, however there was the possibility that she regretted not giving a long distance relationship a chance- then again, what did he know? he didn't even known annalys anymore, just like she didn't know him anymore. "i never once stopped thinking about you. never... i've never stopped loving you. i don't understand why i left. i was scared. and like you said, i was a coward. but that doesn't change the fact that i left." as she inched closer and the words came pouring out of her mouth, like an instinct to protect not only his emotions but hers, he pulled his hands, that had been in his pockets the whole time, out of his leather jacket and placed them on her forearms to keep her from getting too close to him. the emotions in this were getting higher and higher with each word and titan didn't know how much more of it he could take, with what of annalys' crying and the fact that they were basically touching. "and i don't understand why it took me so long for me to admit my mistake..." finally, she addressed one of the issues that he'd been most concerned about- why hadn't she admitted her mistake earlier if it was such a mistake? however, the only answer he got was i don't know.
"please just tell me what i have to do to fix this titan... i'll do anything... i'd give up the world for you. i'd leave everything behind..." the sad fact of the matter was that he didn't know if she could fix it. five years of lost time was a long time and he was afraid that in those five years, he had lost hope for them- that didn't mean he had stopped loving her, but it definitely made him think. when the last words came out of his mouth, he tightened softly his grip on her- not realizing that his hands were still on her arms- and could feel the pupils of his brown eyes get larger with shock. she couldn't of meant that- she wouldn't leave everything behind. he knew it and she knew it, and even if she would, he couldn't let her. that was just too much to ask of her, as much as he wanted it. then again, her efforts in doing that might have been pointless. he didn't even know what he wanted.
"no, don't- that's not what you want. i know it and you know." he started, his eyes and his voice softening. the emotions had finally hit him with their full force. "i have my own life now, annalys, like you have yours, and you know, maybe our time is up. maybe it's been up for the past five years and maybe-" he cut his words short, feeling as if his heart was trying to find a way out through his throat. "maybe we just have to accept that." titan paused. did he really just say that? "i, uh, gotta go. i'm not even supposed to be in new haven." he ended momentarily, taking his hands off of her, but not moving an inch away from her. "see you around, kouma," and with a bold kiss on her check that only lasted a couple of seconds, he turned around and left, not looking behind him, in fear he'd see even more tears. RORY AS ANNALYS, 969, clothes, LUV THEM [/td][/tr][/table] STYLED BY ROYALSTANDARD OF CAUTION AND NS.[/center] |
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