i live my life by the moon - [ryder]

[cassandra renae pfieffer]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, line-height:120%;][atrb=style, width:350px; padding:20px; background:#f8f8f8; border-left: 40px solid #E0B1B1;] They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough Well it's 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light (tagged) tarnia/ryder (words) 824 (notes) finally got this up :3   when it came to her life there was nothing in it that she wasn't happy with. hell, she was living a full life as far as she was concerned. she went where she wanted to go when she wanted to go there, she led a happy life, she never did anything that she didn't want to do. she was always smiling and if she wasn't than it was only because she was watching some sad movie but she would be smiling again soon. cassy didn't take life too seriously. she didn't beat herself up over the small things, and when shit went wrong, well, she just picked herself up off of the ground and dusted herself off. that was all that there was to it. cassy couldn't think of anything that was missing from her life, even if there were a lot of people who might try and say otherwise. her mother for example who liked to remind her that she was getting older and it was about time that she settled down or went to college. did something with her life besides traveling from one place to another with no plans of what was going to happen in her life. cassy couldn't be bothered with any of that, though, she couldn't be bothered with the thought of having a boyfriend, that would only mean being tied down. which was not something that she wanted to do ever. she loved her life. she loved every damn little thing about it. even if her mom didn't understand. cassy had something that most people her age couldn't say that they had. she was happy. blissfully happy and content with everything in her life. so, so what if she worked at a fucking strip club, and so what if a lot of people who knew her would look down on her for it. she couldn't be bothered to care either way. because she was happy. and as long as she kept doing what she was doing, as long as she kept going on the road when she felt the need to, she would be happy. the only thing that cassy knew would cause her to feel a shift in that happiness was if she ended up being stuck somewhere. which, thank god she hadn't gotten stuck in during her life time. not even all of her friends back here in hartford could cause her to stick around. no matter how much she loved them. this sort of attitude had caused her to lose some of her friends in her life time, that much was true, but the ones that stuck around, the ones that were extremely happy to see her when she popped back into their lives, they were the ones worth hanging around anyway. only one thing thus far since returning to her beloved home town had shocked her, and that had been when she'd walked in to audition at the strip club and there was del on stage. now, that, was something that she hadn't expected. and after a long drawn out conversation she promised that she wouldn't tell anyone in the clan, especially not brad. which had caused her a bit of shock realizing that brad and del had some kind of thing going on. wonders never ceased and all that bsery. so with promises made, and friends seen, and kendall's kissed, she was left to go to work that night. it'd been a pretty normal night, one that included being up on stage. if there was one thing that she had realized it was that everyone loved a red head. or damn near everyone. there'd been very few people that she'd met thus far that hadn't seemed to take a liking to her. not that she was complaining. all that meant was that she made more tips that night. if there was one thing that cassy loved doing, though, it was giving lap dances. something about it, just thrilled her. being so close to someone, and she was allowed to touch them all that she wanted, but they couldn't touch her. it was a bit game of teasing, and she loved it. "yo red" she heard called at her which she knew could only mean her. cassy turned and gave him a flirty little smile before making her way over to him. it only took a nod of his head for her to know who the dance was meant for after letting him slip the bill into her panties. "hey there," she cooed and all it took was one look at the face of the man that she was about to give a lap dance to before a happily shocked expression took over delicate features. she moved in a very unprofessional way plopping onto his lap and straddling his hips before arms wrapped around the man tightly in a hug and she crashed her lips against his own. ryder murphy, who wouldda thunk?   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.

[tarnie1]

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU

Ryder couldn't remember a time in his life when he had really been happy, there had been brief moments, short lengths of time that never lasted and always made falling back to normality so much of a further drop. Ryder had given up on being happy, he'd given up on seeing good in people, in trusting people and completely cut out the idea of needing other people in his life. He had always been a loaner, always kept to himself and kept other people out and behind his emotional walls and he made it quite obvious he didn't want to change any of these things, he was a dick, a complete and utter douche who honestly cared about no one else but himself. Not that you could blame him, no one had ever given him a reason to think anyone really cared about him, his parents had given him up minutes after he was born, just dumped him outside a church in the rain and ran off, then he spent most of his childhood moving from hospital to hospital, and once his heart was fixed the only difference was that the hospitals changed to foster homes and orphanages where he was abused. That was more than enough to scare a person for life and scare them off trusting or letting anyone in as it was. Then there was the added fact that the one person Ryder had let in had abused it, they had somehow crawled through a gap in his wall and burrowed into his heart before they went ahead and chewed it up. That said person had been Cassandra. A person Ryder refused to talk about or even think about and someone who had made him even more defensive and guarded than he had been before. As if he hadn't been ruined enough before her.

Things had changed a lot since she had left town the last time, while she and Ryder had been together he seemed to have simmered down a little, calmed, he'd held a job for a little while, been able to stick with the same band for a whole 6 months without pissing someone off so much that they left. All that had changed now, he had completely given up on the job front, he had lost interest in any dead end job and moved to a more... profitable, self employed area which suited him much better. Sure, it made him a criminal, sure it took him to some dark places, made him do some things he should have been ashamed of but in all honesty, none of it bothered him, he didn't really have much of a conscience to be haunted by the bad things he did, he didn't feel bad for the people who's lives were ruined by the drugs he provided them, didn't care what it took to get the money from them when they couldn't pay up, in highn-sight, it was he perfect career for the heartless bastard. Another thing he didn't have space in his tiny heart to care about were the few people who drifted through his life, right now the main one happened to be Preston Jourdan, a beautiful, quite like minded girl who had something that Ryder wanted, fame. Something that was already sneaking up on him since they had started hanging out. He could tell that she was starting to fall for him, that his plan was coming together but h was just in it for the exposure. Because as much as he loved being the shady drug dealer, he would love to be the famous lead singer of a band much more. So yes, he was using her, and no he didn't feel bad about it. It was just who he was.

It was his goals of fame that had him in the strip club that night, as well as joining his band mate there few a few drinks and a nice view, he was also hoping to she 'his girl' as he was now referring to her as. His 'girl' was once a child actress and was now a stripper, they should have been the perfect couple. After being in there for a little while he realized she wasn't in that night but that didn't mean he couldn't stick around and have a little fun now he was out. He wasn't planning to get a lap dance but he wasn't exactly disappointed when his friend ordered a girl over, that was until he saw who it was giving him the dance. Cassandra Pfieffer, the Cassandra, his Cass was here, back in Connecticut. She was back, she was sat on his knee, with her legs and arms wrapped around him and her lips pressing against his. "Are you fucking serious?" it was an instinct movement as he sort of pushed her off him and stood up. Unable to handle being in the same space as her and not wanting to he rushed for the door and didn't look back though, knowing Cass the way he did, she wouldn't let him get away that easily.

[cassandra renae pfieffer]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, line-height:120%;][atrb=style, width:350px; padding:20px; background:#f8f8f8; border-left: 40px solid #E0B1B1;] They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough Well it's 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light (tagged) tarnia/ryder (words) 677 (notes) finally got this up :3   it wasn't often at all in cassy's life that she came across someone that made some sort of impression. someone that she had felt any kind of strong emotion towards. she was able to pack up and leave so simply no matter where she was, not feeling any sort of bent out of shape about leaving people behind. the people that she had back here in hartford she had left more times than she could count, but they knew she would be back eventually when the wind blew her back home. they knew that she did care, that she would always care, but she just wasn't that sort of person that could be in one place for too long. she just wasn't the kind of person that would ever be really able to settle down and set some kind of roots. not that she hadn't tried. at least once. she had tried with one person in her life, and when she looked back on it she really shouldn't have. not because she hadn't loved or cared for ryder but more so because, well, she was cassy. she was always running. it was just who she was and who she would ever be no matter how much she felt for someone. and really, she shouldn't have even tried with ryder. he was already one of those people that didn't trust, the sort of person that didn't open up and was pretty certain that no one would ever really care about him. and he was the absolute last person that she had expected to see while she was at work. not that it should've been that much of a shock. a strip club really was just his type of place. cass wasn't sure what kind of reaction she had expected when she had kissed him. maybe not some kind of super happy reaction given that the way that she had left him behind was not the best way possible. a note really was a terrible way to more or less break up with someone. but fuck, she hadn't known what else to do. she had been stuck in hartford for too long and no matter how happy she had been with him she couldn't stay. she just couldn't. and she really hadn't expected him to understand but she hadn't thought that he would be as pissed as he was right then. pissed enough to shove her off of his lap and then storm out of the place. well, cassy wasn't going to have any part of that bullshittery. he wasn't going to just shove her off of his lap and then storm out of there like she was the kind of girl that let anyone walk away from her. especially not someone that just the sight of was causing her heart to race faster than she had remembered it beating before. she wasn't going to just let him walk away from her and he would be a damn fool if he thought that she wasn't going to follow him. lack of clothing be damned. her heels clicked on the pavement as she followed him out into the brisk air and she caught up to him fingers wrapping around his arm and grabbing him. "oh no you don't. i suggest you just stop walking away right now ryder murphey or i will have to kick you and these heels are not just pretty, they're painful when accurately used," she warned. sure, she could understand him being pissed at her, and sure she could understand if he didn't want to be around her, or if he was hurt, or any laundry list of things that would make him want to walk away from her, but there was no way in fucking hell that she was going to let him. because she was cassandra pfieffer, she she didn't like it when things didn't go how she thought they would, and whenever she'd thought about seeing ryder again she had never expected for him to just walk away from her like he had.   Coded by Juliet of RCR, ATF, SP, & Caution.