WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL || tagged: hannah/icarus

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 629 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE "adaline, i think we both know the answer to that question." the response was surprising, she'd admit. icarus was a lot of things - a lot of good things and a lot of bad things. but one thing he usually wasn't was down on himself. he was proud and he bridged on being a little narcissistic and to hear him say that he was an idiot...or maybe she was taking it the wrong way. maybe he meant that they both knew that he wasn't an idiot because in truth, they both did know that. icarus wasn't a stupid guy. he was intelligent enough and conversation with him never faltered because he didn't understand something the way it did with a lot of other people. sure, he made some stupid decisions and he made her make a fair share of those in their time together. but it didn't mean that he was an idiot. he just...didn't think things through. love did make you blind, after all. well either way, the answer surprised her and what surprised her even more was when he took a seat next to her. that was basically an invitation to keep talking, to keep the conversation going and while it would be easy enough to act like she saw noah and leave, that was...well that was rude. and she wasn't rude. it seemed that there was just no escaping him. again. "fuck, i am twenty-four now, aren't i?" she said, turning to look at him and pushing back her hair, running her fingers through it as she exhaled deeply once more. "funny how it never feels like we're getting older and then all of a sudden you age three years and your entire life's turned upside down." she traced a pattern on the bar in front of her with fingers, looking away from icarus and taking drink of water to stop herself from talking. it was funny, though, how life just...changed. three years ago she would never envision herself in this situation. three years ago she would have that that in three years, she'd still be in australia. maybe working for national geographic or exploring the coral reef or talking to the aborigines about their culture. she certainly wouldn't have seen herself in america. or a gay bar. or talking to her ex-boyfriend. those things just weren't very 'adaline' to her but like she had just told icarus, a lot changed in a short amount of time before you even realize it. it took all that thinking before she realized that icarus had actually called her by her name, and then he was laughing and the sound was like music and she quickly averted her eyes again and took another drink of water to cover her expression. and then...then he was talking and he was...apologizing and...shit. she blinked back her emotions as he spoke and placed her glass down firmly in front of her, looking back at him when she felt she had gotten her poker face back. "yeah, well, noah takes care of me," she said in a tone she hoped sounded at least a little cheery, but she felt it ended up sounding ruder than she meant it to. but she couldn't help that. because honestly, while she had been doing well lifestyle wise everything else around her still sort of felt like it was falling apart, and she had a feeling it would until she got australian soil back under her feet. she bit her lip. "thank you, though. for apologizing. i mean...not thank you just...it's all right. some times things just don't work out." she sighed and looked down at the bar, tracing patterns again. "even if you really really wanted them to." lol i didn't see this before. i'm too lazy to find an outfit so get creative.

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5

[icarus mcgregor koufidakis]

EYES WIDE OPEN, YOU'RE THE LAST THING ON MY MIND

when icarus and adaline broke up, every night for a couple of months after that, he thought about what it would be like to reunite with her again. in fact, he still thought about it, and on more than one occasion. he imagined it to be special- maybe a little violent, because come on, he had done quite a bit of damage on her life when he moved her out here, and then dumped her. it wasn't going to be all rainbows, doves, and flowers, because obviously, what adaline felt for icarus probably wasn't any of those things anymore. when icarus thought about what adaline was probably thinking when she thought of him, chainsaws and axes popped up instead. could he blame her? did he blame her? not at all. not one bit, because this one time, he'd admit that what he did was stupid and cruel. icarus was a proud man, and rarely ever admitted he was in the wrong, but this once, he would.

so when adaline mentioned a certain noah, all he could do was bite his tongue. she wasn't in a relationship was she? then again, why should he have cared if she was in a new relationship? there's had turned to shit, so it's only natural for her to try again with someone else. he couldn't jump down her throat for trying to be some happiness into her miserable life in america. the one that he brought upon her. she had the right to have a new boyfriend, even though icarus was praying that this noah guy was just a friend, and not her new man. icarus couldn't imagine himself with anyone but adaline, and that was the cold hard truth. yet again, once you go adaline, you never go back. maybe that feeling was mutual, maybe it wasn't, and it was looking that adaline wasn't in the same boat as he was. for adaline, she was probably thinking the opposite- once you go icarus, you never really do go back. to him.

"funny how it never feels like we're getting older and then all of a sudden you age three years and your entire life's turned upside down." and it was funny. three years ago, icarus was on an internship in australia, where he met adaline. he thought that he'd be doing something productive with his life three years from then, but where was he? he was teaching a bunch of little brats seven hours of the day. he saw himself with adaline, somewhere that wasn't connecticut, doing something that involved what he actually went to school for. obviously, that's not how his life had played out. now he was teaching biology to a bunch of sophomores in hartford, fucking connecticut, with no girl, because he was too afraid of the commitment when he had the chance. "it is funny, you're right. my life consists of grading biology tests and going to gay bars. how funny is that?"

"i don't think that was it, adaline. i don't think that 'not working out' was the case." he honestly didn't. he knew what the problem was. things were working out, for the both of them. in fact, things were going perfect until things started going too fast. obviously. their relationship was like going fifty in a fifteen zone. he should have figured that out the minute he asked her to drop her own life to make one with him in america. "and, for the record, i really did want it to work." and there he went again. icarus couldn't stop while he was hot, could he? he just had to keep opening up his mouth, and say the dumbest things. "i'm sorry, i didn't... i didn't mean it like... who's noah?"

627 WORDS. LOL SO THIS ONE WAS BAD TOO.

[adaline kaiya taylor]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 916 ( TAGGED ) HANNAH/ICARUS ( STATUS ) COMPLETE adaline offered up a small smile. grading biology tests, hm? it was funny, how life just didn't work out the way you planned it. she went to school for archaeology, he for paleontology, and they both dreamed of a future together. and where did they end up? sitting in a gay bar, a play critic and a biology teacher, separate and probably very much confused. because she couldn't speak for icarus, but she was definitely more than a little confused about how she got herself in this situation. it was something she had been asking for years now - how did she get here? what was she doing? why wasn't she home? why did she go to gay bars when she was straight? these were questions she honestly didn't know the answers to and questions she didn't know if she wanted answered. because if she were being truly honest, she was afraid of going home. because what if things were different now? what if australia didn't feel like australia anymore? what if it just made her feel like america did - alone, scared, confused, empty? what then? where could she run after that? she couldn't run forever. it wasn't logical. she bit down on her lip. "about as funny as me going from an archaeologist to a play critic," she snorted, "and visiting gay bars on a regular basis. life - what an invention, right?" and she thought for a moment there that she was going to be able to do this. she could slide back into a normal conversation with icarus, she could make it until noah got back to her. maybe she'd even say goodbye and hope to see you again or something of the sort when she left. maybe it could be normal and she wouldn't have to worry if she ever bumped into him again. but no, of course it couldn't stay that way. it would be far too simple and since when was life ever simple? it was like an unwritten law in the universe that everyone's life had to be complex and intricate and delicate so that even the slightest shift could send things toppling again. which was exactly what happened when icarus opened his stupid big mouth again. again, she found herself looking away until she could regain her poker face. but even the best poker face in the world, the most practiced of blank expressions, couldn't keep the bite out of her tone as she spat, "well you made that really bloody apparent, didn't you?" it was harsh but honestly? honestly? he was going to pull that? that whole 'i wanted it to work' bullshit when he was the one who ended things? what did he take her for? she wasn't an idiot. he knew that - he was with her while she worked, met her in the prime of her education. she wasn't going to sit there and believe that he really wanted things to work out when he dumped her with the stupidest piece of shit excuse she had ever heard in her entire life. "i love you but i can't be with you," give her a break. relationships took time and effort and a mutual give and take that he obviously just wasn't willing to put up with and they had ended. they hadn't worked out. he hadn't wanted them to, and though she knew she was being stubborn when he was right there saying he was sorry and he hadn't wanted to end it, did he really expect her to believe it? honestly? and why was he asking about noah? she'd already told him that her roommate was gay - couldn't he put two and two together and realize that her roommate was taking care of her? "what does it matter to you who noah is anyway?" she asked, and as if on cue, there came the curly-haired man pushing through the crowd, the blonde from earlier in tow. he tapped her lightly on the shoulder and she turned and jumped, startled. "shit..." "scared ya," noah replied with a grin. "i'll be in the car with uhm....uh...." "kaden?" the blond offered up and noah nodded. "yeah, kaden here. so say goodbye to your pretty friend and get goin--actually..." he leaned forward and turned his attention to icarus. "are you doing anything particularly exciting tonight?" "okay, it's time for you to go now," adaline said quickly, knowing where this was going, and she pushed on noah's chest to get him to start moving. the older man just laughed. "whatever you say, darlin'. come on, kyle." "kaden," the blonde said again, but he seemed a little too drunk and/or horny to really care that noah was being an asshole and let himself be dragged off anywhere. her sour mood lifted slightly, adaline shook her head and turned back to icarus. "lucky you," she said, "that's my cue." she pulled out a few rumpled bills and laid them on the bar, which made the bartender come rushing back. "just keep the change, i just want to go," she said to him and hurriedly pushed the bills away and turned to go. but first she turned back to icarus and said, "and if you're really that curious, that was noah. now if you'll excuse me..." and then she pushed past him and started following in her drunk roommate's footsteps, questioning once more why in the hell she went to these stupid places in the first place. lol i didn't see this before. i'm too lazy to find an outfit so get creative.

table by CALIFORNIA DREAMING of CAUTION 2.0, lyrics by maroon 5