WHEN WE'RE ALONE [blake]

[artemis cadence russell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A T T Y i had everything... she had to say, she rather enjoyed her living situation. not that anyone with eyes wouldn't what with the fact that her roommates were both two very attractive men, even if one was a jumpy little shit that always seemed to want to pass out whenever she was around. but it was more than that she enjoyed looking at them when she was curled up on the couch and too lazy to make her way back into her room. she just genuinely felt...safe. for the first time in a long time. and maybe it was because blake had refused her offer for sex the first time she had offered it up in exchange for his kindness or maybe because she got the urge to hug and punch caleb every time he freaked out around her, but there was something that just felt right about her living situation, even if she knew there were people who would think of it as strange because she was living with two significantly older men and she herself was a sexual being by nature. but she didn't care. she was safe, she was happy, and she honestly didn't know what to do about it. see, when she was happy her natural response was to give somebody a proper thank you. however, blake had refused every advance she had made toward giving him a thank you the way that artemis russell gave thank you's. and she didn't know if it was because of her age (though it never mattered to anyone before) or just because he was just that damn good, but it was starting to get a little annoying. she was doing everything she could to ensure that he knew how grateful she was, even going as far as to put on pants around the house because she knew how uncomfortable people could get with her walking around half-naked all the time. she was naturally just an open person and though it was hard, she was trying to adjust for her roomies. as a thank you. but it still didn't feel like enough. it didn't help that blake (since caleb was just another one he had taken in just like he'd taken in her) was just so damn attractive, too, which made it that much easier for her to want to love on him. it was getting harder and harder to keep listening when he said no. because honestly everyone gave in eventually. some just needed some extra persuasion, persuasion that she had resisted giving blake until now. but she had to face the facts. this day was going to come eventually, and she figured that maybe she'd get lucky. it had been a pretty good day as far as her days went - she didn't get pissed off at anyone, everyone responded well to her jokes, and since she wasn't required at work, she was free to do all the meditation and yoga that she needed to get her in high spirits. because of that, she hadn't really left her room much, just sort of lounging around. she left the house once for some coffee and just because she needed out of the apartment sometimes but other than that, she had just locked herself away to think, meditate, and stretch. it was around the time that she had reached complete relaxation that she decided it was time to press her luck with blake again. so with that in mind, she left her room to walk into blake's, not bothering much with formalities. she gave him a little half-grin, shifting her weight to rest on one hip as she looked in on him. "hey you," she said before stepping further into his room. if anything she could just play it off as wanting to have a chat. roommates chatted didn't they? ...opportunities for eternity Tags;; kit/blake/later caleb Notes;; roomies are the greatest ok Outfit;;this

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table by MudBug

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[blake dean goldstien]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: D0D4D7; border: #526976 solid 9px; width: 410px; padding: 5 5 5 5px;] i can live without you but without you i'll be miserable at best When Blake had first taken in Caleb everyone around him didn't quite understand. Gabe made claims that he was oh so gay, Sharona told him that all of his shit was gunna be sold, and Ray, well, Ray got it. Blake liked to help people. He liked to see people get back up off their feet. And he himself, well, he had been judged enough in his life just because he wasn't the most straight laced prim and proper guy around, so really, he didn't see much sense in doing it to another person. What he'd gained from taking Caleb in off of the streets was a best friend. A little brother. Someone that he could count on and trust. And each day that Caleb got better, each day that he stayed strong in his sobriety, Blake felt like he was doing a little bit of good for the world. Like, he had some kind of purpose that was beyond fixing motorcycles. The day that Caleb and he had decided to take in Atty, though, was not something that most people thought was normal. She was a young girl, she was a pretty girl, and by the way that she acted when she came into the house and tried to have sex with him, Blake was more than a little sure what happened at the places that she got invited to stay. Blake was not that kind of man. He was not that kind of person that would take advantage of a situation like that. Especially because the main reason he'd taken the girl into his home in the first place was to make sure that she was safe. That nothing bad was going to happen to her. Atty was one of those girls that didn't really know how to give thanks without sex, though, and Blake understood that, but that didn't mean he was going to be sleeping with her anytime soon. His day had been rather uneventful. He had breakfast at the restaurant that Caleb worked at and bullshitted with him for a bit. Then he went to the shop and did a few things, stopped by the music store to pick up a few strings for his guitar, and then it was home bound for him. He really did love his apartment, the way that you could see pieces of every person that lived there. For the longest time it had been such a bachelor pad that there was nothing he could do to change it. Atty though, she brought in those little feminine touches. He didn't mind them, and he was more than a little sure that Caleb didn't either. Sure, she wasn't June Cleaver or anything like that, but, she was still a great addition to his little family. Blake had been sitting in his room restringing his guitar when he'd heard the door opening. Which really wasn't so strange in his home seeing as he had a pretty open door policy. If the door was locked, that meant leave him alone, either than that he was pretty cool about people just walking in. Especially Atty. Who he felt, or well, couldn't help but feel had a few problems that she might end up wanting to talk about. And he was just the listening ear that she could need, priding himself on his ability to listen, even if dishing out advice wasn't always his strong suit. "Hey," he returned the greeting moving to lean his guitar on his stand and then turn his attention fully to her as he sat there on the edge of his bed with one foot tucked behind the other knee. "What's up?" because, really, by the look on her face she'd come into his room with a purpose, though, he was a little nervous to find out what that purpose was. words idgaf tagged renee/atty notes blah blah blah template coded by becky! of caution 2.0

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[artemis cadence russell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A T T Y i had everything... blake was...he was something else. atty had met a lot of people in her time. not necessarily all good people, but she could say that she had met a lot and out of all of them, blake was one of the best. he was just so...open. open and kind and safe and careful, and though he was by no means a saint, she liked it better that way. saints pissed her off more than words could describe because they always walked around shitting rainbows and butterflies like the world wasn't a horrible place. besides, she owed blake a lot as it was. without him, that man would not have been kind to her. without him, she'd probably still be on the streets, more broken than before with no one around willing to help. without him, she'd still be lost and cold and though determined to never return home, still scared. but because of him, she was safe. she was warm. she had food and shelter and clothes and things she never had while living on the street in new york. so she didn't think it was so strange to want to be physically close to him. maybe other people did because he was so much older than her, but honestly? atty had had sex with men much older than blake was when she was younger than the almost nineteen years she was now. those were men who were taking advantage, men who knew she would do whatever it took to get help. and even if she could close her eyes and pretend she was somewhere else, it never made it easy. but blake made it easy to want him. blake made it easy to want to be affectionate with him. blake made it easy to forget for a while about whatever the hell age was because blake made it easy to want to thank him. and she was thanking him for so much more than a bite to eat or a cigarette to smoke or a place to take a hot shower. she was thanking him for security and safety and for a home. this was more than a debt repaid. this was her wanting him. and his rejection was most unusual. it really was. she was not used to someone looking at her when she was so willing to whatever they asked of her and saying 'no'. the idea was ludicrous. even a little insulting. the first time she had been rejected was like a slap in the face and it didn't get easier after that. of course it had just become a little bit of a joke with her from there but there were times when she seriously considered just pushing him to see how far back she could make him bend. she desired closeness, she needed a way to truly express her thanks and the strength of her affection and how much this really meant to her. she didn't bother with caleb because anyone could see that he was a lost cause but blake...blake just needed to let go of a few things in his mind and then she could get him where she wanted him. and the way he set aside his guitar for her was really just asking for it. not that he could possibly know what she had in mind but it left him open, left his attention all on her, and though she was not going to complain at all, she did feel bad for a second about taking advantage of this man, this kind, kind man's hospitality. but he wanted it. in the end, it was all they ever wanted and she didn't see what the big deal was about skipping to the end of the story and getting all the dirty bits out of the way first. it made it hurt less when the betrayal set in later. "i was just doing some thinking," she said, walking toward him. "in my room. meditation. yoga. you know, all that." she smiled slightly stopping when she was standing in front of him. "just about everything you've done for me." she reached out to run a hand down his cheek before pushing hair out of his face and running her fingers back through it. "and i just wanted to say thanks." she leaned into him, her fingers threading in his hair. "a real thank you." ...opportunities for eternity Tags;; kit/blake/later caleb Notes;; aksjdfal; Outfit;;this

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table by MudBug

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[blake dean goldstien]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: D0D4D7; border: #526976 solid 9px; width: 410px; padding: 5 5 5 5px;] i can live without you but without you i'll be miserable at best Blake had known when he'd taken Atty in that she wasn't going to be the easiest person to deal with. Not that she didn't fit oddly well with him and Caleb, because, well, she did. But there was one thing about her that Blake knew he would run into as a problem again and again; that Atty was going to think no matter what he said that sleeping with him would be a way of thanking him. He understood it, he understood how men tended to be, especially when a beautiful girl was involved, but Blake Goldstien would never be one of those men. He never had been, he'd never seen much sense in sleeping with people. Especially as some kind of way of payment for his hospitality. And yet, he knew that she would keep trying. Because Atty had to be as stubborn as he was when it well and came down to it. He supposed that was half of the reason that he liked having the girl around. So really, it hadn't shocked him the way that she came into his room, the look on her face. He was silently cursing himself for moving his guitar, knowing that it'd given her the perfect opening after he had done it. Then again, it wasn't like he could just pick it back up and the move would be defeated. Those blues of his watched her as she made her way towards him, a light smile on his lips. The closer that the girl got the higher his brow rose until she was standing right in front of him with her fingers in his hair. The thought crossed his mind to just deny her again. Give her a small thanks and then let her know that he just wasn't that kind of guy. But those words, seemed to fall deaf on her ears for all the times that he had told her. It was about time, he tried a different approach. "Atty," he started out his voice a bit tired as he looked up at her. She was a beautiful girl, he would give her that much. But she was young, so much younger than he, and much better suited for someone Caleb's age. Though he knew all to well that that rabbit of a boy wouldn't be able to handle a girl like Atty if his life depended on it. And hell, maybe he couldn't either, old man that he was. If nothing else though, he was going to give this different approach a try. With one swift movement he gathered her into his arms and moved her so that she was laying on the bed and he was hovering over her, one bent elbow on each side of her head. The man looked down at her with a coy sort of smile on his lips before he brought his face dangerously close to hers. So this was what she wanted, he knew that's what it was, but he was not giving in. No, this was not him throwing in the towel and just letting her have her way with him. After all, he had lived a bit more life than her and he'd been met with girls like her on more than one occasion. "Here's the thing," he started out and moved his fingers through her hair. "You're beautiful. You're funny. You're sweet. And so much in a girl that's worth someone having." Then another pause in which he brought his lips close enough to hers so that there was a whisper of touching. "I would be happy, to date you. To have you as my girlfriend. To take things slow with you and eventually sleep with you." Then he moved, pulling his face away from hers and his body off of hers. "But I'm not going to sleep with you as some kind of thank you for letting you stay here. You're worth more than that." And with that he pressed his lips to her forehead for a brief moment, then moved off of her and off of the bed. "What do you want for dinner?" he asked, with a casual tone to his voice. words idgaf tagged renee/atty notes blah blah blah template coded by becky! of caution 2.0

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[artemis cadence russell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A T T Y i had everything... she decided in an instant that she liked the pressure of his body. not that that was really saying much, since she liked the pressure of anyone's body against hers but blake's held a certain uniqueness that she would admit to thoroughly enjoying. of course, she was in disbelief for a second that that was really all it took. a little bit of time, a couple words, a simple touch. then again like she'd said before, they all gave in eventually. they all stopped being so innocent and gave in because who wouldn't with an opportunity like that presented to them? she was a pretty girl, she was a willing girl, and she was a legal girl, and to most people, pretty, willing, and legal were the only requirements they had before they threw their scruples out the window. which she wished and for a moment believed blake would do. just forget for a moment that he was good guy and let her do what she was going to do. instead his words ruined it, though she would admit that the closeness of his lips was incredibly distracting. she could feel them ghosting over hers as he spoke and it was because of this distraction that she almost missed what he was saying. honestly, she could have died. that wasn't what she wanted. she didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend - hell, she couldn't be anyone's girlfriend because what the fuck was a guy like blake going to want with a girl like her? especially if he wanted to take things slowly. slow wasn't in her vocabulary, dating or not, and it was more like her to form a relationship through sex and take it slow with the emotional aspects of it. because he couldn't honestly believe that she was capable of that level of feeling, could he? he couldn't honestly believe that she could make herself into someone suitable to be his girlfriend? the idea was as crazy as she was, and though she normally worked well with ideas like that, this one just left a sour taste in her mouth. because maybe blake thought that she was worth more than just a casual fuck but the truth of the matter was? blake didn't know her at all. he didn't know her past before he met up with her in new york. he didn't know the things she'd done, what she'd done to people and what people had done to her. he didn't understand that she really wasn't worth the trouble of dating and getting to know and taking it slow because by the time they figured out who she was, they were leaving her on the side of road and wishing her luck in her travels. she wasn't worth the trouble. what was she other than a pretty face capable of bringing in money if she took off her clothes for a live audience a couple times a week? blake didn't seem to understand that she wanted to be something worth waiting for. but she wasn't. god damn it all, she really wasn't. the pressure of his body like the pressure of his lips was light. but god in those moments it felt nice. she didn't quite realize how nice until his lips pressed a kiss to her forehead and he pulled away from her, just standing up as if he hadn't just given her an excuse to reflect back on how worthless she really was. she couldn't properly thank him for what he was giving her and she couldn't give him what he needed in order to achieve the status needed to give him that thank you. if that wasn't enough to send her self-worth plummeting down to the bottom of the ocean of her life, she wasn't sure what was. a pout formed on her lips as she sat up, propping herself up on her hands as she looked on at him. it wasn't fair of him, to be so cute and so unattainable and just so....sweet. she sighed as she pushed herself off the bed, not caring about the state of her clothes or what any of that moving was doing to her. she kept that cute little pout on her lips, stepping forward to wrap her arms around blake's waist and press her hips into him. "you're going to give me an opening like that and then ask about dinner?" she said, one hand coming up to run along his shoulder and down his arm. "it's not just a thank you, blake." she ran her fingers down past his wrist to his hand, weaving her fingers in with his and looking up at him. "this can't be so easily distracted by dinner." ...opportunities for eternity Tags;; kit/blake/later caleb Notes;; aksjdfal; Outfit;;this

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table by MudBug

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[blake dean goldstien]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: D0D4D7; border: #526976 solid 9px; width: 410px; padding: 5 5 5 5px;] i can live without you but without you i'll be miserable at best If there was one thing that Blake liked to pride himself on it was the way that he could see past people's bad qualities into the good parts of them. He himself had been looked down on for so much of his life that he knew even those people that most would say weren't worth your time and effort indeed were. Atty, she was one of those people. Though he could tell that she was yet to become aware of this fact. Much like Caleb in that way. One of those people that were actually good at heart but had been told that they were bad for so long that they believed it. It was his own belief that with people like Atty and Caleb all it took was time, and someone to let them know, that no matter what they've done or how they acted, they were good people. If neither of them were, he wouldn't have them living with him. Which was why he took people like them in, because they were good people. No matter how much they didn't think so. And he could tell in her face that his words confused her. Hell, might've even pissed her off because he wasn't so stupid as to not be aware that she wanted to have uncomplicated sex with him and he just wasn't going to give that too her. No matter how pretty, willing, and legal she was. For no matter his appearance Blake was a man of morals. He was a man who stood by the things that he believed and didn't budge. Things like, Atty. And her being worth waiting for, her being worth being his girlfriend, all things that he was more than sure she didn't believe, he did. And there would be no shifting of his moral just because he might want to get his rocks off. There was a small smile on his lips as he watched her lift herself from the bed, that soft expression still on his features looking at her like she was some sort of precious gem. Which in the eyes of Blake, she was, even if she didn't see herself that way. His arms moved to lazyily wrap around her, his hands resting on her hips and his blues locked on her own gaze. "Atty," he started out simply before pulling her a bit closer and bringing his face close to hers again. "I told you when I took you in, that I'm not like those guys that used you before me. I told you, that this was a safe place for you. That this was a place where you could feel at home, and not like you owed anyone anything. I meant that." One of his hands lifted so that he could brush away some of her blonde locks with his fingertips and place them behind her ear. That same hand then cupped her cheek, letting his thumb graze her cheek bone as his eyes searched her features for a moment. "I know, that you probably think that you're not worth being someone's girlfriend. Because of your past, or things you've done, or what the fuck ever. But, I don't care about those things. They don't matter. What I care about, is the girl that I know now. This sweet, beautiful, a little crazy but all the better because of it, girl." His hand then moved to rest over her heart. "A girl with a good heart. If you would like to date me, I'd be more than willing to. I'm not just going to be another man in your life like all the ones before it though. I can promise you that." And a promise with Blake, was a true promise. There was a sweet smile on his lips again and he pressed another kiss to her forehead, letting his hand drop back to her hip. words idgaf tagged renee/atty notes blah blah blah template coded by becky! of caution 2.0

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[artemis cadence russell]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-color: #272029; border: 3px solid #e1e1e1; padding: 10px; border-radius: 0px 0px 300px 300px;] A T T Y i had everything... atty loved blake. she did. she really appreciated everything that he was doing for her and for caleb and for anyone who seemed like they needed his help. but he was truly an idiot sometimes and whenever he started going off about her worth and how happy he'd be to date her, that's when it really showed. because she wasn't worth it. she didn't mean to be down on herself and in fact acted like quite the cocky bitch to other people when they were around her. but she couldn't hide the fact forever that she was made up of a lot of bad morals, bad ideas, and bad habits, and none of them seemed to really coincide well with societal views of a good person. because she wasn't one. she had a loose tongue and looser morals and if she was being incredibly honest, if she wasn't her, she wouldn't give herself the time of day. she certainly wasn't worth blake's reassurance. and she wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend. she wasn't good enough to be anyone's girlfriend, let alone blake's. hell, she didn't know how blake dealt with being her roommate. she was annoying, she was loud, she was borderline crazy, and she had to admit that she was far too pushy and nosy for her own good. she was always up in everyone else's business and crawling all over people and if she was anyone else, she'd probably drive herself insane, especially since she didn't just stop her annoying behavior but intensified it when people pointed out that she was being a complete and total idiot. that sort of behavior should never be forced on someone, especially in an intimate way seeing as she wasn't good with relationships. she didn't quite understand the whole monogamous relationship thing - how she was supposed to stay with just one person. no one deserved to be with someone like her. no one. especially not blake, who was the kindest and most honest man she had ever known. not that she wouldn't try for him. she figured she would. maybe refrain from sleeping with strangers to the least, maybe even going as far as to just avoid any hot ones. but there was only so much atty could do. after all, she didn't work an innocent job for a living and though it was a look-but-don't-touch kind of thing, that wasn't always true either if they waved enough cash in her face. she wasn't required to do much that she'd regret but it didn't mean for a lot extra she wouldn't. and other than that, she was artemis russell. couldn't turn down an offer for sex if it meant her life would end afterward. she would only hurt him in the end and she didn't want that. she didn't want to hurt caleb after all the kindness he gave to her. but she could revel in his touch, enjoy the feeling of his hands, the warmth of his being. that she could do. she just didn't understand why he didn't understand that. "blake..." she closed her eyes at the touch of his hand, leaning her cheek into his touch and looking up at him. it was easy to believe you were a good person when blake goldstien was telling you so but it didn't make it true. it didn't mean that because he was willing to be a good boyfriend, she was willing or even able to be the best girlfriend. "you know i'd love to just...believe i could be good for you like you'd be good for me." she smiled at him, a little sadly. she wouldn't elaborate on that. couldn't, really. she didn't know how to explain to him that she couldn't be this person that he expected her to be. she couldn't be....wonderful or good underneath it all. it wasn't her. it wasn't something she was capable of. so instead of elaborating she just leaned more into him and said quietly, "what about a kiss? a kiss never hurt anybody." it would be so much easier to get to him if she could just make that connection. "and not for giving me a place to stay. more for being so damn cute." ...opportunities for eternity Tags;; kit/blake/later caleb Notes;; roomies are the greatest ok Outfit;;this

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table by MudBug

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[caleb marcus farris]

for the most part caleb would say that the move had been a good one. of course for a boy who wasn't all that used to change it was a nice change of pace to just be able to start over. plus, he had blake with him. a man who was quite possibly the best friend that he had ever had. thanks to blake he was coming up on almost two years clean and sober. not that there hadn't been close calls and not that it didn't get incredibly difficult from time to time, but, fuck, he was doing the best that he could. and thus far, the best was actually working out in his favor. he was able to get a transfer to another der waffle haus so there wasn't the worry of having to find a job. he had made a couple friends who worked with him, and he had even been thinking of going back to school.

the number of good days that he'd been having were more than bad, even with living with atty which wasn't always the easiest thing. she was a wild girl, more than a little scary, and she got too close for comfort a lot of the time. not that he didn't like her, she just, had this way of setting the boy on end. maybe because she reminded him so much of the type of women that live the life that he used to live. having her close, some days it was like being close to that world again. sure, blake made sure that she was sober for the most part when she was at home, but he couldn't control her every move.

for as many good days as he did have, though, this day had not been a good day. instead it had been one of those days where he was in an almost constant battle with himself. there was no telling what had made it a bad day, or what little instance had caused him to start considering needing a fix. in all truth of the matter, it didn't take much. a look from someone, or a comment. little things like getting an order wrong or losing count when he was doing his till. just those little things that most people could deal with, those little fuck ups that the majority of the population just brushed off their backs, it wasn't so easy for caleb to do that. because every little fuck up, sent a part of his brain back. a part of his brain longing for a fix. because, he was a junkie. clean or sober, he was a junkie, and he knew that he would always be that way, but it didn't make things any easier.

caleb was lucky though because he had a good support system. consisting of mostly blake. so after clocking out the blonde didn't do a damn thing but make his way home to talk to his best friend. because, well, blake had a way of talking to him, a way of calming him down without making him feel like he was failing someone. he was a bit rushed in his footsteps once he entered their home and he made his way directly towards his door a bit too out of it to even notice that the door was shut, something that was really out of the normal. he did walk in, however, in time to hear the words that left atty's lips and those big blues of his grew wide.

"no," came from the boy. "oh no. nonononononono. bad idea. really, really bad idea. worst idea ever," he rattled before stepping between them and ignoring for a fact that he wasn't too keen on physical contact to pull the pair apart. "rule number one, of having roommates, is you never sleep with your roommates. i mean, come on, don't you two know anything? no sleeping together, no touching, no kissing. jesus christ." que panic now.