so i can't hurt you anymore - [zane]

[mickey james wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb= style, background-color: 6F434E; width: 420px; padding: 5 5 5 5px; border: 10px solid #2F2E2E;] two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl renee/zane - too many words - ily or wtfever this was bad. this was very, very bad. the reason that mickey said all those things while he was asleep was so that zane didn't hear them. he wasn't supposed to hear them. they were things that mick never wanted him to hear because it was going to be the start of something that he was sure was going to end badly. he was so damn sure of it. but zane had heard them. he had heard every god damn word that he had so foolishly let fly from his lips. and now everything was going to be totally fucked. and he had no idea how he was supposed to take it back. fuck, there was a part of him that didn't want to take it back. it was stupid, though, to not want to take it back because this was a bad idea. and he knew it. then again, actually staying away from it because it was a bad idea was just not mick's style. he always went with the bad ideas. the man sat there totally conflicted. torn between just wanting to give in and wanting to run. he was frozen in place, though. unable to make a move either way. his mind was going a million miles per hour and he hadn't even noticed that zane had moved until he felt hands on his shoulders causing him to visibly jump again. but then, he relaxed. having zane hold him like he was there was no way that he couldn't find comfort in the embrace. mick closed his eyes, trying to focus on keeping his breathing from being those rushed panic breaths that caused him to be light headed. it didn't last long, though, not when zane started speaking again. his whole body tensed all over again and eyes grew wide for a moment. zane had been awake, not only this time, but times before. he had heard the things that mickey had said before this time. mickey was caught, there was no way that he could talk himself out of this one. no way that he could weasel his way out of this. for a man that could talk his way out of damn near everything there was no talking his way out of this one. no way to just convince zane that he had heard wrong, or that he didn't mean the things that he'd said. in a way, zane had him by the short and curlys and not in a way that was any sort of fun. zane had him, he had heard, he had stopped pretending to sleep, there was no stopping this, there was no changing it. and hell, he could've gotten up and left the room. left the house. postponed the fight for another day in which all zane wanted was for mickey to just give in and be with him and all mick could think was that he would end up fucking it up. he stayed though. he didn't move. he just stayed there in his arms letting those last pleading words run through his mind again and again. finally mick turned to look at zane, panic still in those dark eyes of his but something else. maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be all bad. maybe this would work out. maybe zane did have enough faith for the both of them. the smaller man turned more so that he could face him better and his eyes took in the features of this man. his best friend, his rock, the only person who had ever said anything good about him in his entire life. and he knew, right then, that he couldn't leave. he couldn't deny zane this. not any longer. "you're such a shit," he spoke in soft tones his fingers moving to lazily trace his jawline as eyes moved from zane's own gaze to his lips. then the ghost of zane's lips fell of his own again and he remembered how perfect it had felt to kiss him. "you really are, just such a shit," he tagged on before doing the last thing that would seal their fate as to what they were to each other. he leaned forward and he kissed his best friend. there was no turning back now, there was no avoiding it. mick was throwing in the towel and just going to let whatever was going to happen happen. he just didn't have it in him to fight it anymore. so he kissed him, and his fingers slipped back into zane's hair. and mickey would be a liar, if he were to say that this wasn't the best kiss that he'd ever had in his entire life. oh how we found the same old fears TEMPLATE BY BROOKE~

[zane dominic mercer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] FUCK THE PAST; THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HAND The Words: lazy The Outfit: click The Notes aljdskf ZICKEY TEARS it was something twenty-five years in the making. something that people should be able to say that they were expecting. there had never been a moment when zane had been without mickey, mickey without zane. hell they were even born less than two weeks apart because fuck it all if even a due date was going to keep those two men away from each other. he grew up with mickey; he experienced so much with him and had so much help growing up with him and even if for a while both of them sort of lost their way, they always had each other. always, since day one, and that was something that zane always remembered when people asked why he still hung around with a guy like that. mickey was his first friend, mickey was his best friend, mickey was the god damn love of his life. so when he kissed him for only the second time while sober, the only thought he could really get out was finally. because it was about god damn time that he stopped pretending like this wasn't going to happen. like two men who knew one another as closely as they knew each other weren't going to fall in love and like it wasn't going to be worth it and beautiful and everything else that he just knew their relationship would be. it was stupid of mickey to have held out on this same as it was stupid of zane to keep pushing it so hard when mick wasn't ready. but he supposed the whole thing was stupid because if they had just stopped trying to think about the other and had given into their feelings long ago, they wouldn't be in this sort of mess. but he wasn't going to think about that either. they needed time to grow up and mature - even if it was only very very very slightly. so when mickey kissed him that was twenty-five years of friendship, ten years of love, four years of built up sexual tension that they hadn't been able to get out while they'd both been drinking. and that was a lot to get out. he felt his mouth curve up with mickey's words and at the feeling of his hands and then...their lips touched. and it was stupid and it was sappy and it wasn't like them but zane could feel its warmth extend through his entire body, revitalizing him, bringing a part of him back to life that he didn't know had gone into hiding. his fingers ghosted over mickey's cheekbone as he pressed his lips back against his, moving in to cup his cheek as he deepened the kiss, pulling mick both closer to him to feel him pressed against his chest, his chest pounding almost painfully as his heart rate skyrocketed and he was finally able to take the time to memorize the feeling of mickey's lips on his own. finally. when he pulled away it was with reluctance and he went back in for a few short pecks on the lips just to keep himself held over because fuck it all if he actually wanted to stop kissing him. but he knew mick couldn't just call him a shit and have that be it. somehow he got it into his head that he had to talk to his friend because the last thing he wanted was another moment where mick drove him crazy and then pulled away and retreated back into the mickey cave again. he wanted it to be real and wanted it to be right. so he gave him one final lingering kiss before pulling away though not far, pressing their foreheads together as he kept his tight hold around him. "i love you," he said quietly. "and you have no right to call me a shit when you are such a fuckin' shit." he chuckled quietly and kissed him again for good measure. "i'm happy you're finally seeing things my way for once." created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[mickey james wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb= style, background-color: 6F434E; width: 420px; padding: 5 5 5 5px; border: 10px solid #2F2E2E;] two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl renee/zane - too many words - ily or wtfever part of mick couldn't help but feel like he had given in. like in some sort of way he had thrown in his pride and just given up. decided that he was done trying to fight for his side of the argument and just let zane love him. which really, was that such a bad thing? was it really so terrible to have someone as great as zane mercer love you? no, it wasn't and mick knew that it wasn't. and he knew that zane would easily love him for the rest of his life and there wouldn't be anything that could stop that best friend of his from loving him until the day that he died, but that was what scared him. because zane was just so fucking good. but he was done fighting. he was done denying both himself and zane what they both obviously wanted. because, it had been damn near their whole lives of this chasing each other in circles bullshit. barely touching the water and then running from it. like it was going to jump up and eat them. or at least, that was how mick had been treating it. because he knew better than to think that zane wouldn't have happily jumped in at any point. so here they both were in this lake that was going to possible be one of the best relationships in existence but mickey was still feeling like he had been throwing into the water instead of jumping into it of his own decision. either way, there was no stopping it. and fuck, he had given up on denying it any longer. he loved this dumb fucker. he loved everything about him. all the way down to his blind faith in mick himself and he was just going to accept it. he was going to more than happily press his body into zane's when he pulled him close, letting his clothed torso sit flush against zane's own naked one. he let his lips feel zane's own, let his tongue invade this man's mouth so that he could know what it was to actually kiss him. fully kiss him. and he wouldn't stop himself as a small moan rattled his vocal chords. because this was the best damn kiss of his entire fucking life. and he fucking knew it. a small whimper came from the man when he pulled away regardless of the pecks that were still placed on his lips. and his eyes fluttered open so that he could look at the man he was kissing. he wasn't just some boy that he didn't know. he wasn't just some person that he had picked up at the bar. he was his best friend. the only human being that had really stood beside him without bitching about it almost the entire time. zane fucking loved him. and he fucking loved zane. and it was scary and exciting and fucking just, all the emotions at once. and for a brief moment he thought about leaving again. about pulling away and running. but there was no way that he could do that with the hold that zane had on him, keeping them as close as they could possibly be without fucking. so instead of running, he just gave into it. he let a smirk pull the corners of his lips as he gazed into zane's eyes and he snuck his own small kiss. "i love you too," he spoke, almost shocked how easily the words flowed from his lips, as could be told by the slight widening of his own eyes. he didn't think much of it though, because, well fuck, it wasn't worth it. he was just going with things at this point. not thinking about it and instead just letting it happen and letting himself enjoy this. letting himself love it, as much as he loved this fuck. "yeah well, i guess that i had to let you win at least one argument in the span of our friendship. glad that i save that one losing for this one, though," he spoke teasingly and then kissed him again, this time pushing him back so that he was laying on the bed again with mickey's own body falling like a blanket on top of zane's. he deepended the kiss and let out a small moan, pressing his hips into zane's. maybe he was taking it a little far. but he was mickey james wilson after all. in love, or not. oh how we found the same old fears TEMPLATE BY BROOKE~

[zane dominic mercer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] FUCK THE PAST; THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HAND The Words: lazy The Outfit: click The Notes aljdskf ZICKEY TEARS fuck if that whimper wasn't the best god damned thing he had ever heard in his life. hell if mickey wasn't the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. and if it wasn't the best feeling in the world to have mickey pressed against him like he was, then he didn't want to know what was because this - this was heaven on earth. he could search the entire world for something that felt this good, for something that tasted as sweet as mickey's lips, for something as plain wonderful as how it felt to be on his bed with this man but he knew he'd never find it. this was where he had always wanted to be, where he had dreamt of being for over a decade. with his best friend, able at last to call him his, holding him tight to him and just smiling down at him knowing that whenever he wanted to kiss him now he could just lean down and.... not that he had to worry about it apparently because suddenly there was mickey's lips on his own, and riding off the high of hearing him tell him for the first time when he knew he was awake that he loved him, zane didn't even care when he was pushed backward onto his mattress and mickey's body covered his own. he just wrapped his arms tight around him, returning his kiss with vigor and running his fingers up to grip in his hair as he pressed his hips up against mickey's rolling down moaning lowly into his mouth. it didn't occur to him for a moment that this could lead to something bad. it just ran through his mind that mickey just said that he loved him and mickey was kissing him and mickey was his boyfriend so mickey had a right to do that now. he had a right to his lips, to his body, to push him back like that and press tight into him. only, he didn't really. well he had the right to his lips and eventually his body and he could push him onto the bed whenever he wanted but no matter how long zane had known him, mickey was still a new boyfriend. and he had a policy - no sex until he was absolutely certain, absolutely one hundred percent certain that this was going to be something serious. and though he loved mickey, loved him with all of his heart...he didn't know that for certain yet. he didn't know that mickey was going to take this as seriously as he would like. zane was a person who liked to look for forever and mick...well mick had never had a relationship before in his life and to be honest, though zane had faith in him, he didn't completely know that mickey knew how to properly love him. and though he had no doubt they would reach the point where they'd have sex eventually and though he had wanted nothing more than sex with mickey since they were very very young, he couldn't just give him a magic green card. the relationship was still fresh. this was still new. mickey didn't get to skip straight to taking his clothes off. so though it was incredibly reluctant, he pulled away from his boyfriend's (boyfriend's) lips, smoothing down the hair he had pushed up as he said, "you know you don't get a 'free access' card, mick." and though it contradicted his earlier actions, he didn't care. he loosened his hold slightly before kissing mickey again, soft, tender, and caring. "i don't mind kissing you. and i don't mind that you do that," with his he pressed his hips against his again, "either. but i love you, mickey james. i want to do this right." he kissed him again. he knew it wasn't fair. and he knew if anything was going to be a deal breaker with mickey, it was going to be keeping him from sex. but he just had faith...that same stupid blind faith that his best friend wasn't going to let him down. his best friend was going to prove to him that this was a good idea. and one day he would have sex with his best friend. it was just going to take a little bit of time. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[mickey james wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb= style, background-color: 6F434E; width: 420px; padding: 5 5 5 5px; border: 10px solid #2F2E2E;] two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl renee/zane - too many words - ily or wtfever zane was intoxicating in a way that he didn't know another human being could be. mickey had kissed a lot of people, he had fucked a lot of people. he'd lost the count a long time of how many people he'd slept with or kissed or touched. not one of them though, not even one of them were as intoxicating as zane was. he never felt so high off of someone's lips as he did right then. it was better than any high he'd ever had, it was better than he ever could've imagined. because this wasn't just some drunk kiss, and this wasn't just him curling up to zane's side while his friend was fake sleeping. this was them being on the same page. them kissing, their bodies pressed together in a way that he had never had with zane. and he was fucking intoxicated by it. totally and completely. mickey couldn't explain it in any other way than he was getting drunk off of his kisses and his body pressed to his own. and it was the best thing fucking ever. zane was the best thing fucking ever. he'd always known it, even if he hadn't always said such a thing. it was the truth. zane and rem, they were the good in his life. and they made him good. a moan escaped his throat when he felt zane press back and it was all he could to do to not rip off the rest of zane and his own clothes and just go to town on that body. have his way with his best friend finally in a way that he'd never been able to have before. deep in the back of his mind there was a voice telling him not to get too into it, not to let the blood rush down south just yet and to content himself with kissing his boyfriend. that's what he was now, his boyfriend. and yet, there was no controlling mickey wilson. he couldn't even control himself or keep himself in line. so he continued to kiss him, letting out small moans, one of his hands moving to run down the tattooed side of his boyfriend and down to his hip which he gripped tightly for a moment. he wanted him, more than he had had anyone in his life before. he'd never felt the need to have sex with someone so much before in his life. like he might die if he didn't get to taste every inch of zane's flesh, like he wouldn't be able to handle existing if he didn't have more of him. he needed him, he thought he was going to have him. then zane pulled away and mickey looked down at him with an almost annoyed expression. why was the kissing stopping? that was the only thing that was going through his brain and it took him a few moments to process the words that were coming out of his mouth. wait what? he didn't get a green card? he didn't get sex? what? this was not what he thought he'd signed up for. but before he could make any kind of protest zane's lips were on his own again and he returned that kiss with more feeling that he had ever kissed someone before. even if he knew, that he was probably going to have quite the case of blue balls here in a few moments. that was right where this was heading. he knew it, and it was not something he was too happy about. and yet, he kissed him. because kissing him was something he couldn't get enough of, and it seemed to muddy his brain to the point where he couldn't really argue with what the man under him was saying no matter how much he didn't like the words. he was looking down at zane again, his breath a bit heavy, and a long drawn out needy groan passing his lips when those hips rolled into his own again. then on top of that he was middle naming him and then kissing him again before he could make any protest. and mick found himself getting caught up in the kiss all over again, his fingers knotting in zane's hair and another moan leaving him. then he remembered the he needed to calm down. he needed to get some blood flow going back to his brain or else there might not be any controlling him from getting up and leaving the house to get his rocks off. he didn't want that though, he didn't want to fuck up. he wanted to be able to love zane right. he pulled away from the kiss and then rolled off of him laying beside him and his hand moving to lace his fingers with zane's. he kept his eyes pinched shut as he tried to steady his breathing. "i hate you right now," he informed the man beside him but squeezed his hand to let him know that he understood. he didn't like it. fuck, he hated this shit. but he understood. "you're breakin my balls," he tagged on then finally opened his eyes before lulling his head over to look at zane. "i might need a cold shower before i go to bed. you fucker, get me all worked up then cock block me," he said with a small smile on his face. no, he couldn't go anywhere. not when he was laying beside this man. not when everything about him was just fucking perfect. there was no way. this was where he belonged, and he'd never belonged anywhere before. oh how we found the same old fears TEMPLATE BY BROOKE~

[zane dominic mercer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] FUCK THE PAST; THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HAND The Words: lazy The Outfit: click The Notes aljdskf ZICKEY TEARS zane knew that his rules were old-fashioned. he knew that these days, waiting a while before having sex wasn't something that a lot of people did, especially wasn't something that mickey wilson did. these days sex felt like an ice breaker - a three date rule that could be twisted and extended or shortened depending on how badly people really wanted to get it on. but with him...with him it didn't matter that he wanted to have sex with someone. he wanted to have sex with a lot of people, his sexuality being as it was and his personality having the perk of finding beauty in every person he encountered but self-control was something he had taught himself to have through having a daughter. he was used to watching what he did, what he said, who he was with now and his rule was still firmly in place, unwavering. maybe it was old fashioned - but in his opinion it was what made his relationships last as long as they did while he still lived in the same house as the man he knew was his soulmate. knowing what a difficult feat that was, the only thing he could attribute happiness in earlier relationships to was the fact that they had waited and made sex something extremely special to share. but it had never been so hard to say it than it was with mickey. with other people, it was a few months of waiting before anything could happen. with mickey, it had been ten years and though he knew it was his own rule getting in the way, it was still a little frustrating to his body to give it this promise of such a beautiful man that he loved so wholly and so unconditionally and then tell it that it had to wait a little while. already he could feel that his usual waiting period was going to be cut dramatically. or at least until he got even the slightest inkling that mickey was in this for more than just the moments they could spent pressed together alone in bed. he knew how little sex could mean to his friend; how little it had always meant. he didn't want that. he wanted to make love with mickey - his friend would scoff at the notion; he could almost predict the exact face he would make if zane ever spoke the wish aloud. but it was what he wanted. he wanted their relationship to be real and right and true and loving and if he gave in like that, mickey was never going to correlate having sex and making love. the annoyed expression mickey gave him when he pulled away just emphasized the need to wait, the absolute no-exceptions lock he was going to have to put on his pants if he wanted to make sure this wasn't just another experience for mickey to file away in his mind. and though that moan (french the mother fucking llama, that moan) was making it extremely hard (no pun intended) for him not to just pull mickey back down for another kiss, say fuck it to his rules and to waiting and to doing it right, he was able to pause and catch his breath and tell himself that this...this was everything he had ever stood for. in a relationship, he was as pathetic as they came, as submissive and as timid and as willing to do everything it took to make sure they still loved him as a puppy looking for a home. but he always had one hold: when they first had sex. as much as he loved mick, he wasn't giving that up. though admittedly his heart pounded painfully in his chest as mickey pulled away from him, a scared expression flashing across his face as he almost cried out for him not to go. because that he couldn't take. he couldn't take one more game of mick giving him...giving him that and then walking away to find someone else who would give him what he wanted. but mickey didn't leave. he just laid down beside him, entwining their fingers together in a simple act of affection and zane found himself able to breathe easy again, relieved that at least for now mickey wasn't going to be leaving him. he laid back against his pillows closing his eyes as he worked to steady his breathing, his thoughts, to reassure himself that this was the right move. this was going to strengthen a relationship he knew was going to be great already. he just had to calm his insecurities and tell himself that mickey wasn't going to leave him every time he denied him sex. he found himself chuckling at mick's words, though, peeking a glance at the beautiful man he could call his boyfriend now. he'd gotten that (and worse) before....from mickey. so he really wasn't going to let it bother him. "love you, too," he laughed before leaning over to kiss him briefly, a simple peck on the lips before laying his head back so he could just stare at him. just lay and stare and admire like he'd done for years; but in a way he'd never gotten to do before. he squeezed his hand back lightly before grinning and adding, "there room for two of us there, or would that be completely counter-productive?" a small tease - one he hoped mickey could forgive him for. honestly, though, it gave him some comfort to see the effect he could have on him; to see mickey did want him. not that getting mick to want to have sex with you was really a big feat but it was still something. "but hey, look. i love you. you are...everything i could want in a person." he leaned forward to kiss him again. "ever. it won't be too long before you won't have to rely on a cold shower. i just need to be sure it's not just a bunch of honeymoon phase hormones." he squeezed his hand again and smiled at him lovingly. "okay?" created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[mickey james wilson]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb= style, background-color: 6F434E; width: 420px; padding: 5 5 5 5px; border: 10px solid #2F2E2E;] two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl renee/zane - too many words - ily or wtfever there was a part of mickey that was complete convinced that zane was trying to kill him. that was what this was. zane mercer was trying to murder him via blue balls. that could be the only explanation for this. because anything else was just cruel. zane actually hated him and was just looking to give him his just desserts by killing him through sexual frustration. and with a man such a mickey wilson that might actually be possible. a few people might even stand by that assumption. because mickey hadn't gone three days without having sex since he was fourteen. because mickey wilson treated sex like it was just another part of the day. oh throw in some sex with so and so here, and a dash of oral there. the recipe for mickey's life was detached sex and alcohol with a dash of zane and rem and a bit of the tattoo shop. that was how he had been for as long as post people could remember. so not having sex, god damn, that was going to be the fuckin hard part with all of this relationship shit and he knew it. he just fuckin knew it. he might end up dead before they even got to that part. because if there was one thing that he had realized in the last half-hour or so of being close to zane, and having zane awake, and having zane touch and kiss him, it was that this son of a bitch knew JUST how to touch him. he knew the perfect way to kiss him. he knew just how to take hold of his hair, and press his hips into his own. no one had ever gotten this strong of a reaction out of him before, and he was quite fucking sure that he was going to die because of it. because he knew from now on that zane could just touch his hip in a certain way in passing and it would have an effect on him. he knew the longer that he went without sex the less it would take to make him want to attack, but he wouldn't be able to. he would just have to control himself. not that he had any fucking clue how to do that. he didn't have any clue how to not have sex with someone, especially not someone that actually meant something to him. not that he'd ever experienced that before this moment. but it still stood. he could turn down damn near anyone else, but he couldn't turn down zane. and he was his best friend's in a way that he had never belonged to anyone before this moment. and he fucking loved him, which made everything all the fucking harder. he laid there working on catching his breath and willing his blood to go back to his brain. the bulge in his jeans was uncomfortably tight and he wished he'd changed into a pair of pajama pants or some shit like that because right then skinny jeans were not his friend. this was not mickey's idea of a good time. and if zane had been any other person in the fucking world he would've been out of there so fast that not even the road runner could've caught him. but he was zane. and he loved the fucker. and they were actually trying this. so he laid there using all the control that he had in his body to keep himself from just attacking the man whose hand he was holding. because they were going to do it zane's way, no matter how much he might not want to. and zane's way meant waiting to have sex, because that's how things went with relationships with zane. and mickey knew that going in. and maybe he had hoped that he would've been an exception. but then again, he knew zane so much better than that. there was no way that he would let mickey of all people be the exception because he needed to know that mick more than all his other relationships would actually be there. and mickey hated it so much that he could scream. a sexually frustrated mickey was not a fun one to be around. he returned the peck to his lips but he kept his eyes closed worried of what he might do if he were to open his eyes again. then those teasing words came and mickey swore to god that he could've flipped a nut right then. instead he just opened his eyes and looked over at him with a sharp glare that somehow melted while he was looking at him. "that's not funny," he said in a stern tone even though his lips spread into a small little smile. and if zane hadn't been who he was then mickey probably would've punched him in the face and then stormed off to fuck someone else. but it was zane, and he loved the son of a bitch. so he let that little smile stay on his lips. "if we took a shower together there would be no keeping that rule in place. and you would like it too much to even call it rape," he informed his boy. his smile spread though, because mick never knew how good it could feel to actually be loved by someone instead of just fucking them. and especially in the way that zane loved him. "that's because you're insane," he informed him to his first comment before returning the kiss and smiling against his lips. then came a big roll of mickey's brown eyes and a loud sigh before he looked over at him with a smile. "i know, okay, i get it. the zane mercer right of passage or what the fuck ever. and i love you too. fuck ass." and with that he sat up. "i seriously need to take a cold shower though," he added with a bit of a chuckle. oh how we found the same old fears TEMPLATE BY BROOKE~

[zane dominic mercer]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] FUCK THE PAST; THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR HAND The Words: lazy The Outfit: click The Notes aljdskf ZICKEY TEARS he had forgotten what it was like to be this happy. to run off the high of a relationship he really wanted and be able to put his all into kisses and touches instead of holding back just in case it was a fluke in his feelings. he knew what he felt for mickey wasn't a fluke. he knew it was far from fake and it was emphasized every time he laid eyes on a different part of his body, a different section of skin. every second that passed and it clicked more and more that mickey was his boyfriend now, that mickey was his, that he was free now to kiss him, to touch him...though it wasn't something he suspected was recommended at this very second considering one of mick's latest comments about the shower, it was nice to know that he was at liberty now to hold his hand and tell people for the first time in the years that they've been asked, that yes, that was his boyfriend, that was their daughter, and would they please kindly step aside? he had forgotten, long since forgotten what it was like to lie next to someone that you truly loved, to take in their features and drink in everything that you loved about them. and god there was so much about mickey he could name that drove him crazy without ever going beneath the skin. his tattoos, clearly visible on his hands, his neck, up near his ear, and how he knew they extended down his torso. his lips that he had just pressed his so lightly and tenderly to, the eyes he swear he could see the entire fucking world in. as he sat up and zane got a view of the slim profile of his body, he couldn't help but grin to himself because he had always thought mickey to be one of the most attractive people he had ever laid eyes on. and now that was his. that was his boyfriend right down to the bulge in the front of his jeans that sent a hot flush up his cheeks. and that didn't even get into everything else he loved about mickey. his sense of humor. the way that his smile betrayed his tone when he told him it wasn't funny to tease, the feeling of his smile against his lips and the way he wasn't afraid to use rather crass insults and manage to make them sound like pet names. he loved the feigned self-confidence, and shit did he ever know it was feigned and he loved that about him too. that he had this soft, nougaty center that no one ever really got to see unless they saw him around boo. or unless he thought they were sleeping, evidently. he loved him from the stupid jokes he made to the infuriating way he pulled at his heartstrings without even knowing it, how sweet he was and how well he had always fit in this perfect spot in the mercer family. he loved that the place next to him in bed just felt like it was made for him and he didn't care how nicholas sparks he was sounding by thinking it but he loved mickey for simply existing. but he knew he had to let him go take that shower if he was going to stay with that rule of his. it was obvious, extremely obvious, that he had more of an effect on the man he was just kissing than he'd first anticipated and he didn't know if he should feel bad or laugh about the whole thing. of course he didn't want to torture his boyfriend. more than anything he wanted to give him what he wanted, to appease him, to keep him now that he had him. but there were some things that he had to stand by and this was one of them, especially with someone who meant as much to him as mickey. he just wanted to be one hundred percent certain that this was the real thing. but that didn't stop him from teasing him and he took a little pleasure out of sitting up and saying, "okay baby," before leaning in as though to kiss him again, his fingers ghosting down his side. but he swerved up at the last minute to kiss his forehead and whispered lowly, "think of me in there," before laying back slightly reclined against his pillows. "also make it fast, emotions make me tired, and i'm not falling asleep without you." created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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