Post by jason elijah rowe on Feb 28, 2012 3:41:35 GMT -5
The last few weeks had been seriously tough on Jason, he'd had that rough spot with Peter, then they'd finally made up at the auditions to the musical. Then the musical had turned out to be pretty much about the two of them and he'd have to play openly gay on stage in front of a lot of people. Not to mention some of the lyrics rubbed both him and Peter the wrong way. His nerves had been so high strung lately he'd felt about ready to snap at any moment, and so he'd decided it was time to hang out with his favorite family member. Mostly she was her favorite because he could talk to her about everything. Well almost everything, there were a very few select secrets he still kept from her, like the fact that he was gay, or the fact that he'd seriously been on the edge before the auditions. He'd even gone far enough as to buy a deadly dose of GHB that he'd been planning on taking, however he'd not really had the guts to do so, and now that things were looking up he was glad he hadn't. Not that the bottle wasn't still sitting in the bottom of his underwear drawer, but he had no plans of using it any time soon.
All the stress of the last few weeks though had put their mark on him. He looked like shit. Well that was a little exaggerated because Jason Rowe never looked like shit. It just wasn't humanly possible for him. He looked tired though, and there was a very slight hint of dark circles under his eyes which someone who'd known him all his life would easily notice. Never had this boy been one to easily admit his weaknesses or show his vulnerability, but to someone like Peter of Lydia, well it would be more than easy for her to tell that something was stressing him out. Honestly he was about ready to explode from all the pent up emotions and stress. Sure Peter had helped a lot, especially after the rehearsal earlier that morning, but there was still pent up stress. Not to mention the fact that he'd been absolutely exhausted after running those scenes and was even still feeling a bit nauseous.
It wasn't just stage fright that had cause this nausea, it was also all the emotions that singing and acting out Epiphany and Role of a Lifetime had brought to the surface. The fear of being an abomination the way epiphany calles the play's Peter when referring to him being gay, and then the knowing that role of a lifetime could very much be how his Peter felt about them. Sure the guy had said it wasn't but that didn't stop Jason from thinking he was the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. So there he was, on his way to hang out with Lydia who was pretty much as close to him as if she were his twin. All he really felt he needed was to be somewhere with someone who wouldn't judge him and where he felt like he wasn't in need to be a perfect anything.
Between the rehearsal and now there had been classes and football practice and keeping up the perfectly happy straight sports guy face had been extremely difficult that day. Walking up to her door he knocked in the way he'd always knocked on her door ever since they were kids. It was three rapid knocks followed by four knocks with some more time between and two rapid ones again. It was sort of their secret knock to let the other know who was coming. Sure Lydia's room mate had thought it to be very strange the first time she'd heard it, but she'd had to get used to it. He prayed to God that the room mate wouldn't be there now though, because he really just needed some time with Lydia on his own. So he could put away the act of being fine and the act of being someone he wasn't and just be himself for a while. Not the perfect hero some of the people at this place seemed to think of him as.